Destiny
by Elephant Travels
Summary: Peyson lived a simple life in her village in Middle Earth but all that changed when her village is destroyed by orcs and she is forced to flee. Now she has to make life changing decisions and put into practice skills she believed were just things to pass the time. On top of everything else she has to contend with complicated feelings concerning a Ranger and both of their destinies.
1. Chapter 1

The pain was blinding and all consuming as I fought to keep my eyes open and my wits about me. Breathing harshly through my nose I pushed myself to my feet and backed into a corner, hidden from my enemies so that I could further assess the damage done. The arrow was black and thick still quivering slightly where it it protruded from just below my shoulder.

"Shit," I murmur in a whisper, my right arm was useless until I could get this out and heal. How was I to fight? A scuffle in front of me brought me back to the present as I quickly picked up my sword and using my slightly more clumsy left arm to fight and kill the orc before me. I am breathing hard as the pain once more washes over me, a fiery burning that forces me to use every ounce of strength fighting not to scream. Screams fill the air and it breaks my heart that I cannot save them not without dying myself, there is no way I can continue to fight. Fear begins to creep into my heart now an unadulterated terror paralysing me completely. What was I thinking? I was no solider or warrior how could I possibly expect to protect anyone, to save anyone? I push myself quickly into a hidden corner and cower there trying to block out the screams and anguished cries echoing through me.

It is a matter of minutes later that the orc's seem satisfied that they have wiped out our village and I hear them moving away but still I don't move. For hours I sit there shaking until I am certain that there is nothing returning and only then do I drag my battered and exhausted body from my hiding place and leave to see the full extent of the damage. A gasp escapes me and tears gather in my eyes as I look around the wreckage that had been my home. Everything was gone, everyone was gone. The acrid smell of smoke fills my nostrils as I look upon the remains of what had been my life for as long as I can remember but it is the sight of my friends and my family, those people I had known since birth, their broken bodies lying in piles, dead eyes staring accusingly at me that sends me to my knees bitter sobs torn from my throat. This pain is worse than the arrow still embedded in my body, it is worse than anything could be. For I knew that it is my fault, if I had been stronger braver if I had been less of a coward I could have saved them.

After a while I realise that I cannot leave them here like this and so finding a small twig and biting down on it I grasp the arrow shaft and snap it close to my skin, I cannot pull it out yet I need help for that. The pain of this action makes stars dance before my eyes and sickness pulses through me but shaking my head I determinedly get to my feet and push the nausea and pain away. My fault, my fault, my fault. The mantra is on a loop in my head and the only thing keeping me going as I move the remains of those closest to me pulling them together so that I could burn them and that is what I did. Tired and emotionally spent I light the pyre and watch them burn saying a prayer and hoping that the Valar would protect them as I had failed to. Surprisingly it seems I do have tears left to cry and by the time my tears have dried my throat is sore and my eyes puffy and tender, my body fatigued in a way I had not yet experienced in my life and I felt more lost and alone than I ever had.

Standing shakily I watch the smoke rising into the sky and notice that night is setting in. I know I cannot stay here, more orcs could come, those ones could come back and if they don't animals and wild men will be here soon. No, if I was to survive then I had to leave. Making my way towards what was left of my home I gather a pack of clothing and weaponry as well as what scraps of food I can find have been left. I don't have a canteen for water and I know that I could be in serious trouble without one but I had no other choice than to leave without one and hope for the best. Maybe if I head for the river I will survive long enough to reach Rivendell where the elves may help me for a time. With a final grunt of pain I attempt to strap my arm into a makeshift sling and heft my pack over my other shoulder, my sword strapped to my side and my bow and quiver tucked behind my pack, all useless until I have healed my arm.

I walk quickly trying not to look back even as the smell of burning clings to me and makes me want to gag but I didn't I shut myself off from those emotions they would do me no good now. Every time I thought about them guilt pulsed through me so strong it made my heart ache and so I decided that I would no longer allow myself to care in such a way for people. If I didn't care I couldn't hurt like this could I? I would learn to be stronger I would make myself braver and I would never let anyone down again. That was the promise I made myself as I headed into the unknown, alone.

I had been travelling for nearly three days by now and I knew I needed to hurry if I was to survive, the arrow wound was beginning to fester, my food had run out yesterday and I was losing the battle against dehydration. My blood freezes in my veins as I hear voices ahead of me and I dart quickly behind a tree as I listen. After standing there for a while I can distinguish at least three different voices but there could easily be more present. It is as I am moving away that I smell the unmistakable scent of cooking and I almost faint from the desire to eat and decide that I would get closer and work out how much of a threat these unknown things were, I knew they were not orcs for they were speaking Westron but I knew not what they were. I creep closer and eventually I manage to spy them between a few branches, there were three of them, tiny creatures they must by hobbits I thought to myself thinking back to the stories my mother had told me as I was growing up but what on earth where they doing this far from their home.

"Do not move," a low voice growls behind me suddenly and I feel the tip of a sword pressed firmly into my side. "State your purpose," the voice continues and remembering my vow I push my fear away and decide that I should cover it with stubbornness instead.

"I would state my business better if I could see my captors face," I reply, proud of the steadiness in my voice. For a second nothing happens and then I feel the swords pressure at my side slack a little and a hand on my arm dragging me round. I am unable to prevent the cry of pain that escapes as he puts pressure on the infected arrow wound and berate myself for it immediately as I see the slight concern flicker behind his hard expression.

"What are you doing here? Who are you?" he asks and I sigh, by looking at his garb I can tell he is a ranger, they sometimes used to stop in our village so I knew them well. In fact it was a ranger who first taught me to wield a sword. His name was Hallebrad and he had stayed at our home whilst recovering from a battle injury. He taught me to fight and despite it being unseemly for a woman to know the ways of battle my mother and father had allowed me to be trained. I had practised constantly and every time he visited he had further trained me until I was as good as a ranger, so he said. Of course I know now that he was just being kind, if I was really as good as a ranger I would have been able to save those I loved.

"I am travelling to Rivendell," I say quietly after a while, I could trust a ranger I had been taught that and this one had something about him that made me calm, it stilled my turmoil if only briefly.

"Alone? How came you to be injured?" he asks now,

"Where are you going?" I ask in retaliation and he smirks slightly at me.

"My company and I also travel to Rivendell he replies directing with his sword for me to move forwards and with a reluctant sigh I do and find myself in their camp, three hobbits staring up at me.

"Who are you?" one asks immediately and I almost smile at the innocence behind the question.

"Pip be quiet," another one hisses and this time I do smile a tiny bit before wobbling slightly on my feet as my condition deteriorates in the face of food and company. I'm not sure if it is because I feel some minimal sense of security for the first time in days or because I feel like I have at least one other who could truly protect himself and others with me but suddenly it is like my body is giving up on me and my legs give way sending me crashing to my knees where I sway until I feel arms slowly pulling me to a sitting position against a rock, carefully avoiding the wound in my shoulder.

"My lady you are pale, please tell us what happened we mean you no harm," I look up at the concern in the voice of the ranger as he crouches in front of me and I fight to keep my heart from opening up to him but I am too tired.

"My village was attacked. Orcs. They all died, I tried… wasn't strong enough now I'm hoping the elves can help heal this before it is too late and then… I don't know," I say grinding my teeth together as he pulls my tunic away from my shoulder.

"This would is infected," he says and I nod.

"I know, it is three days old at least now, I could not get it out on my own," I say and he nods too.

"I must pull the remains of this arrow out before it is too late," he mutters and I nod, simply accepting the branch he gives me to bite down on fight not to scream or pass out as he swiftly pulls it out. The fiery pain instantly fades as it is removed and I sigh in near ecstasy willing the tears not to fall as he begins to clean and bandage my shoulder.

"Thank you," I murmur when he has finished and he smiles slightly at me,

"You are brave my lady," he says and I give a bitter little laugh at this shaking my head,

"I am neither brave or worthy of being called a lady," I say quietly before moving to stand up, "I should leave I have taken up enough of your time already,"

"You must not leave, you are weak and I can already see a fever raging war inside of you, I have removed the arrow head, but it was embedded for too long, we are both heading to Rivendell you will get there quicker with us and have more chance of survival," the ranger insists pulling me back down and handing me a canteen of water that I drink from as a dying woman would have.

"Wow thats the most I've ever heard Strider talk in one go," one of the hobbits says and I want to laugh again.

Over the next two days we travel as far as we can, I can feel myself getting weaker but at the same time feel stronger than I had in days, it was a very odd feeling indeed. On top of that I was constantly berating myself for not following my own rules. All I had to do was not care anymore and I had failed. Already I knew that I would do anything in my power to save the sweet little hobbits and the moody ranger who accompanied me. I wasn't supposed to feel anything anymore, why couldn't my heart listen to what my head was telling it?

"My lady your fever is growing stronger," Strider says in concern as we break for rest when dusk is setting in.

"I will be fine," I reply tiredly turning my head to smile at him, "and it's Peyson not lady I told you I am not deserving of that title, I am but a village girl and a failure," I say and he looks curious for a second but knows well enough that I will not talk and I am grateful for him not asking. It is as he is moving to check my injury that we hear the approaching horses and both stiffen. Instantly we both jump to our feet pulling out or swords and pushing the hobbits behind us. I try my best to look threatening despite the fact that my vision is blurring and I think I may be shaking visibly.

"amin naa glad a' elea lle Melloneamin" (I am glad to see you my friends) Aragorn says in a relieved voice and I relax as I focus on the elves in front of me.

"lye caela been searchien ten' lle tul a let lye be no' lye men" (We have been searching for you come let us be on our way) the one at the front replied and within seconds I am on a horse, Strider sitting behind me and the hobbits on horses with the elves and we are galloping through the wilderness.

"Peyson, are you well?" Strider asks in my ear as my head droops a little.

'I am fine Strider, just tired I will be glad when we reach Rivendell," I reply honestly and I can almost feel him smile as the horses slow and he squeezes my waist slightly which makes me stiffen instinctively which he notices immediately releasing his hold on me.

"We are here," he breathes and it is difficult to not get swept up in his severance for the place and then I look up and the sight before me steals a gasp from me. It is the most most beautiful place I have ever seen but more than that is the air of peace that encompasses it. I feel the calm wash over me and I feel safe, truly safe for the first time since before my village was attacked.

"I have dreamed of seeing the home of the elves but I never thought I would see it," I whisper,

"I am just sorry it is under such circumstances," Strider replies quietly.

"Sut tul e lle cael- y' harwe edainme e' lle party?" (How came you to have a wounded woman in your party?) one of the elves asks and I turn to see him looking curiously at me, Strider opens his mouth to answer but I interrupt before he can speak.

"Amin village nae cronhe ed' orcs ar' amin tul e thar sen whilst travellien sinome amin." (My village was attacked by orcs and I came across them whilst travelling here myself.) I answer smoothly, fighting the urge to smile at the frozen shock on everyones faces.

"You speak the tongue of the elves?" Aragorn asks in after a few moments of shocked silence.

"Yes, a friend taught me when I was young, the same friend who taught me to fight with sword and bow," I answer quietly turning my attention to the beautiful city in front of us.

Reaching the great building in the centre of the city I see a grand elf standing before us and the power he emirates almost makes me cower.

"Lord Elrond, this is Lady Peyson she is in need of healing, an arrow wound in her shoulder has become infected," Strider says and it is only at this moment that I suddenly feel the dull throbbing pain and the heat of my skin, I had forgotten about it completely in my wonder at Rivendell.

"Peyson, daughter of the Dunedian your coming here has been foretold," he says quietly at I notice Strider freeze beside me before moving away swiftly at a gesture from Lord Elrond.

"I…" I am suddenly speechless not knowing what to say to this majestic elf,

"Come let us heal you before we talk," he says and before I know it I have been treated, bathed and am drifting into a blissful sleep in the houses of healing.

When I awaken I feel more rested than I can ever remember feeling. I no longer feel any pain and look down I can see I have but a scar left marring my otherwise smooth and pale skin on my shoulder.

"My lady you are awake, how do you feel?" a female elf exclaims as she enters the room.

"I feel amazing," I say truthfully, smiling at her.

"That is good your companions have been very worried about you," she replies and I look at her in shocked silence.

"Oh, surely it has only been a few hours since I saw them last,"

"My lady you have been asleep these past five days," she replies smiling slightly at the shock that must be plastered across my face. "Now here is a dress for you to wear, bathe and then get dressed Lord Elrond has requested to see you," she says before placing a dress on the end of the bed and turning to leave. I sit for a moment in silence wondering over how my life has changed and what Lord Elrond could possibly want to see me about. I mean who was I? A penniless, plain, orphan. Although I think he may have me confused with someone else after all he called me by a name I had never heard of before so that may explain it.

"Lady Peyson it is good to see you looking so well," Lord Elrond smiles as I enter his study to see him standing with Strider by his side and several other people.

"Thank you," I say quietly ducking my head and giving a slight curtsey.

"Let me introduce you to my companions," he starts before two hobbits dart forward and embrace my legs,

"Lady Peyson we're so happy you're okay we were worried," Pippin says and I laugh as I dip down to hug them both.

"I assure you I am quite well, if a little embarrassed at my apparent laziness I cannot believe I slept for so long," I say and they all laugh and hearing a deeper chuckle I glance up and catch sight of Strider smiling at me.

"Of course you already know some of them," Elrond smiles, "this is Boromir Son of Denethor and captain of Gondor," he says gesturing to a tall and broad man with light hair and a stern look about him, he steps forward and bows stiffly looking at me somewhat dubiously. "Legolas son of Tharndril, Prince of the Woodland realm," a beautiful blonde elf steps forward and bows to me making my blush and duck another curtsy. "Gimli son of Gloin," I receive a grunt from the dwarf and try not to smile as I see Legolas roll his eyes. "and Frodo the only hobbit you did not have the fortune to meet before," the little hobbit smiles at me and I give him an awkward little wave before turning back to Elrond confused as to why I was meeting these people.

"And I my dear am Gandalf," an old man says stepping forward, "and I have been waiting a long time to meet you,"

"I don't understand, I think you must have me confused with someone else," I say eventually but I am quickly silenced and led to a chair and encouraged to sit down as the others all do.

"My dear child, let us start at the beginning, what do you know of the ring of power?" Gandalf asks and I can feel my brow crease further in confusion.

"Only what I was told in stories as a child and by friends who visited," I answer.

"It has been found Peyson, it is here and it must be destroyed," Elrond explains quietly and I gulp in order to stop myself from gasping.

"Those here in this room, all bar myself are the fellowship that has taken on the task of taking the ring to Mordor and destroying it,"

"Why are you telling me this?" I say quietly as I stare around at the grave faces,

"I would like you to accompany them," Elrond says and I see the elf, dwarf and the two men tense further, something flitting across Strider's face before a grim mask is back in place and I do the only thing I can think of to do, I laugh.

"I cannot, I… what could I possible do to be of advantage to this quest?" I ask eventually,

"You are stronger than you know Peyson," Elrond begins,

"I am not strong, I am not brave, I am useless," I cry standing abruptly as I interrupt him striding out of the room, feeling the burning of tears in my eyes and on my cheeks even as I hear the men protesting my inclusion in the quest.


	2. Chapter 2

I walk as far as I can away from that room until I find a small waterfall in a peaceful little glade of the forest where I sink down and pull my knees up to my chest sniffling occasionally as I berate myself for flying off the handle and showing so man emotions in front of strangers.

"Peyson?" Strider's voice is soft as he sits beside me and I quickly wipe away the tears still clinging to my cheeks and eyelashes.

"I promised myself I wouldn't be weak anymore, that I wouldn't cry anymore," I say quietly after a while and I feel him shuffling closer to me, his warmth radiating through into me as he sits close at my side and I feel safety too.  
"Sometimes it helps to talk to those you trust," he says,

"I don't know who I can trust anymore, everyone I have ever loved and trusted was taken from me," I reply hoarsely and I hear him sigh.

"You are right why should you trust me, I tell you what, I shall tell you my story and then you can decide if you want to share yours, if you do then we shall be each others confidant and friend," he says and I look towards him and hold his stare for a few seconds before giving a slight nod and staring back towards the water.

"Okay," I whisper after a while,

"You know me as Strider, here I am known as Estel but my real name is Aragorn," he starts and I swing my head round to stare at him in startled surprise and he nods, "yes that Aragorn, heir to the throne of Gondor although I turned from that path long ago, I was brought up here for a time. After my father died my mother brought me here but she too died not long after and so Lord Elrond took me in and took care of me,"

"Why do you turn from the path to Gondor?" I ask in a whisper when he pauses and he looks at me for a while before glancing down at the ring on his finger.

"I am afraid Peyson, afraid of the blood that runs through my veins, what if I too am weak like my forefathers?" he says and I instinctively reach over and grasp his hand gently in mine trying to offer him some comfort.

"I know what it is to be afraid," I whisper eventually and he uses his other hand to place on top of mine and squeeze back in the same gesture of comfort.

"Tell me Peyson, share your burden as you have allowed me to do," he says gently and I look up at him, his figure appearing blurry as tears once more fill my eyes.

"The orcs were so quick, we had no warning and I tried so hard to fight them off but I was shot and I was so afraid. I hid Str… Aragorn, it is my fault that my family and my friends are dead I should have been braver, I should have been stronger," I whimper and his arm is around me in an instant and although I initially stiffen I quickly relax into his embrace. It feels so strangely familiar, like coming home almost but I don't give myself time to ponder it much as I take a breath and decide to tell him the rest of my story. "When they had gone and I saw that I alone had survived I felt so much guilt, it made me sick to see them all lying there dead, because of me. I snapped the arrow off and I moved their bodies as best as I could to create a pyre and give them a funeral they deserved but I knew all along I had failed them," I sniffle as I break off and shudder as I try to stop myself from breaking down.

"Do you not see what bravery that is, oh little one to be so injured and grief stricken and alone and to still do all of that is the very definition of bravery," he whispers to me but I shake my head.

"You don't understand, I promised myself that I wouldn't be in that position again, that I would stop caring, I would be stronger and braver and I would never again have to watch those I care about perish but I failed for the second I met you all I knew I would do anything for you and the hobbits but I am not strong enough," I shudder again and he pulls me closer to him whispering words in elvish to me.

"Who taught you to fight and speak the tongue of the elves?" he asks quietly after a while and I give him a little smile as I glance up at him.

"A ranger, he was a great friend of mine and every time he stayed he would teach me and I would practice while I waited for his next visit,"

"That explains why you were so quick to trust me, most do not trust rangers so easily," he smiles in response and I giggle a little.

"What should I do Aragorn?" I ask after another long silence,

"You must do what you feel in your heart is right Peyson but never doubt your courage and strength," he responds and I stare at him for a while before nodding my head and sighing.

"I guess I have nothing else to do at the moment do I?" I say after a while and he grins in response as he stands quickly and offers me his hand.

"Come little one let us tell the others," he says quietly with a smile and I nod at him following him inside, noticing that he only drops my hand once we reach the door to the room the others are in.

"I'm sorry," I say as I enter and they all turn to look at me, "I should not have run off like that it was cowardly of me, I know not how much I can help you but I swear that I will lay my life down to protect you," I say and I feel Aragorn's hand briefly squeeze my shoulder.

Later that evening I am sitting quietly by the small lake again when I hear two people approaching and not wanting to speak to anyone I dart quickly behind a tree.

(Conversation in Elvish)

"You are attached to her already," a female voice says and as they come into the moonlight I see that it is an elf, a beautiful female elf and with her is Aragorn.

"She reminds me much of myself," he replies,

"That is not the reason," she says with an almost reproachful look.

"You doubt my love for you?" he asks reaching for her hand which she pulls away placing her's upon his cheek.

"Your love for me is but a dream Estel, I have seen the future and I am not part of it, she however… protect her," she finishes sadly and I suddenly feel like I am encroaching on a very private moment.

"You think I would not protect her with everything I have?" he sounds almost angry and I can't quite work out why as I watch them.

"That is not what I meant she will become very important to you to all of you but she is fragile," I am not fragile who the hell does she think she's talking about. I am so lost in my moment of internal ranting that I do not see their exchange end or him approaching me.

"Peyson why were you spying on me?"

"I wasn't," I reply immediately trying to cover my fright at him appearing in front of me so suddenly.

"Do not lie to me Peyson I thought we were friends," he exclaims almost angrily and I cower back from him, my heart aching at his sudden anger towards me.

"I am sorry…" I falter, "I didn't mean to, I was just sitting and I heard you coming, only I didn't know it was you and I didn't want to see anyone so I hid but then I couldn't get away without you realising I was there so I was kind of stuck," I finish looking at him desperately. For some reason I needed for him to be on my side, I needed him to not be angry at me and I couldn't understand why but I knew that is what I needed. He sighs heavily through his nose before linking my arm with his and pulling me back towards the guest rooms we were all staying in, except him because he had his own rooms here.

"You need to rest we set off in a few days and I want you completely healed and prepared, we shall test your skills with blade and bow," he tells me quietly as we walk.

"It is not late," I say and he smiles down at me,

"You sound like a child pleading to stay up later," he chuckles and I quirk an eyebrow,

"Well I am no child, I am to be thirty next year," I exclaim and he stops dead staring at me which pulls me to a stop too. "What is it? What is the matter?" I ask and instead of answering his hand hovers over my cheek for a second pushing my hair out of the way and making my skin tingle before he pulls me in the opposite direction and I have no choice but to follow until we crash through a door to see Lord Elrond and Gandalf sitting and conversing quietly in front of a small fire.

"She is of the Dunedian race," Aragorn states more than asks as the two stare round at us not looking in the least surprised.

"She is how did you guess?" Gandalf smiles whilst I stand beside Aragorn my hand still gripped firmly in his much larger one.

"She says she is to be 30 next year but I can tell she is much younger in both spirit and looks than a human of that age,"

"I am human," I say in a whisper and Aragorn turns to me and I see something in his eye, an emotion I can not quite pinpoint or understand properly.

"Peyson," Elrond says now and I turn to him as he beckons me forward but I am unwilling to let Aragorn go and with a tiny sigh he steps forward and sits allowing me to sit close beside him, his warmth a comfort to me which scared me in its own way, I was already too reliant on his presence.

"I don't understand any of this," I say in a whisper after a while trying desperately to control the quiver in my voice as I do so.

"You are a descendant of the Dunedian people Peyson, your mother and father were too, they hid amongst the folk of your village not long before you were born and had your village not perished they would have told you and moved away before the other villagers became suspicious about your lack of ageing,"  
"But… why?" the words are hoarse and strained as they leave me and I can't quite work out what I am trying to say, the world slowly beginning to spin away from me again like it did when my family were taken from me.

"For the same reason that Aragorn has remained hidden for so long child you have a destiny attached to you and a heritage that many would see stamped out for good," Gandalf adds and I swallow the lump in my throat as I try to come to terms with this new information.  
"What does it mean?" I ask eventually, my wide eyed fear reflected back at me in the reflection on the table before me.

"For now nothing at all my child, you will travel with the fellowship as you were always meant to and you will learn what you can from Aragorn," Gandalf replies and there is a sense of finality in his voice so I nod and stand up.

"What are you thinking little one?" Aragorn asks quietly once we are approaching the door to my room.

"Why do you call me that?" I ask, stopping outside the door and looking up at him.

"I… I am not sure it just seemed to suit you do you not like it?" he replies unable to meet my eye and a slight pinkness in his cheeks that makes me want to giggle.

"I think I do like it, it makes me feel like I belong again. Ever since my home was attacked I feel as though the world has been spinning away from me and I have been unable to right myself but you are like my something to keep my steady, does that make sense?" I can feel my own cheeks heating up as I say this and I stare resolutely at the ground in front of me.

"It makes perfect sense little one I will be here to keep you steady always," he chuckles and ruffles my hair slightly before turning away. I am left reeling from his words and I can feel my heart pounding nearly out of my chest. Slowly, I turn and enter my room my head still spinning my skin tingling and after a few minutes sitting on my bed I am to fidgety so move to my window sitting on the sill and staring out into the night. I had never experienced love before and I was beyond terrified that I was falling in love with the ranger. No, not a ranger the future king of Gondor, he would never… but he said that he would always be there for me didn't he? Sighing heavily I stare out into the darkness and it is then that I see him and I am about to call out or run out to him, I don't know why I just have a sudden urge to be near him again but just as I move to stand I see her too. The same beautiful elf as before and he is leaning forward and they are kissing. The pain in my chest is almost as powerful as the pain when I saw the bodies of my family. This is why I promised not to feel anymore, it hurts too much.

The bitter tears are still stinging my cheeks as I climb into bed and cry myself to sleep. What a stupid little girl I was to believe I could love and be loved so easily, how can I compete with elves? No, he was caring for me as a brother or father would a child, the clue should have been given when he started calling me little one. I had almost forgotten how wretched and empty I felt, he made me forget and now I felt it again and it was excruciating.

It is dawn when I wake up gasping for breath my body drenched in cold sweat as the lasting images of my nightmare still played hazily before my eyes. Before I can even calm my breathing the door bursts open and the elf who is part of the fellowship, Legolas I think his name was, and Aragorn are standing there looking worried.

"What is it?" I ask in concern as they stare at me my own concern reflected back at me in their eyes.

"You screamed out my lady," Legolas replies and I quickly bury my head in my hands in shame and embarrassment at having screamed aloud because of a nightmare.

"I am sorry, it was nothing," I say in a small voice,

"Little one…" Aragorn starts but the sting of his unknowing rejection of me is still too present so I cut him off.

"I am fine it was nothing just a bad dream, I'll be read shortly and then we can spar yes?" I say and they exchange a glance before nodding and leaving me alone. I wash quickly trying to calm my rapidly beating heart and the burning humiliation so visible still on my face.


	3. Chapter 3

As I enter the hall for breakfast I see the other members of the Fellowship sitting at a long table to one side and I make my way over to them greeting them politely as I sit beside Pippin and Merry at the other end of the table from Aragorn trying to ignore his glances in my direction.

"I see you intend to spar today my lady," Boromir says and I look up to see a slight sneer on his face as he says it.

"Yes," I reply shortly reaching for some bread.

"You should be careful I would not want to see a fair maiden injured so soon before we travel," he says and I am aware of the other conversations around the table halting as they turn their attention to my exchange with Boromir.

"You should not worry for me so sir, I assure you I am no fair maiden and I will do my best not to injure you if that is your concern," I reply smiling sweetly and grabbing a piece of cheese to go with my bread I stand up and walk towards the practise fields smirking wider as I hear the laughter behind me.

"Let us see what you are made of then," Boromir almost roars an hour or so later when he appears in front of my sword drawn and eyes flashing. I gulp inwardly for a second as I take in his clear strength and size advantage over me but then I breathe deeply and remember the teachings of my dear friend Hallebrad and draw my own sword. Our weapons meet with a resonating scrape of metal on metal and the fight begins. We dance around each other for at least an hour, sweat beading on my forehead as I duck his blows and parry others, him doing the same to me. By now the others have all gathered and I am pleased that they seem impressed, I am tiring though and so know that I must finish this before his sheer strength and stamina cause me to lose. So, ducking quickly I swipe his legs away from him with one of mine and as soon as he hits the ground heavily on his back I have my sword pointed at his neck smiling in triumph.

"The lass is mighty with a sword that's for sure," Gimli laughs and I offer Boromir a hand up which he takes before shaking.

"I apologise my Lady," he says once he is in front of me.

"What for?" I ask and he breaks into a wide smile,

"You are as you said no useless maiden I am only glad you are on my side in this fight," he laughs and so do I.

"Let us test your skill with the bow then My lady," Legolas says stepping forward and I smile at him.

"It is just Peyson I am no lady, just a village girl," I reply but he shakes his head stepping closer to me.

"I assure you, no village girl fights the way you just did,"

"Neither does a lady," I point out and he quirks an eyebrow at me.

"Then maybe we should find a new name for you, for you truly are unique," he smiles and I feel my myself flush with embarrassment as I stare fixedly at the floor.

"You fight as well as any ranger I have known," Aragorn points out and despite everything in me wanting to smile at him and move towards him I still feel too humiliated and I flinch away from him instead, noting the concerned look that passes between him and Legolas at my actions.

"Thank you my lord but you are too kind I still have a lot to learn," I virtually whisper before turning brightly to Legolas to dissipate the tense atmosphere that was suddenly surrounding me, "Shall we have a competition then?" I ask with a grin and he offers me an answering smile although I can still see the lingering worry in his eyes and it unnerves me. There is clearly not much I can hide from this wise old elf.

The day drifts by quickly, Legolas beats me easily although I do prove I have reasonable skill with a bow and I think I have at least eased their doubts about me accompanying them. By the end of the day I am exhausted and after quick meal I turn in and sleep for a few hours before the images of my village burning, my family dying force me awake.

This pattern continues for three more days before I give up trying to sleep and head outside to clear my head instead. My skin is still damp with the sweat that drenched me, evidence of the fear I had felt in my dreams, and it caused me to shiver as I picked my way to my favourite spot by the waterfall.

"My lady what are you doing out so late?" the voice startles me so much I stifle a scream as I spin round and jump to my feet.

"Legolas you scared me," I say after a second when I have regained control of my wildly beating heart.

"My apologies," he says with a tiny smile and signals for me to sit down again where he joins me.

"It's okay," I say after a second and he glances at me before staring ahead and we sit in silence for a long time.

"The nightmares still plague you," he states into the darkness and I nod, "why do you shy away from Aragorn when you seemed so close?" he asks and I open and close my mouth for a long time before formulating an answer.

"It is not fair for me to steal this time from him," I say eventually,

"It is funny you say you are not a lady and yet you insist on being noble at all times to your own detriment," he chuckles although there is no humour in it.

"I am not being noble merely truthful. He barely knows me and I have forced myself on him from the start, he should have some peace,"

"You think that is what he truly wants?" his question startles me and I look over at him to see his face virtually expressionless, giving nothing away, staring back at me, meeting my gaze steadily until I am forced to turn away.

"He wants to be with his love, I cannot monopolise his time any longer," I say stiffly.

"Ah, I see now,"

"No… I mean…" I stutter over my words before trailing off, "the truth is I don't know, I don't understand," I say and he moves closer to my placing a warm hand against my arm.

"Then talk to me about it and we can work it through together," he says quietly.

"But…" I start before being interrupted,

"We are a part of the same fellowship, it is our duty to help one another wherever we can now," he reasons and I sigh deeply before nodding my head.

"I'm scared," I admit eventually,

"What of?" he asks and I glance at him before staring forward again, watching the water and letting it soothe me.

"I lost everything I have ever known just over a week ago. I watched my family and friends die in front of me and I was not strong enough to protect them. I was left alone and I swore I wouldn't feel anymore, wouldn't care anymore so I couldn't hurt anymore. Then I met Aragorn and the hobbits, they saved me. I was dying from the arrow wound in my shoulder. I broke my promise Legolas I cared again. I couldn't stop myself and I'm so scared because I care too much I don't understand what I feel for him but I know it is too much. More than he could ever return and it hurts so I tried to distance myself but it is not working, I cannot sleep because every time I close my eyes I am haunted by the images of my family dying, I should not come on this journey I am too weak," I finish and am appalled to find that tears are coursing down my cheeks and before long I am hiccoughing soft sobs as I try to control myself.

"Shh, Peyson it is okay," Legolas says pulling me towards him and embracing gently.

"Sorry," I gasp out eventually, his arms still holding me close to him,

"It is nothing," he whispers,

"I thought elves did not like physical contact," I say after a while when I have gained control of my breathing and emotions again.

"What made you think that?" he laughs,

"I don't know they are always so distant and aloof I guess," I say after considering it for a moment.

"True we tend to save most of our physical and emotional contact for our families, our soul mates," he answers me and I nod before registering what he has said and whipping my head round to stare at him which makes him laugh. "However," he continues, "I have spent a great many years travelling with the rangers and visiting in human settlements, I believe the experience has changed me somewhat and I find myself more open to notions such as offering comfort to friends in distress," he smiles and then laughs as I let out a breath of relief.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" I ask nervously after another long silence.

"No Peyson it is your story to tell and no others but I will be a friend when you need one," he smiles and I smile back at him before yawning and shivering slightly.

"Come, you are tired and cold it is time for some sleep you need rest, we leave in two days time," Legolas says standing smoothly and pulling me up with him and pulling me towards the guest rooms.

"I'm afraid that I will have another nightmare," I whisper to him as I stand outside my door and he sighs pulling my hair away from my face slightly.

"Come I shall stay with you until you are asleep and watch over you to make sure you don't have anymore bad dreams and if you do I will wake you," he promises as he follows me into the room and waits for me to climb into bed before pulling a chair to the side of the bed and sitting down.

"What about your own sleep?" I ask once I am lying on my side facing him.

"Elves do not need much sleep I will make sure I rest though too," he smiles and I nod slightly feeling my eyes becoming heavy already with exhaustion and soon I am drifting into the first dream free sleep in days.


	4. Chapter 4

The sky is still dark and the chill of the early morning was heavy in the air as we stood together awaiting our departure. There was a darkness around us that had nothing to do with the sky however and a heaviness in my heart that I knew had no relation to the oncoming quest. I turn away as I see Aragorn exchanging words with the elf woman who Legolas told me was Lord Elrond's daughter, Arwen, my heart aching and tears stinging in my eyes.

"All is never as it seems Peyson you should speak to him," Legolas whispers to me and I shake my head quickly moving away to check on Bill the pony with Sam. Legolas had been urging me to speak to Aragorn since we had spoken but I could not bring myself to do it. It's strange Legolas and I have become very close and the past few nights he has stayed watching over me to make sure that I slept without nightmares and woke me if I did. However with just knowing he is watching over me I feel safe enough that my sleep is less disturbed. The only problem is that I still only feel truly relaxed and safe when Aragorn was beside me and I both feared and hated that feeling and prayed that it would go away.

We walk for days. Trudging across the endless, barren land barely talking and collapsing to the ground to sleep as night fell. The watches were divided between us although Legolas took many of them as he needed fewer hours sleep and they insisted that the hobbits and I rested more. I think we were holding them back and were becoming frustrated at our slow pace.

After travelling for so long I have lost track of time was rest for a break and some lunch at an outcrop of rocks. We have all become family at this point and I am feeling happier than I have in a long time. I feel as though I have found a new family, the Valar and my parents sending me to the fellowship so I was no longer alone and I loved them all. I still hadn't spoken to Aragorn much and it pulled at my heart but he seemed lost in his own thoughts a lot too so at least I wasn't the only one. My bad dreams had stopped too I'm not sure why or how, maybe just because I felt loved and safe again, I was no longer alone and despite the fact that we were on a dangerous quest that fact made me feel safe.

I sit on my own watching my new family go about their business with a small smile on my face. Boromir was sparring with Merry and Pippin whilst Aragorn sat smoking his pipe and offering tips to the two hobbits. Gandalf and Gimli sat further away talking earnestly to one another and Sam and Frodo were preparing the fire and the food. A slight touch on my shoulder makes me look up and I see Legolas standing over me offering me a brief smile before he bounds over some of the rocks to look into the distance.

"What is that?" I ask after a while turning to see where the others are looking,

"It is nothing just a wisp of cloud," Gimli grunts,

"It is moving fast and against the wind," Boromir joins in standing and moving towards me and I exchange a worried glance with him.

"Crebain from Dundland," Legolas shouts and for a second no one moves,

"Hide," Aragorn screams and then there is a flurry of activity around me but I cannot move, fear is pulsing through me as I feel scared for my family for the first time.

"Peyson," the scream penetrates my foggy mind and I start to try and move my numb limbs but stumble and fall hard onto my knees, the rock cutting into the soft skin there and on the palms of my hands.

Suddenly an arm is wrapped around my waist and I am lifted bodily off the ground and dragged under a rocky outcrop held tightly against a solid form. For a minute I cannot focus on anything, my heart is beating so fast and hard that I am dizzy and for the second time my legs buckle but the strong arms around me merely tighten and hold me up.

"Shh little one I have you," the voice breaks through my haze and in my relief to be in his arms my entire body sags against him. "What happened?" he whispers and I shake my head tears in my eyes as I turn and bury my face further into his chest.

"Aragorn they have passed," a voice calls sometime later and I pull myself away from him as quickly as I can trying not to see the hurt on his face as I do so and I walk quickly to Gandalf's side as he explains our new route up the mountain.

For days we travel relentlessly upwards and with every step the weather worsens and so do our spirits. My body is aching and tired and I have insisted on more watches so that the men can be prepared. This is only half true though as since the Crebain I have been nervous, realising I think for the first time that we could lose our lives on this journey, not that I was that concerned about my own it was the thought of once again losing those I care about that crippled me with fear. Worse than that though, worse than anything, the thing that kept me awake at night and plagued my dreams when I could sleep was the shame. The overwhelming shame that I had, once again, frozen in the face of fear and could have caused damage and even harm to be done to my new family.

"Frodo," the voice is sharp and panicked and I am brought quickly out of my daze to stare round and see Frodo tumbling down the steep mountainside in the snow. I leap forward but Aragorn is there quicker and catches him pulling him up and I breathe a sigh of relief until I see him frantically searching his neck and then the snow around him.

"What is it Frodo?" I ask,

"The ring…" he trails off and I follow his line of sight to see Boromir standing slightly ahead of us further up the slope and holding the ring on its chain. He seems so lost in his trance as he begins speaking that I am almost lost for a second too, I cannot hear the ring speaking but his expression makes me want to believe him although it terrifies me at the same time.

"Boromir give Frodo back the ring," Aragorn says and I can tell from his tome of voice that there is a level of threat there too but Boromir ignores him, barely even registering that he is spoken as he reaches with his other hand towards it. It is like there is a thunderous silence crowding in on us as his fingers edge closer to the tiny band of gold and I can feel my heart pounding erratically beneath my ribs.

"Boromir," I cry when I can take no more and like the sudden end of a dream sound crashes over us once more and he shakes his head.

"As you wish I care not," he exclaims shoving the chain and ring into Frodo's hand and then ruffling his hair, giving my arm a squeeze as he walks past. I stare down at my arm where he touched it and notice suddenly that I am gripping the hilt of my sword and as I glance up I see that Aragorn's eye's are fixed on the Gondor Captain his fingers also gripping his sword and they only relax when his meets my eye and offers me a grim smile which I return before turning away from him and walking on.

I don't really understand why I am avoiding him so much, I know I told Legolas that I was trying to save him from having to be around me all the time and that is part of it but the real truth is that I feel strange every time I am near him. I hate how safe he makes me feel because it is not just safe, it is like I will never feel truly safe without him there and that is more than a little unnerving because I know that when this is over he will go back to his beautiful elf maiden and I shall be left alone. I want desperately to be friends but I am afraid that I will fall in love with him, even as I think this I stifle a gasp, suddenly everything is clear that is the real problem I am scared I may be falling in love with him. I never was given any real guidance on love as I was sheltered from anyone who would be a viable option for me by my parents. Although thinking about what I know now that may be because they knew that I would age differently to them, that and all the boys or men in my village that were of the right age for me either disapproved of my training and fighting or were just too stupid for words and as someone with a thirst for knowledge this did not sit very well with me.

"There is a fell voice on the air," I glance up as I hear Legolas' voice drift down towards me and then see Gandalf move out towards the edge of the cliff shouting into to the wind.

"It is Saruman he is trying to bring down the mountain, we must turn back," Aragorn calls and turning to see him I see that both he and Boromir have two hobbits clinging to them as they attempt to carry them through the snow.

"No," Gandalf calls back stubbornly and he begins to chant into the howling winds. Suddenly a blinding sheet of lightning strikes the top of the mountain followed by the low growl of thunder which does not seem to end. I realise looking upwards that the thunder is not stopping because it is not thunder at all but rather the snow and rock making it's way towards at an alarming speed. Darting forwards I grab Gimli and shove him against the rock face as the first clumps of snow hit and then we are buried.

There is an almost blissful silence surrounding me as I blink snow out of my eyelashes and try to move but I can't. Then the panic sets in, I am trapped, crushed, the icy whiteness is everywhere, suffocating me. I try to use my fingers to dig myself out but already there are black spots dancing in front of my eyes as I run out of breath and I realise that I am about to die. On the side of the mountain, incased in a tomb of snow and ice, at least I tried to save Gimli hopefully he was okay.

I can feel my consciousness fading away from me as the pain in my lungs increases and I am unable to breath in fresh air. I can see the faces of all of the fellowship and my family flit before my eyes as I begin to give in and then a lightness as if the pressure is finally being released from my body and startling grey eyes as my eyes drift close and I lose the battle to stay focused and conscious.


	5. Chapter 5

Opening my eyes I immediately cough and splutter and move to sit up before a hand is pressed to my shoulder forcing me back to the ground.

"Stay still for a moment Peyson we need to make sure you are not injured," my vision is still blurry and I stay still for a second while I assess myself, I don't feel pain anywhere just the relief of being able to breathe again.

"I'm okay, I am not wounded just winded I think," I say after a while and I am suddenly being held tightly in someones arms.

"You scared me little one," he whispers into my hair and for a second I allow myself to relax into his arms in the way that my body and heart is always aching to do.

"I'm fine," I mutter back before pulling away and taking Legolas' hand stand up scowling at him as he smirks at me and even though I am cold to my bones I can feel a heat in my cheeks.

"We must get off this mountain Gandalf the hobbits are half dead with cold and Peyson is not far behind," Boromir begins,

"I'm fine," I interrupt but am soon shouted down.

"Please Gandalf we cannot continue like this," Aragorn shouts pulling Frodo back to him now that I am beside Legolas. I am shivering fairly violently now and despite my insisting that I am okay so as not to appear weak I can feel the coldness reaching for my bones as it seeps through me. A warm arm suddenly rests itself around my shoulders pulling me into his side and looking up I see Legolas smile down at me as he pulls his cloak further around my shoulders. How does he stay so warm? He is not even shivering and yet I am almost frozen solid at this point.

"Let the ring bearer decide," Gandalf orders and I am startled back into the conversation as I watch Frodo crease his brow in fear and concentration.

"We shall go through the mines," he says eventually and I feel my heart sink a little without knowing why.

"So be it," Gandalf sighs and my nervousness steps up slightly. Maybe it is just because I do not like the dark that much or because I have just very nearly died from being buried but I hate the idea of travelling through any underground place the very thought makes me shudder slightly.

Eventually we make it back down the mountainside but it is slow going. The paths are slippery and treacherous and all except Legolas spend as much time on our backs as we do on our feet as we slowly descend the cliff paths. My nightmares are getting worse again and so I am sleeping less and less to avoid people finding out. Legolas and I have come to a secret agreement that he would watch over me as he had back in Rivendell and wake me if I began to thrash around or make any noise. As we walk around the point I am confronted with a vast and blank cliff face set in front of a black body of water which is eerily silent and still. As Gandalf holds up his staff and chants something the clouds shift and move and I cannot contain the gasp as I see silver lines creep up and over the surface of rock eventually outlining a huge set of doors and words above it. The fellowship drifts apart as they sit down to rest and pass the time while Gandalf attempts to open the doors. Turning I see a flat looking rock and so taking off my pack I slump down quickly without taking off any of my weapons, I feel uneasy here and want to be prepared despite the fact that I am so tired that I can barely focus on anything as I drift in and out of a semi conscious state.

"Peyson," the voice cuts through my fog and I look up from my position sitting slumped over on a rock to see Legolas looking concerned in front of me.

"Sorry, just… I was just thinking," I murmur and he shakes his head sadly at me as he moves to sit beside me.

"Why will you tell no one? it is making you ill, you barely sleep at all anymore," he sighs and I give a little grunt before turning to him.

"You know why I cannot appear weak in front of them, I must stay strong,"

"Not in front of Aragorn," he cuts in and I give a little laugh at this.

"Especially Aragorn, he will leave me when this is over Legolas I cannot let my heart rely on him," I whisper, knowing that it was too late, that my heart already relied on him.

"I wish you would speak to him and learn the truth," he sighs and I give him a weak smile,

"I am fine do not worry about me, I am not important," I say and he shakes his head again and offers me a sad smile.

"You are more important to those of us in the fellowship than you realise Peyson, don't leave it too long," he says before standing and walking towards Boromir and Gimli.

"Do not disturb the water," I hear the panic in Aragorn's voice more than I understand his words and I instantly move away from my rock at the edge of the water to stand beside Gandalf just as Merry announces that it is a riddle.

"What is the elvish word for friend?" he asks and instantly Legolas, Gandalf, Aragorn and I speak up.

"Mellon," before I can even laugh about the fact that we had all spoken together a crunching nice alarms me enough that I jump back a little before I realise that it is the great doors opening.

"Well done Merry you are indeed a brilliantly clever hobbit," I smile and he beams up at me as we all move towards the cavernous blackness of the entrance.

"Soon master elf you shall experience the hospitality of the dwarves," Gimli is saying and I chuckle slightly to myself as I hear Legolas grumble something in response.

Stepping into the darkened entrance however the mood changes suddenly and apprehension fills me as try to adjust to the lack of light. Gimli is still talking about what a welcome we shall receive when I feel Boromir tense beside me.

"This is no cave it's a tomb," he says and I look down able to see somewhat for the first time and my breath catches in my throat as I see the piles of bodies, skeletons now, surrounding us. Images of my village fill my head and as if he knows it Aragorn is suddenly beside me his sword already drawn as Legolas bends to pull an arrow out of one of the dead dwarves.

"Goblins," he snarls throwing it down and making me wince as I take hold of my own sword and hold it out in front of me in shaking hands.

"Breathe little one I will protect you," he whispers and I relax a little despite myself and offer him a tiny smile.

"We should never have come here out, OUT," Boromir bellows but before I can move a dull thud beside me makes me wince and then the shriek makes me turn. I gasp out loud in horror as I see Frodo in the air being held by some sort of giant tentacle.

"Frodo," I scream his name before I realise it is me that has screamed and I dart forward before anyone else reacts cutting at the tentacle with my sword and screaming out in relief as he falls into my arms. Just as I am righting him on his feet however I am thrown to the side, a dull pain radiating slowly through my side.

"Peyson, are you alright? Are you wounded?" I look up to see Aragorn rushing towards me and I nod pulling myself quickly to my feet.

"I am fine, go to Frodo, help Frodo," I yell and he holds my eye for a second longer before nodding and rushing into the water letting out a battle cry as he cuts down a tentacle. I push myself quickly towards the entrance of the mine herding the other hobbits with me as I see Frodo fall into Boromir's arms and watch the two men rush towards us.

"Legolas," I cry as I notice he is still a way away from us and he glances at me shooting an arrow at the great beasts eyes and then rushes towards us pulling me in front of him as he swings so that his back is to the entrance and I hear the almighty roar of the creature as it pulls itself out of the water and towards us bringing down the entrance and effectively caving us in. Safe from it but at the mercy of anything else in here!

"Peyson, you are shaking are you well?" Legolas whispers as he grips me tighter still and I stare up at him for a few minutes while my eyes adjust to the darkness, blinking suddenly as Gandalf lights his staff and we are illuminated in the soft glow of white light.

"Yes," I nod pulling away from him as I hear a soft growl behind me only to come face to face with Aragorn who is staring at Legolas with a very odd expression on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

"Let us hope we go unnoticed it is a four day journey to the other side and there are fouler things than orcs living in these mines," Gandalf says grimly and I feel myself give a shudder,

"That is a cheery thought," I mutter and am startled slightly by the giggle beside me as I see Frodo slip his hand in to mine and give it a squeeze as we begin to walk and looking up again I see both Aragorn and Legolas smile at me.

The further we walk into these mines the more nervous I get and it is getting harder to stop myself from starting and worrying at every noise and turning.

"Peyson what is troubling you?" Legolas whispers to me as we walk at the back of the line on the third day.

"I do not like being here Legolas," I admit in a voice barely above a whisper knowing that he would hear me.

"I understand I too dislike being underground," he replies and I nod,

"My nightmares are getting worse again," I say even quieter, "It is like every time I close my eyes I see my parents dying, my village burning and then I see you too, all of you…" I trail off and let out a tiny sigh as we begin climbing another broken staircase and for a while I think he will not respond at all or maybe he hadn't heard.

"I am sorry you had to suffer the way you did Peyson but the Valar brought you to us and you have quickly become one of my closest and most valued friends I will not let you suffer again," he murmurs and then I feel his hand squeezing my shoulder slightly before we return to walking in silence.

By the time we settle down to rest for a few hours I am completely exhausted. I have no idea if it is night or day, for there is a constant night in these mines and it is draining me with each step I take.

"Get some sleep all of you I shall take the first watch," Gandalf says and without much fuss everyone slumps down and quickly falls asleep. I fight to stay awake but I can't keep my eyes open and I soon drifting off.

"Peyson," the voice is quiet and urgent and I sit up quickly panting for breath and grappling for my sword, "calm down my child it is only I," looking up as my eyes are able to focus on the figure in front of me I see Gandalf crouching before me worry creasing his brow.

"What is wrong?" I ask in a breathless whisper as I try to regain control of my heart rate and breathing.

"You were having a bad dream Peyson, it is not the first is it?" I shake my head at his question and sigh as he does.  
"Come sit with me," he says standing and moving back to his position away from the others and I follow meekly and silently behind him. "Who have you confided in?" he asks after a while.

"Legolas,"

"Not Aragorn?" he asks in mild surprise and I glance at him in confusion.

"No, why would I tell him?" I am aware as I say it how defensive I sound but it is too late and he is already chuckling quietly.  
"No I suppose you would see it as a weakness to confide in the one who has stolen your heart,"

"What? He hasn't… I mean I don't…" I can feel humiliation rushing through me at such a speed that it almost makes me light headed.

"Peyson I am an old man and I know far too much. I see in the way you look at him, whether you are willing to admit it or not that your heart is his,"

"It doesn't matter anyway," I say eventually in a tiny voice startled to feel tears prickling at my eyes.

"Oh my dear child you punish yourself so, do you not see how he cares for you too?" he asks and I give a tiny laugh here.

"He cares for me yes but not in the way my heart wishes I must distance myself from him to save us both the hurt,"

"I think perhaps you try to hard to save yourself from hurt and it only hurts you more, confide in him before it is too late Peyson," he says and I sigh again shaking my head a tiny bit before moving back to my stuff and settling down again when he tells me to. I could not sleep now if I wanted to, I had admitted for the first time that I was in love with Aragorn, I am not sure if I had even believed it myself before the words were out of my mouth. Now that they were though I knew I was in trouble, I could not hide it from him for long and Gandalf knew and I am pretty sure Legolas knew too if his hints were anything to go by. Maybe I could be friends with him again, after all if I truly loved him I will be okay as long as he is happy and if I remain close to him as a friend then at least I would still have him in my life. I sigh again as I toss and turn until the others begin to stir and eat a quick meal before we set off again.

"I have no memory of this place" Gandalf grumbles as he sits on a rock and the rest of us are left to our own devices whilst he tries to figure out what direction we should head in. Frodo soon moves over to talk to him quietly and Pippin and Merry are talking about food. I think for a while about what Gandalf spoke to me about and taking a deep breath I decide that maybe I should speak to him, try to at least be friends with him, slowly I push myself to my feet and take a step towards where he is leaning against the far wall of the area we have found ourselves in.

"Lady Peyson," Boromir intercepts me when I am half way there and I am half frustrated and half relieved at the distraction.

"Boromir how many times must I ask you to just call me Peyson I am no lady I have told you that," I smile at him,

"A few more times my lady I'm afraid for to me you are indeed a lady and a great one at that," he smiles in return and I find myself blushing at his comment and giggling a little.

"What is it that you wanted?" I ask and he gestures for me to sit and with a glance at Aragorn who is staring at me again with that strange expression that I don't understand plastered across his face I nod and sit beside him.

"I just wanted to ask how you were faring my lady," he says once I have turned to face him slightly.

"I am quite well although I will admit that I will be much happier when I can breathe fresh air once more," he smiles and nods at me.

"Ay, I understand that feeling very well," he grins and I am just about to make my excuses and go to Aragorn when Gandalf stands up and draws my attention.

"Ah it is this way,"

"He's remembered Pip," Merry mutters,

"No but the air does not smell so foul down here, if in doubt young hobbit always follow your nose," Gandalf smiles and I can't help the little giggle and then slight catch in my throat as I feel a warm hand at my back sending a wave of calm through me. Turning I see Aragorn smiling down at me and I offer him a shy smile in return.

"Hi," I say in a whisper and his smile widens slightly,

"Hello little one," he whispers back before increasing the pressure on my back slightly to indicate that I should move forward and so I do feeling safer just knowing that he is behind me.

We are descending now, slowly making our way down staircase after broken staircase until we eventually level out into what feels like a great open space.

"Let me risk a little more light," Gandalf says and I hear him tapping his staff to the ground before the soft glow of light begins to expand and I stifle a gasp at the sight I am met with. Vast halls with giant and intricately decorated pillars moulding into the arched ceilings. All carved from the rock of the mountain and all beautiful.

"Well theres an eye opener and no mistake," Sam mutters from beside me and I nod my head unable to reply as I gaze around in wonder.

"Little one come on," Aragorn's voice startles me out of my reverence as I feel his hand placing a slight pressure on my back again and see that the others are once again moving, walking through to vast halls.

"Sorry," I mumble my cheeks flushing and he smiles at me almost feeling his chuckle reverberating through him to me he is standing so close.

"It is quite something to behold is it not?" he says quietly and I open my mouth to answer but before I can there is a cry from ahead and I see the figure of Gimli darting away with the others following him. I throw a worried glance over my shoulder to Aragorn and then we are both running too.

When I reach the others I skid to a stop as I see we are in a small room with yet more skeletons littering the floor.

"… He is dead then it is as I feared," Gandalf is saying and I gulp trying to quell the feeling of apprehension that is building in me and concentrate instead on the thin beam of light making its way down from high in the back wall. Real natural light for the first time in days and despite the fact that it is casting a strangely eerie light across the bodies and dust in this room it is the most beautiful thing I have felt in days as I stand in it's path and close my eyes, blocking out everything else around me.

The crash is so loud I let out a little yelp so suddenly am I pulled from my mind. I spin round my sword already in my hand looking wildly from left to right for the enemy. It is only after a good two minutes I am able to calm my body enough to understand what was happening and I almost wish I hadn't. The drumming had started and was getting louder every second accompanied by the screeching of orcs, hundreds of orcs. Okay Peyson just breathe, you can do this just breathe. I repeat the mantra to myself several times while I watch the others rush around preparing for battle. Fear was thrumming through me so strongly it made me feel sick but I had to get control of it. I may be good with a sword and with a bow but I had only ever had to fight for my life once and it was not exactly a resounding success. In fact it was an abject failure, I was shot and everyone in my life murdered and the thought that it could happen again terrified me beyond anything I thought I could feel. Worse than all of that, the thought that Aragorn could be taken from me was almost too much to bear just thinking about it causes a lump to rise in my throat and tears to burn in my eyes.

"Get a grip Peyson," I whisper to myself.

"Peyson get back, protect the hobbits," Legolas shouts and I realise suddenly that this isn't about me, I had no choice but to get over it and protect them because I would save them, I would protect them in a way I was unable to with my family and my friends.

Legolas lets loose an arrow swiftly followed by Aragorn doing the same as the weapons of the Orc's make their first hole in the doors to the room which we had barricaded shut.

"It's okay Lady Peyson, we shall keep you safe," Merry says quietly to me and I look down smiling weakly at him,

"I think I am supposed to be protecting you," I say and he looks me in the eye for a second before smiling broadly.

"Then let us protect each other," he says and I nod before I see my own fear reflected back at me in his face as the orc's break into the room. Everything about them is grotesque, the smell, the way they look and the sound they make that sends chills down my spine. I cannot stop the scream that escapes me as the first one rushes towards me and I lift my sword only for it to drop to it's knees in front of me a familiar arrow in it's back, I glance up to see Legolas nod at me before launching another attack jumping into battle as though he belonged there. I shake myself and push myself forward ridding myself of all feelings and emotions and concentrating on killing the creatures that attacked me. Remembering only my training going through the emotions, attack, block, parry, attack, kill, block, parry, attack, block, the movements continue and I am unaware of anything else around me until I almost knocked off my feet as the ground moves so tremendously as the most terrifying creature I had ever seen barrels into the room.

Suddenly everything is a blur I see Boromir thrown to the side and I rush before him to kill the orc's advancing and then Legolas is on its shoulders and then my heart stops as I see Frodo in it's hand, him being dropped but caught by Boromir letting me breathe for a second again before I hear a sickening crunch and looking over see Aragorn lying motionless on the floor. I let out a strangled cry before I can stop myself as I rush to him not caring about the nick of a sword I feel catch my shoulder, killing as many of the horrific creatures as I can on my way to him.

"Aragorn, Aragorn please wake up," I cry urgently shaking his shoulder and almost wailing when he does not respond. I am vaguely aware of screaming behind me of, the resonating crash as the troll falls to the ground and then the most beautiful sound I had ever heard as Aragorn groaned in front of me and opened his eyes. "Oh thank the Valar," I whisper only just stopping myself from throwing my arms around him as his eyes flicker to me briefly before resting on something behind my shoulder and he lets out an almost inaudible whimper as he pulls himself to his feet somewhat unsteadily and staggers towards what I can now see is the body of a hobbit on the floor. I let out my own moan of grief as I see him lying there and move towards him too. How could I have let him down? How have I failed again?

"I'm okay, I'm not hurt," a small voice says and my legs almost give way, so complete is the relief I feel wash over me. A pounding in my ears is all I can hear for a moment as I blink away the tears that are rapidly gathering in my eyes.

"Come little one, we must run," the voice is so earnest I pull myself from my moment and look towards it where I see Aragorn already holding my hand in his as he attempts once again to pull me along after the others and this time I let him, running swiftly through the stone chambers our footsteps echoing loudly around us.

As we skid to a halt again Aragorn pushes me bodily behind him and I shamelessly cling to the back of his tunic for a moment as I watch the walls and ceiling become black with the bodies of orc's soon occupying every inch. There was no way out, we were going to die here and I hadn't told Aragorn that I love him.

"Aragorn," I whisper urgently, throwing caution to the wind and deciding that if I was about to die I would at least tell the man I loved that he held my heart.

"Little one?" he questions equally as quietly never moving his gaze from the orcs surrounding us,

"I needed to tell you that… if we are about to die I needed you to know that…" I am cut off suddenly by a rumbling growl that seems to reverberate into my very soul.

"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asks and I see fear in his face but it is not untilI turn to see the same fear in Legolas' eyes that I truly begin to tremble, if the elf is scared I knew we were in real trouble.

"A Balrog, a demon from the deep this foe is beyond any of you, run," Gandalf replies and we do not need telling twice. The orc's seem to be just as scared of the demand as we are and so our path is cleared for us as I feel Aragorn's hand once more wrap mine within it as he pulls me forward.

My breath is rattling in my lungs and I gasping for breath we are sprinting so fast and so soon after battle. Terror is singing in my veins as we negotiate the narrow, steep stairways until we reach a gap and Legolas leaps across it before turning for Gandalf. I gulp trying to stop the tears of fear from streaming down my checks but unable to. Before I even realise it there are only three of us left, Aragorn turns to me holding my face in his hands as I realise that my breathing is ragged and loud to my own ears.

"Peyson you must be brave for a little while longer, close your eyes and when you hear me say jump you must jump okay?" he says and despite the nausea that races through me at the mere thought I nod my head and close my eyes when he turns me to face the others. I breathe deeply and try to ignore the tingles that spread through me as his fingers grip my waist despite the situation and as he says jump I jump and for one heart stopping moment I thought I would continue falling but then strong arms are around me and my face is buried in a solid chest and I can do nothing other than shake and weep like a baby in relief as they grip me tighter. I can hear shouting and the dull thud of arrows hitting the side of the pathway but cannot move my head to look for the moment.

"Run, across the bridge," someone yells now and I an finally wrenched from the arms that held me to see Boromir staring at me for a second before he grabs me and pulls me forwards. somewhere along the way I drop his hand and am running alone until I hear Gandalf shout and Frodo scream and I stop and turn to see Gandalf facing the beast.

The heat from the Balrog is overwhelming as it approaches and its eyes are like two black holes into nothingness. A feeling of hopelessness encroaches on me with every passing second and the pounding of my blood in my ears means I can't hear what Gandalf is saying. Suddenly the beast attacks and I cover my eyes as Gandalf fights back with staff and sword, yelping in surprised relief as I peep through the gaps in my fingers to see the Balrog fall and Gandalf turn back towards us. Taking a step towards him a smile on my face I freeze as he is pulled backwards, for a brief second I think I have imagined it and then I dart towards him only to feel arms close around my waist. I scream and thrash and try to reach him but he is gone and I feel nothingness and grief wash through me so quickly I feel lightheaded.


	7. Chapter 7

Slumping against the body behind me I give up completely as I am dragged away and into a light so bright it almost blinds me. A light that ten minutes ago I would have given anything to see but now just makes the emptiness inside me feel worse. The arms don't let go of me for a long time holding me tight against the firm body as I cry, rocking me gently. Eventually I am let go and a coldness washes over me as I gaze blearily around watching the other members of the fellowship grieve. I turn to see Frodo looking so lost and alone that it breaks my heart even further and I stumble towards him even as I hear Aragorn calling his name. Collapsing to my knees in front of him I meet his eye and for a second we just stare at each other letting each other know that we are sharing the grief that is enveloping us and he lets out a tiny sob as he throws himself into my arms. I lift him into my eyes carrying him like I would a child, despite him being older than me by two years, and move towards the others trying to offer him what little comfort I could.

"Come let us move, we must reach cover by nightfall," Aragorn says and with that we are on our way.

"You can put me down now my lady," Frodo whispers after a while and I smile weakly at him.

"I am no lady Frodo how many times must I tell you if we are to be friends please call me Peyson,"

"You are already one of my greatest friends Peyson, I could not continue without you… you won't leave will you?" he sounds so nervous and heartbroken it nearly stops my heart as I come to an abrupt halt and setting him down kneel in front of him.

"Frodo I swore to protect you, nothing will keep me from upholding that promise," I say earnestly as I hold him by the shoulders and force him to look at me.

"I know I just needed to be sure," he sounds almost guilty and I offer him another small smile.

"That is understandable my friend we have suffered such a great loss today and his sacrifice shall not be forgotten, we shall fight harder because of it," I say and he offers me a watery smile in return before taking my hand as I stand and we head after the offers. I can see them not too far ahead of us and see that Aragorn has paused to check we are still following and that familiar aching to be near him to be in his arms fills me once more.

Frodo and I catch up the the others just as Gimli is saying something about being as sharp as a fox but before I can ask him what he is talking about there is an arrow pointed at my temple and another at my chest. Moving as steadily as I can I push Frodo behind me, trying to keep him safe but it is to no avail we are surrounded and I know from spending even a little time with Legolas, how deadly elves are. Blood is pumping heavily through my system at this point and I can feel pain in my shoulder for the first time since I received the wound, I'm not sure what is happening to me a moment ago I was fine I was not injured other than a tiny nick I received in the battle before but I feel suddenly woozy and I can barely focus on what is being said. Maybe it is just the shock finally catching up with me, yes that must be it. I attempt to shake my head to clear my thoughts but this action causes my legs to give way and I crash to my knees bringing the attention of everyone present to me.

"Peyson," Frodo says in alarm by my ear but I shake my head.

"Mm… fine, just… bit dizzy," I manage pulling myself to my feet again but only managing to stand for a couple of seconds before I feel myself crumpling again strong arms catching me before I hit the ground.

"She is burning with fever," Boromir says as he pulls a hand quickly away from my forehead and I realise that it is he who has caught me.

"Little one were you hit? Were you wounded in the mines?" Aragorn asks kneeling in front of him and his open concern makes me want to cry because it gives me false hope which makes me ache inside.

"Shoulder… just a scratch," I reply thickly and then there are hands pulling me onto my side and the sound of my tunic being ripped.

"It is not deep but the blade was poisoned, come we can heal this and she will be well by morning," that is a voice I do not recognise but before I can question it I am being lifted and my head is buried against someones chest. I don't need to ask who I can tell by the smell it is something that is uniquely him and even in my apparently delirious state it makes me unfeasibly happy and devastated at the same time to be held like this by him, I only wish I had my senses so I could remember this properly, then at least I'd have something to hold onto if I survived this war.

I wake to the feel of fingers brushing the hair away from my face and I sigh as I open my eyes and feel them widen slightly in surprise as I see Pippin and Merry sitting beside me, Merry gently stroking my hair whilst they both look over at something happening a little further away.

"My mother used to wake me this way," I whisper and they both look down smiling happily at me.

"Peyson you're awake," Pippin exclaims loudly enough that all the other sounds around us stop and I am suddenly surrounded by the members of the fellowship and a few elves I do not recognise.

"You are stronger than I had imagined," one of them says and I gaze up at him in mild confusion and apprehension.

"Peyson this is Haldir, March Warden of this realm, it is he who has healed you," Legolas explains.

"Then I am in your debt," I say as I push myself to a sitting position, wincing slightly as a small pain shoots through my shoulder.

"You should rest some more, we leave in the morning for Caras Galadhon," Haldir says in reply and I nod as Aragorn and the others seem to breathe a sigh of relief before settling down, I catch Legolas' hand before he can move away and he turns back to me.

"What is it my friend?" he asks gently and I offer him a small smile.

"I… can you stay close… if I… I mean just in case…" I trail off embarrassed to ask within hearing shot of others.

"I will watch over you just as I always do, at least until you confide in others too," he says and I nod before laying down and closing my eyes once more. My night is plagued with nightmares and I wake up gasping for breath to see Legolas crouching above me at least three times.

"I have told them it is just the fever leaving your system." he whispers to me when he notices me looking towards the elves that have also heard and seen me toss and turn. I offer him a weak smile at this and turn to sleep again exhaustion washing over me like waves.

The next time I wake I feel much more refreshed and after a moment realise that it is Aragorn who has woken me.

"What is it?" I ask immediately and he smiles a little at me,

"Nothing is wrong little one but we must be moving if we are to reach Caras Galadhorn before nightfall," he replies quietly and I nod my head moving to stand only to waver on my feet a little as my head swims. His arm is around my waist instantly, pulling me into his side and steadying me, and making my skin prickle at the contact even through our layers of clothing. "You are still weak little one you must be careful until you are fully recovered," he admonishes gently and I huff out a sigh in reply.

"And when will that be exactly, we surely must be on our way soon and I have promised Frodo I will not leave him and yet I cannot continue knowing that I would be a burden?"

"Calm yourself little one, you were never and will never be a burden to us or this quest, we will rest here for a time. We all need to recover, we will not leave until you are well," he finishes and I smile at him gratefully as Haldir approaches us.

"The dark must be blindfolded," he says shortly and at once the tension around us is almost palpable as Gimli steps forward to argue.

"Then we shall all go blindfolded," Aragorn replies and I cannot help the tiny smile, he may not know it but he is a natural leader already, he is king and he does not even know it.

"And what of the girl? She can barely stand or walk alone as it is," Haldir replies and Aragorn observes me for a second before replying.

"I will carry her,"

"What? No. You can't…" I start before I am interrupted,

"I will carry her Aragorn," Legolas announces, "I will not let her fall my friend," he adds when Aragorn looks ready to interrupt him.

"Hello I am still here and I'm not a doll," I say in infuriated embarrassment.

"I like her," Haldir muses quietly and I look at him in sudden shock,

"I can walk," I add stubbornly.

"Nay, you are recovering more quickly than I could have hoped for but you are still weak," Aragorn says and I almost growl in frustration.

"The sword barely touched me," I almost yell,

"And for that we must be grateful as any deeper wound would surely have been much more deadly,"

"But…"

"No more arguments we must move and you cannot walk so Legolas will carry you," Aragorn says in such a stern voice that I flinch back slightly, stung by the anger in his voice. I think better of arguing this time and so nod my head slightly and turn to Legolas who offers me a tiny smirk before pulling me into his arms and lifting me as if I weighed nothing more than a handful of leaves. A blindfold is placed firmly over my eyes and I spend the next few hours trying not to fidget too much in his arms.

When we finally reach the city and my blindfold removed I am so awed by it that I barely even notice Legolas momentarily putting me down as the blindfolds are lifted off of the other members of the fellowship and Aragorn appearing beside me.

"It is beautiful," I murmur and he squeezes my hand briefly to let me know he agrees with me before lifting me into his arms. "What are you doing?" I ask in shock trying to cover the fact that my body had immediately responded to his close proximity.

"Legolas needs a break and wanted to speak with his kin and we still have a way to walk and before you think to argue we are to meet the lord and lady of this wood before we do anything else and you do want to appear weak to them do you?" he asks with a glint of triumph in his eyes as he does so. I hate how he knows he has won and how much I love that look on him, how much I love any look on him so instead I sigh and nestle down slightly to get more comfortable trying not to blush as I hear him chuckle.

When we reach the top of the stairs and are standing in a vast room lit softly so that it appeared to almost glow of its own volition Aragorn sets me gently on my feet keeping a hold on my arm to keep me steady. It is ten that I look up and see the two most beautiful beings walking towards me. This man and woman so surpassed any ideas of beauty there was almost no words to describe them, they glow with some sort of calming energy and they both radiate power so strong it almost knocks me backwards, it may well have done if Aragorn's grip on me wasn't so strong.

"Nine there are here and yet there were ten that set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him," I feel my breath hitch as soon as he says this and I fix my eyes on the floor trying desperately to stop the tears that are gathering in my eyes.

"Take heart child, not all is as it seems and you will play such a vital role in this quest," her voice is in my head and as I glance I up, stifling my gasp of shock I can see that she is talking aloud to the others but her voice is in my head. How can that be? I try to decipher what she has said but it makes no sense to me. I shift again when I notice Boromir fidgeting uncomfortably and looking fixedly at the floor.

"Go now and rest you are safe here," Galadriel says and we turn, all of us seemingly in a daze of sorts, and made our way slowly down to the forest floor. I am unsteady on my feet again by the time we reach the forest floor and so exhausted from the overwhelming emotions flying through me at increasing speed that I don't even complain when I feel an arm wrap around my waist and instead just lean into the support and slump down heavily as the figure lowers me to a bed of sorts.

"Rest little one, you need to sleep in order to recover," Aragorn's voice washes over me and I nod slightly my eyes already shut.

The nightmare is worse than ever. Since Galadriel spoke to me I had been trying to work out what she meant and now I dreamt the most awful things. I saw my parents die, my friends die, as I did every night, watched the life slip from their eyes while I stood by doing nothing and then I sae the fellowship die as I had done recently in my dreams. Only this time I was standing there as Aragorn was killed I could have saved him and I did nothing. I was standing on the wall when he fell, I watched as the orcs approached him I watched as they surrounded him as the others tried to reach him and I did nothing, I turned and watched as they murdered Haldir and then Legolas and Gimli, I watched as Aragorn was taken from me as he pleaded with me to help him and I did nothing. This time I scream out as I wake and sit up, sweat drenching me and tears already coursing down my cheeks as I try to control my shaking.

"Peyson?" the voice is soft and worried but as I glance up and see his eyes so full of concern and all I can see is him asking me for help as I watched him die. A sob forces its way from my throat before I can stop it and I stumble away from him staggering as I push through the trees until my legs finally give way and I crumple to the floor sobbing as I feel him embrace me and I try to push him away but his grip tightens and he whispers comforting words in my ear.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I gasp out eventually and he finally lets go of me and we sit instead side by side.

"What do you have to be sorry for Little one?" he asks but I shake my head and we sit in silence for a long time until I am calm enough to breathe normally.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away," I say in a whisper eventually,

"Why did you?"

"To protect myself… to protect you," I shrug.

"What were you protecting yourself from?" he persists and I sigh again before offering another shrug.

"Being hurt, every night I dreamed of you all dying, dreamed of losing you again I was protecting my heart I already told you I tried to stop caring but I couldn't,"

"I never knew,"

"I know I had a deal with Legolas we… he would wake me if I ever started to show I was having bad dreams," he sighs heavily at this and I feel suddenly and inexplicably guilty.

"And tonight?" he asks at length.

"I saw it all again but it was worse, I was there, I stood there and I did nothing, you all died and I did nothing I just stood and watched. Galadriel spoke to me today she said that I had an important part to play in this quest but I just watched you die what if that is my role to help him him win?" I ask hating the way my voice shook as I ask him and his face is so full of concern for me that I feel more tears falling before I have a chance to stop them.

"Oh little one you are important and it was just a dream we all know you would not leave us to suffer. I know what you did in those mines Peyson I know how you received that wound," he whispers and I look at him in shock.

"How?"

"Legolas saw he told me, you did not see the sword that wounded you because you were trying to protect me," he replies staring at me as if challenging me to argue but I don't I just shrug.

"I'm sorry," I say again and he chuckles a little at this before wrapping an arm suddenly around my shoulders and pulling me into his side.

"Stop apologising little one, I would just like my dear and trusted friend back," he says and snuggle further into his warmth in reply.

"Me too," I whisper, oh and I am completely in love with you and would very much like to kiss you every time I am near you and marry you and have your babies, is what I would like to add, but I don't I just nod and relax into his embrace.


	8. Chapter 8

We spend a month in the calm safety of the woods and I have been training hard every day since I recovered fully three weeks ago and this morning we are leaving safety and once again setting out on our journey.

"Come Peyson let us get to the river the Lord and Lady of the wood are waiting for us," Legolas' voice cuts through my reverie as I stand in the clearing we had made home for the last month staring up at the trees and saying goodbye.

"Sorry I was just…"

"Saying goodbye to the trees," he says smiling and I shake my head slightly offering him a small smile.

"Saying goodbye to peace, I feel that we are heading into greater danger than we have faced yet," I answer and he nods.

"I feel it too," he responds softly before taking my arm and leading me onwards.

"I'll take your pack Peyson," Frodo offers smiling and I smile too sensing that he needs the distraction so I take off my pack and give it to him waving at Merry and Pippin as they see me and wave madly at me from their position in one of the three boats resting there.

"They have grown very fond of you," Aragorn mutters in my ear and I turn smiling slightly at him.

"And I of them," I answer before he drags me to the line forming in front of the boats as the elves approach us.

"Never before have be dressed strangers in our garb, let us hope that these cloaks will shield you from unfriendly eyes," Lord Celeborn says and I bow my head in thanks as the others do glad for the automatic warmth offered to me by the surprisingly soft fabric of the cloak as an elf fastens it around my shoulders. Galadriel then steps down towards us and moves along the line gifting us presents to help us on our quest. To Legolas she gives a new bow which is beautiful, the most beautiful bow I have ever seen and his reverence makes me beam too. She then gives Merry and Pippin ornate little daggers and Sam some rope at which point he asks for a dagger which makes me stifle a giggle, feeling immediately guilty and embarrassed as everyone turns to look at me until I catch Galadriel's eye that is and see her offer me a small smile which I return fully. I'm not sure what she gives Gimli for he is whispering to her and I have been distracted once again by Frodo who is standing next to me and looking worried.

"Frodo do not worry we are all here with you and we shall be to the very end," I say in a whisper and he looks up reaching up to take my hand in his.

"I know you will Peyson but I still fear what lies in wait once we leave the safety of these woods,"

"I do to Frodo but we shall face any dangers together and be stronger for it," I add giving his hand a squeeze before letting it go as Galadriel approaches Aragorn who is standing on my other side.

"I can give you no greater gift than that you already have," she is saying and I notice something flicker across his face as I shift my gaze and try to control my breathing as pain shoots through my chest suddenly.

"Peyson my child," I look back up startled to see Lady Galadriel in front of me now and holding my gaze steadily. "For you I have two gifts," she says and I open my mouth a little to protest but she holds up a hand to stop me before holding out a beautiful elven made sword. "I hope this sword will bring you luck and help both you and those around you in battle,"

"Th… thank you so much," I stutter as I take it from her and admire it.

"My second gift," she starts pulling my attention back to her, "this is a gift that I hope will bring you some peace, the dreams you have been having I believe that your bloodline has some of the sight in it but there is not time to train you or investigate such claims at this time so in order to keep you hidden from the eye of Sauron wear this always," she says handing me a necklace which I take in shaking hands nodding my thanks unable to speak as I take in all she has said to me.

Feeling a pressure on my arm I look up to see Aragorn trying to get my attention,

"It cannot be true," I whisper to him almost as if I am asking him to make it not true, to make my life the simple thing it used to be.

"The lady sees many things that we do not," he answers me giving me a sad smile and I shake my head,

"I am not the person you all seem to think I am, I am not special I am just a village girl who may live longer than others that is all," I say shakily and he shakes his head at me.

"That is not true Peyson, I do not believe that to be true," he says, "now come we must be leaving now," and he pulls me towards the river again lifting me and settling me into a boat with Merry, Pippin and Boromir and I am in so much shock still I don't complain, I barely even notice so lost am in my own thoughts.

It is nearly three days before I feel I have come back to myself and I know that the others have all been worried about me. The only good thing is that with Galadriel's necklace on at least the nightmares are no longer there, I can sleep at last without fearing that I will wake everyone, put us in danger or relive the worst moments of my life.

We are camping beside the river as Aragorn has decided that we are far enough ahead of any enemies to rest for the night and he thinks that tomorrow will be our last day on the river before we must set off on foot again.

"I will take first watch," I announce quietly when we have finished eating and they all look up at me before nodding and settling down to sleep. It is not long before I feel him approach me and sit beside me, his pipe resting between his lips as he silently watches me.

"How are you little one?" he whispers eventually.

"I'm scared Aragorn," I admit after staring out across the river for a while,

"I know, we all are, if I thought I could persuade you I would have asked you to stay in the safety of Lorien," he sighs and I look up at him quickly,

"You don't want me with you?"

"You know that is not what I meant Peyson," he replies.

"Sometimes I wish I could go back to before when my life was easy when everything makes sense," I say in a tiny voice and he looks over at me again for a long time before answering me.

"I wish that it were," he says and I nod giving him a watery smile.

"You should get some rest," I say after a while and he smiles again, "I will wake you for your watch soon enough and you shall be glad of the rest I gave you," I add and he gives a soft chuckle at this before nodding and standing and resting his hand on my shoulder. He lifts his hand and suddenly tucks a stray strand of hair gently behind my ear which makes my breath hitch and for a second I think that I am dreaming and he will kiss me but he doesn't he just smiles and then leaves, my skin burning where his fingers had touched it and my heart thudding loudly in my ears.

By the next afternoon I think I have just about got my heart rate back under control and as we pull the boats to shore I focus my attention on the hobbits and especially Frodo who seems more weary than ever. I feel quite guilty actually I promised to be there for him and all I have done is worry about myself. As I approach him I can hear Sam trying to convince him to eat something and so I decide to chip in and help.

"Frodo do not tell me you are turning down Sam's beautiful cooking you shall make me worry if you do not eat," I say gently as I sit down beside him and he looks up at me and I see the glimmer of a sad smile cross his face as I give him my best pleading stare.

"You are right Peyson, as always, I am sorry Sam I should love some," he says eventually and I relax a little while Sam visibly relaxes and shoots me a silent thank you before handing Frodo a bowel of soup. I sit with them for a while before my attention is drawn by Merry and Pippin for a while when Sam has gone to wash up the pans.

"Where is Frodo?" Sam asks as he walks back towards me and I spin around to see him gone from his spot beside me.

"Boromir is gone too," my blood runs suddenly cold as I hear the words and fear fills me as I stand up and gaze around seeing similar worry in the faces of Legolas and Aragorn. Before either of them can say or do anything my bow is on my back and I am sprinting through the forest looking for them both. I feel as if I am running for hours before I hear a cry to my left and changing direction burst into a clearing by some ruins to see Boromir on top of Frodo trying to wrestle the ring away from him.

"NO," I scream launching myself at them both and somehow managing to push Boromir from Frodo freeing him. Boromir rounds on me and I can see in that moment that he is no longer himself, his eyes are empty and dead and he is only aware of the ring. It has taken him.

"Whore," he bellows launching himself at me but I manage to use my slightness to my advantage and deflect him.

"Use the ring Frodo, RUN," I scream when I see Frodo watching us in shock,

"You would use it for yourself," Boromir spits from behind me and as I watch Frodo disappear I feel the full force of Boromir as he lands on me, crushing me to the ground and knocking the wind from me somehow I push him off me and try to run but I am winded and he is behind me. He grabs my hair making me yelp in pain and surprise as he pulls me back smashing my head and the side of my face into the rough bark of a tree. I feel instant nausea rise in me as my head spins but before I can focus on anything I feel his fingers around my throat and my feet lifted from the ground as he chokes me. "You tried to steal what should be mine whore," he growls as I gasp for breath.

"Bor… Boromir this is… is… not you," I struggle black dots beginning to dance in the corners of my vision as he cuts off my air.

"I… Oh Valar what have I done?" he whispers as his fingers loosen and I slump to the ground,

"It… was not… you," I say my voice hoarse and strangled he crouches in front of me now is face so full of guilt and remorse that I want to cry for him.

"Peyson I am so sorry," he whispers.

"As I said not your fault," I mutter trying my best not to let him see how much pain talking causes me, how close he came to killing me. The black spots in my vision have not quite faded and the pain in my head is intense to say the least.

"I nearly…" before he can say anything else though we both start as we hear Merry and Pippin cry out and the unmistakable sound of the enemy charging and looking at each other in petrified determination before setting off at a sprint.

I am just behind Boromir as we run, every breath burning in my lungs my throat and head making me want to just lie down and sleep but I shake it away. I must save them, I must not let any harm come to them. As we burst into another smaller clearing amongst the trees I see both Hobbits unharmed and nearly let out a sob of relief which is quickly replaced with a whimper of terror as I turn slightly and see creatures unlike any I had seen before charging towards us. They are huge, much bigger than the orc's we had faced in Moria and uglier tonal I was guessing a whole lot stronger and smarter at fighting if their weapons and communication was anything to go by. I watch Boromir charge in front of the Hobbits and letting out a battle cry begin to cut them down and swallowing I quickly join him pulling out my sword and letting my muscle memory take over as I engage them.

"Boromir there are too many," I cry out hoarsely as I am thrown off balance by a particularly aggressive Uruk Hai and he throws a knife at the best before it can finish me off and then puts the horn of Gondor to his lips as I scramble to my feet turning back to attack another one.

"Boromir," the cry makes me turn and I scream as I see the arrow in his chest he looks up at me in shock and then stands and bellowing throws himself back into battle but a second later another arrow finds its mark in his shoulder. This time it takes him some time to get back to his feet and I almost miss several attacks as I stare at him only just surviving myself. I step towards him but before I can get anywhere near a third arrow hits him and he does not get up from where he finds himself swaying on his knees. I am crying now as I fight my way towards him, twisting as I hear the cries of Merry and Pippin and I watch them being carried away. I couldn't save them, any of them. I had failed them all and there were too many. They seem to be ignoring me as the rush past me now and I stand not knowing what to do until I see the huge beast that had shot Boromir approach him and raise his bow. I cannot leave Boromir to die like that not when he had fought so bravely and as I scream out and rush towards him I am reminded of what must be less than half an hour ago when I was doing the same to Boromir. I knock the crossbow from his grip and distract him from Boromir as he throws me to the ground.

"Stupid girl," he snarls as he advances on me and I scramble to my feet holding out my sword.

"You have killed my friend and taken two others very dear to me for that I will kill you," I say proud of how steady my voice is as I do so. He simply laughs at me cruelly before striking at me, I manage to block his blow but my whole arm has shock waves sent down in from the force of his attack and I suddenly realise that I am about to die, there is no way I can beat this thing. I let out another cry as I run at him again but am caught off guard as he catches me around the throat and I am lifted from my feet by my throat for the second time in less than an hour.

"I shall have fun with you," it growls before launching me across the clearing where I land painfully unable to hold in the whimper as I try to roll over the fuzziness in my head not fading and the black spots growing larger. I am just about able to focus of the metal clad feet moving towards me and hear the menacing laugh pierce through the ringing in my ears before blackness engulfs me and I am lost to blissful unconsciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

I groan as I once again become aware of the things around me and the pain my body is in.

"Peyson, are you well? Where are you hurt?" the voice washes over me and for a moment I do not answer as I just struggle to open my eyes and piece together the events that led to me being here.

"I… I," my voice is hoarse and it hurts to talk and suddenly like someone opening a curtain the memories of the fight come flying back to me and I sit up quickly my eyes flying open, "Pippin and Merry, they took them…" I trail off again as I see Aragorn standing over Boromir's body before quickly wiping away his tears and approaching me. "I wasn't strong enough… I failed again,"

"What are you talking about little one?" he asks in concern crouching in front of me while Legolas and Gimli silently set about getting Boromir's body ready for us to say farewell.

"I should have saved him but I wasn't strong enough," I whisper.

"He tried to kill you little one," he says and I look up at him in shock, "Frodo told me, how you saved him how you fought Boromir off, how he tried to kill you,"

"It wasn't him though, the ring had taken him, he wasn't himself," I say immediately and he gives me a tiny sad smile.

"Peyson you did what you could…"

"I wasn't strong enough though," I interrupt and am aware of almost sulking as I argue with him and he gives a frustrated little sigh in response to my words.

"Stop underestimating yourself Peyson, you are a strong and skilled fighter. You managed to survive this fight despite being injured and before you say you are not you should see your face and head as I do now…" I open my mouth to respond but he holds a hand up to me and so I shut it again and wait for him to finish. "Frodo told me little one, you were bleeding heavily from a head wound and those bruises on your neck are from Boromir," he replies and I hang my head slightly.

"I tried to fight him off but was scared to pull my sword as I didn't want to hurt him and with hand to hand he was just too strong,"

"No one is blaming you little one I am just sorry I wasn't there to protect you,"

"It is not your job to protect me, you should be protecting Frodo I should be protecting Frodo. Where is Frodo?" I ask suddenly as I look around and see that neither he nor Sam are with us.

"He has gone," Aragorn sighs and I jump to my feet despite the dizziness washing over me and only slow in my frantic movements when Aragorn pulls me back down and forces me to look at him. "Sam is with him, our path no longer lies with them,"

"But I promised Frodo I would look after him," I say staring at him and he smiles slightly again reaching up to pull some hair away from my face which makes me shiver slightly in spite of everything.

"He knows he told me to tell you that he understands and that you better be there to see him when this is all over," he says and I offer him a watery smile in response.

"So what do we do now?" I ask in a whisper and notice that Legolas and Gimli are beside us again.

"We say goodbye to Boromir and then we hunt for our friends, we shall not leave Merry and Pippin to that fate," Aragorn says and I nod.

"You mean not to follow Frodo and Sam?" Legolas asks and Aragorn shakes his head.

"Then we have failed and the fellowship is broken," Gimli sighs heavily.

"Not while we still have each other," I say quietly and they all look at me for a while before nodding.

"Come let us say goodbye to our friend and then hunt some orc and kill them for him," Aragorn says lifting me gently to my feet.

"We should tend your wounds," Legolas says sometime later as I run breathlessly beside him but I just shake my head at him.

"No time… later," I gasp out and he sighs before speeding up again slightly to run with Aragorn ahead of me. I think I may die soon if we do not stop to rest I don't understand where all their energy comes from. I mean Legolas fair enough he is an elf and all that but Aragorn, we are supposed to be the same sort of, so how is it that I feel like I am going to collapse at any moment and he looks like he still has limitless energy.

"What is it?" I gasp out as I see Legolas and Aragorn stop in front of me.

"Not idly to the leaves of Lorien fall they may yet be alive," Legolas murmurs and I feel hope surge through me as I smile down at them.

"You are tired little one maybe we should rest," Aragorn whispers to me now standing in front of me his handing on my cheek as he examines my face.

"I am fine we cannot stop now," I say stubbornly and he gives a short nod after staring at me for a moment longer and then moves off again with Legolas talking to him quietly in elvish so I cannot hear what they are saying while I wait for Gimli to catch up. The poor dwarf, I was struggling but he was really having trouble keeping up with everyone.

"Come Peyson, Gimli, we are gaining on them," Legolas calls suddenly and I feel a surge of energy rush through me as I sprint towards them looking over my shoulder every now and again to check that Gimli is still within sight.

We had been running for three days, with no sleep and very little rest and I was running on empty. My wounds were beginning to become infected too and I know that I need to get them treated soon if I was to avoid serious illness but I didn't have the heart to stop Aragorn or Legolas, they were both so desperate to find Merry and Pippin and seeing as I still held myself partly responsible for them being taken in the first place I wanted to, no I needed to not be the one that held us up.

"What do you see Legolas?" Aragorn calls pulling me from my thoughts as I once again come to a halt gasping for breath and wavering on my feet with exhaustion.

"Riders heading this way," he replies and I am suddenly pulled behind some rocks my hood pulled over my face and Aragorn's face mere inches from my own making my breath catch and me think that for a moment I have gone delirious.

"You must stay behind me Peyson and keep your hood up," he says urgently and I nod my head dumbly not really understanding his sudden worry.

The earth shakes beneath my feet as the riders go flying past us and I let out a breath I hadn't realised I had been holding before it catches in my throat again as Aragorn rushes out from our hiding place and calls out to them.

"Riders of Rohan what news from the mark?" the reaction is instantaneous as they riders expertly drive their horses round and are soon in a circle surrounding us where we have joined Aragorn. I can feel him shielding me and I make myself as invisible as possible as I stand behind him my hood up and my head bowed.

"What business do two men, and elf and a dwarf have here?" one of the riders growls and I tense slightly at the note of hostility in his voice.

"Tell me your name horse master and I shall tell you mine," Gimli says and I almost want to hit him for winding up the situation.

"I would cut off your head dwarf, if it stood but a little higher," the man replies and I can hear the smirk in his voice despite the fact that I still have my head down and my eyes fixed firmly on the ground.

"You would die before your stroke fell," Legolas' voice is cold and holds a deadly edge to it as he speaks and I am shaking with fear now as I know I am too weak to fight and surely we will all die if this escalates any further. I feel Aragorn move slightly and the spears are lowered slightly, the pressure released from where one was sticking into my side.

"We are not your enemies, we are friends of Rohan and of your king," Aragorn says calmly and I step even closer to him.

"Theodan no longer recognises friend from foe, not even his own kin," I sense a change in atmosphere at this point and risk a tiny glance up to see the man pull his helmet from his head but I don't recognise him so it means nothing to me. "I am Eomer son of Eomund, third marshall of the mark and nephew to the kin. We are loyal to Rohan and for that we are banished," he says and I gasp inwardly at the news, if the king of Rohan banishes his own kin he will surely kill us straight away we should get away from here. "… And everywhere his spies slip through our net," I am dragged from my thoughts again as the spears close in slightly and the tension rises notably.

"We are no spies I am Aragorn son of Arathorn and this is Gimli son of Gloin and Legolas of the Woodland realm we track a party of orc who have taken to friends of ours," Aragorn explains.

"You say you are not spies and yet you attempt to conceal one of your party from us," Eomer sneers and I tense in apprehension.

"We hide nothing," Aragorn says calmly although I can detect nervousness in his voice which scares me.

"Then why does he not show his face?" Eomer sneers and I tense further. For a long moment no one moves and then finally Aragorn turns slightly and taking my hand pulls me forward slightly squeezing my hand to let me know everything would be okay.

"She is wounded and we were attempting to help her maintain her pride," he says which makes me shoot him a look, as if I care about pride, I have never once cared about how I looked.

"A woman?" Eomer questions in surprise and Aragorn nods before signalling me to lower my hood and I do so with a small sigh raising my head stubbornly to gaze at the nephew of the king.

"You are not dressed as a lady?" he says after a while and I smirk a tiny bit, my tiredness making me bold.

"No I dare say I am not," I reply,

"How came you to be wounded?" I feel the others tense beside and behind me as the memories of our fallen companion and what he had done to me find their way into their minds but I merely smile sweetly at the man in front of me.

"I ran a foul of some Uruk Hai and one of them decided he did not like me so very much," I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"It is not wise for a woman to be wandering the wilds in these times dangerous foes are to be found everywhere,"

"Yes it would seem so although I will do my best to keep them from you," I smile and he smirks a little at me.

"Your name my lady?"

"Peyson," I reply simply and he lifts my hand to kiss it which causes Aragorn to tense beside me.

"Welcome to Rohan Lady Peyson I hope that you meet with no more danger," he says graciously and making me giggle for some reason.

"I cannot see that that will be a possibility I am a warrior and we are at war," I smile and he looks momentarily shocked before he smiles again.

"Then I hope that I may meet you again when this war is over perhaps," he says and I smile bowing my head slightly.

"Maybe," I say quietly,

"The orc my Lord?" Aragorn asks and I glance up at him as I hear the anger in his voice but no one else seems to notice.

"We slaughtered them in the night,"

"There were two hobbits with them did you see to hobbits?" Gimli yells pushing forwards while I stand rigid with shock.

"Halflings they would look like children to our eyes," Aragorn adds pleadingly and Eomer bows his head.

"We left none alive I am sorry," he says quietly and my legs nearly buckle, I think it is mere shock holding me upright as Eomer whistles and two horses come towards us as he mounts his own horse and speaks to Aragorn. "Look for your friends but do not trust to hope. It is forsaken in these lands," he says before calling an order to his men and they all ride away at a gallop leaving us alone and an emptiness surrounding us.

"Peyson come," Aragorn says pulling me towards him and pushing me up onto the horse before jumping up in front of me. I can feel the tension in him as we ride and the anger coming off him in waves anger aimed at me. I am not sure how I know it is aimed at me just that it is and it breaks my heart as I realise it is because he blames me for Merry and Pippin dying. Just when I believed we could be friends again I have managed to cause a wedge to grow between us.


	10. Chapter 10

We ride for hours until the acrid smoke fills not only the air but my lungs and along with the burning in my throat and eyes are the memories that come flying into my head of the pyre I built to burn my family and friends after they were slaughtered and I cling tightly to the necklace that Galadriel gave me as I slip down from the horse and walk in a daze towards the smouldering mass of bodies.

"It's one of their wee belts," Gimli's voice is gruff as it breaks through my thoughts and I shudder as I look away guilt washing through me so strongly it makes my knees buckle and sending me to the ground, which is lucky since a second later a helmet flies through the air where my head had been accompanied by a roar from Aragorn. I turn startled as he kneels himself, never before had I seen such an open display of emotion from him and it unnerved me. Slowly I move to my feet and struggle over to him, not sure how to approach him as our relationship had become suddenly strained again. For a moment I let my hand hover over his shoulder unsure as to how I should proceed and then my eye catches something on the ground beside him.

"A hobbit lay here," I say in a whisper kneeling beside him and touching the ground, he looks up at me before following my line of view and then further.

"And the other one," he says moving slightly across the ground.

"Their hands were bound," I add in a choked voice trying not to imagine the pain and fear that had been inflicted on them, trying to push it away as I follow him.

"Their bonds were cut," Aragorn almost shouts as he holds a broken piece of rope and I concentrate on the ground again trying not to let the hope build within me too quickly.

"They ran but they were followed," I say as I move forwards again ahead of the others now,

"Into Fangorn forest," Aragorn says as he comes to a halt beside me, where I have stopped staring into the darkness of the forest, trying to ignore the oppressive feeling that seems to force its self over me.

"What Madness drove them in there?"

"Fear of the creatures that followed them," I say quietly and a slight pressure on my hand causes me to glance to my left where Legolas stood calmly.

As we force our way through the dense foliage of the forest the adrenaline was still pumping through me, I was desperate to find them, to save them.

"You can track," Legolas comments, not really a question and I'm not sure for a second whether he requires an answer but I decide that the silence of the forest was oppressive enough without me adding to it even if Aragorn was mad at me for some unknown reason.

"Yes Hallebrad the ranger who taught me speak elvish and wield a sword and bow when I was young taught me,"

"You do him credit,"

"I don't know about that but I try, it has been a long time since I tried to track though… not since, well not since my village was attacked," I reply and his hand once again briefly finds mine to give it a squeeze.

"This forest is old, very old, full of memory… and anger," he says now and I wince as I too hear the groaning of the trees around me.

"Gimli lower your axe," Aragorn mutters and he does so although not without some wary glances around first. My attention is drawn away as I hear more moaning in the trees and a new feeling washing over me. I turn to face the others aware that they have stopped moving for the moment so I won't get too lost.

"Peyson get behind me," the voice sounds so urgent that I spin quickly pulling my sword as I do so staring around wildly looking for an enemy.

"What is it?" I ask in a quivering voice but he doesn't answer me instead the ranger merely grabs my arms and pulls me roughly behind his form while I do my best not to wince when he hits against a still fresh bruise and scrape.

"The white wizard approaches you must not let him speak," Legolas warns and I gulp offering a small nod instead of replying unsure if I could reply without my voice giving away my fear. We stand in an offensive position as a bight white light begins to shroud us completely, Legolas fires an arrow which is immediately deflected, Gimli roaring launches his axe which is also instantly sent flying in the other direction. A growl is sounded from in front of me as Aragorn drops his sword and it is only at this point that I feel the burning pain in my own hands and drop my sword quickly with a yelp and nurse my hands examining the blisters forming there.

"They met someone they did not expect… does that ease your mind?" the voice is eerily familiar and yet I cannot place it as the pain in my hands is forgotten and I glance up, shielding my face from the blinding light.

"Show yourself," Aragorn demands angrily and to my surprise the light begins to fade until I am left staring into a face I had not hoped to ever see again.

"Gandalf," Gimli says and the buzzing in my ears increases as he begins to talk and I attempt to understand what he has said, what has happened, how this is possible.

"Gandalf," Aragorn says his voice calming the thundering in my head and allowing me to come back to the present.

"Gandalf… Yes that is what they used to call me, Gandalf the Grey, I am Gandalf the White,'" he smiles.

"I…" I can't finish what I am saying instead I just rush forward and embrace him tightly causing him to stiffen for a second before returning the embrace with a chuckle.

"Come we must make our way to Edoras," he says eventually pulling me away slightly and frowning as he sees my face.

"Edoras that is no short distance," Gimli grumbles which makes me laugh, in fact I feel quite hysterical suddenly.

"What about Merry and Pippin?" I ask,

"They are safe child, in fact they are a great deal safer than we are about to be," he replies, brilliant more danger just what I need.

It is as we leave the darkness of the forest and step back into the soothing embrace of the sun and fresh clean air, not tainted by fear and anger that the exhaustion seems to hit me. I had not slept in days, I was wounded, none of the wounds had been treated and I was confused as hell about why Aragorn is angry with me. I suddenly feel as if I cannot possibly take another step and I feel lightheaded and ill.

"What is it Peyson?" Aragorn is suddenly in front of me and even through the residual anger I can still read on his face there is concern in his eyes and I feel relieved slightly that he doesn't hate me completely.

"I don't… I don't feel great," I admit quietly my legs wobbling slightly as I try to pull myself together and move forward, I need to let him no I am not a burden after all I had done wrongly but as if my body was against me this action only cause my legs to collapse beneath me and my body to crumple to the floor.

"Come you shall rest while I ride," he says almost gently as he lifts me into his arms.

"No, I'll be fine in a moment, you need rest too," I mutter my eyes already growing heavy.

"Little one," he says with a heavy sigh making me shudder as I hear his nick name for me for what feels like the first time in forever, "you are wounded and exhausted I should have made you rest before," I open my mouth to disagree but he shakes his head at me and I decide against it huffing out a little sigh of my own as I am put on the back of a horse feeling him land neatly behind me seconds later. "Rest little one," he orders and I do, too exhausted to refuse him.

When I wake it is later into the night and opening my eyes a little I can see that Aragorn and Legolas are a little in front of me talking as Aragorn throws cloth onto the fire.

"Lleaya nyara he` lle sinta" (you should tell her you know) Legolas says calmly and Aragorn pauses in his fiddling with his pipe to look up at his friend.

"Eller naa nothien nyar-" (there is nothing to tell) he replies before staring back at the fire before him.

"Lle naa just goien kol- no' lettien he` dura tanya re has done somethien a' wrong lle?" (You are just going to carry on letting her believe that she has done something to wrong you?) Legolas says and I suddenly pay a little more attention as I realise they are speaking about me.

"Re-aya il- caela spoken a' ho e' tanya men" (she should not have spoken to him in that way) Aragorn snaps and Legolas glances at me before he speaks again.

"Re naa an innocent re sinta il- i' intentions en' others ar' lle punish he` ten' tanya? lle naa Mellonamin estel nan' lle naa wrong ar' amin will il- stand a' elea lle treat he` e' sina men ten' en' lle own gorga," (She is an innocent she knows not the intentions of others and you punish her for that? You are my friend Estel but you are wrong and I will not stand to see you treat her in this way because of your own fear) Legolas sounds almost as angry as he did when he was threatening Eomer earlier as he says this before he walks swiftly away into the night. I lay there my heart pounding and confusion filling me.

"You are angry with me because I spoke to Eomer?" I ask eventually in a shocked whisper and he whips round so quickly for a second I think he may have injured himself.

"You were eaves dropping," he scowls,

"You forget I speak elvish," I say annoyed at his avoidance of my question.

"You should not have paraded yourself like that I told you to stay hidden," he says after a while and I am on my feet in an instant.

"He was being friendly and I was trying to be polite to defuse the tension," I hiss at him careful not to wake Gimli and Gandalf.

"He was too forward and you allowed him to be," he growls also on his feet and standing in front of me.

"You are going mad," I say in bewilderment and he chuckles quietly and mirthlessly at me.

"He has designs on you already," his face is inches from mine now and I can feel the angry flush growing across it.

"So what if he does?" I explode lowering my voice instantly as Gimli snorts and stirs in his sleep. "You have no hold over me Aragorn, you are in love with someone else and…" I break off gasping a little tears burning in my eyes as I realise what I have said and looking at his face I see he is looking just as shocked as me and I almost do not know what to say.

"You are right I have no hold over you I was simply trying to protect you," he says quietly after a while and I feel my heart break as he says these words. Confirmation that he does not love me and never could. I cannot speak the hurt is so real that I feel physical pain so instead I nod at him a tiny bit and then somehow make it away from the camp far enough away that I'm a certain he will not hear me cry.

It is hours before my tears have dried and I allow myself to slip into a restless sleep with Galadriel's necklace clutched in my hand.

"Peyson, we must be moving now," the voice washes over me and after a minute I recognise it as Legolas' and I sit up groggily my head pounding from my outpouring of emotion and slowly healing wounds. "Oh Peyson I am so sorry, he did not mean it," he sighs as he takes in my face and I turn away from him slightly unwilling to relive it all so soon.

"May I ride with you today?" I ask instead in a small voice and he nods as he helps me up and I fasten my weapons to my person more securely. We approach the others already waiting by the horses and after a quick word in Gimli's ear who immediately growls and sends a sneer in Aragorn's direction before dismounting and moving towards him.

"Peyson will ride with me today she is still weak and I can better care for her while we ride without having to stop for rest," Legolas says and I know no one is convinced by this excuse and I notice an emotion cross Aragorn's face but it is gone before I can work out what it is and trying not to show the hurt he has caused me I let Legolas help me mount before he jumps up in front of me and we move off.


	11. Chapter 11

The ride is long and boring, which for me means painful because I all I have to do is wallow in my own self misery.

"Edoras… do not look for welcome in these walls," Gandalf says and I look up as I see the city rising above us. I shudder as the air of evil that seems to cling to the very atmosphere, seems to weigh down on us as we ride closer. By the time we finally reach the doorway of the great hall where we are stopped by the guards I can barely stop myself from shaking.

"I cannot allow you before the king so armed by order of Grima Wormtongue," A guard says stepping forward to block our path. We freeze until Gandalf gives a nod and the others begin to hand over their weapons they turn to me and I shake my head slightly feeling my eyes widen in fear.

"Peyson…" Aragorn starts stepping towards me but I shake my head backing away a little, how can I possibly give up my weapons and be defenceless in a hostile city. "Little one I will not let any harm come to you," he whispers and I regard him for a while longer before finally relenting and handing over my sword, bow and quiver of arrows and my knife.

"Your staff," The guard says,

"Oh… you would not part an old man from his walking stick," Gandalf says a little too convincingly and for a moment we all freeze before the guard finally relents and nods his head a fraction moving so we can pass by him.

Slowly was make our way into the darkened hall and I stifle a gasp as I see the withered man sitting on the throne. He looks… dead. I have never seen a man look so close to death, his entire form, mind as well as body seemed to be decaying before as even as we stood watching him through the dim light that filtered into the vast room. I shuffle away from the others slightly trying not to appear weak as I notice men sneering at me slightly as the file in to stand in the darkened corners. Nervous energy fills me as I stare at them, I do not have a good feeling about this, in fact I almost wish I was back in Fangorn as opposed to here at the moment the very air is oppressive. My attention is drawn back to the others as a greasy looking man all in black who is crouching by the king suddenly stands.

"His staff, I told you to take his staff," he cries and before I can register what is happening the men are launching an attack, and Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are fighting them off. They seem to see me as no threat as they bypass me which is irritating but I am inwardly glad for it as I am still too exhausted, both emotionally and physically to really fight. So I step out of the way and watch as my friends take them down easily.

Suddenly I feel hot breath on the back of my neck and before I can turn an arm is holding me against a solid chest and another is holding a knife to my throat.

"Stop or I kill her," the voice yells and I realise it is the greasy man. Everyone in the room freezes and I can sense the tenseness in the air.

"Let her go Wormtongue it will do you no good," Gandalf growls and the man sneers and tightens his grip on me. I fight not to whimper as I feel the blade cut into the skin at my throat and consequently the blood begin its trail down my chest. Brilliant, like I needed any more damage done to my still fragile throat.

"Don't listen to him," I manage, proud of how steady my voice is. A sudden pain in my ribs and head force a shot yelp from me as he tries to punish me for not being more scared but I look steadfastly at Gandalf even as I notice Aragorn make a movement towards me. Gandalf gives me a short nod and then I watch as he turns back to Theodon and proceeds to rid him of Saurman's evil. A streak of white flying past me distracts both me and my captor as Aragorn catches the woman in his arms causing a new kind of pain to strike my heart instantly even as Gimli launches an attack at Grima freeing me into Legolas' arms.

As soon as the turmoil is over and Theodon has been returned to his right mind, and body, which I am a little miffed I missed as it must have been an incredible thing to witness, the men all chase Wormtongue outside and I suddenly find myself alone in the huge room with the woman who approaches me slowly.

"My name is Eowyn," she says as if she doesn't quite know who to take me,

"I'm Peyson," I reply, eying her with equal scepticism.

"You are travelling with the others who freed my uncle?" she asks the question as though she already knows the answer and so I merely nod in reply and she smiles at me, although it is sad and does not reach her eyes. "Come, let us get you patched up," she says and I look round wildly for a moment, "Do not worry, I shall tell your companions where to find you and I shall not leave you alone," she says and so I nod again and follow her down a series of corridors until we reach some rooms which look warm and inviting. "Here I shall get someone to draw you a bath and then return shortly with dressings for your wounds and some clean clothes," she says and I offer her a small smile.

"Thank you," I say quietly and it is her turn to nod slightly as she leaves.

By the time I get out of the bath I feel like a new woman, I cannot remember the last time I felt so clean and fresh. Eowyn has redressed my wounds and she has given me a dress to wear which feels odd after so long in trousers and a tunic. I didn't tell her that I have seldom ever worn a dress although from the way I struggled with it I think she may have guessed which made her smile slightly.

Now I am wandering down a hallway trying to find my way back to the hall and my friends and getting incredibly lost. Finally I round a corner and see them ahead of me sitting at a long table and eating what looks to be soup of some kind.

"Hi," I say as I approach them and Legolas and Gimli look up and smile at me.

"It is good to see you look so… well like a lady lass," Gimli laughs and I blush slightly and Legolas laughs too.

"How are you?" he asks gently and I smile at him,

"I'm fine," I say glancing at Aragorn who has not looked at me once and frowning slightly at his complete lack of interest in my presence.

"Come Gimli let us find out where we are staying and clean up, who knows how long it will before we can rest safely again," Legolas says after a minute and I glance up at him in horror but he merely rests a hand on my shoulder for a second before shooting a significant look at Aragorn and leaving. We sit in silence for a while for I let out a frustrated sigh and put down the piece of bread I had been tearing up.

"What have I done wrong now?" I ask and he looks up with such anger and frustration on his face that I flick back.

"You put yourself in danger earlier," he almost growls and it takes me a moment to realise what he is speaking about.  
"I did not know he was behind me," I say, although I am aware as I say it exactly what he is going to say.

"You are aware of too little lately, you are constantly putting yourself and us in danger," he says and I am so stung I can't respond for a moment.

"What are you trying to say?" I ask eventually my voice so quiet it is almost a whisper.

"That… I think maybe you should leave us here, you are not strong enough to continue, you are becoming a burden," he says and the hurt that those words causes is more intense than I had imagined it could. I suck in a breath, tears stinging in my eyes and I feel suddenly sick.

"Right… well… luckily for me you do not speak for me or the fellowship but I will do my best to stay out of your way and no longer put you in danger," I say thickly as I stand up and turning away before turning back to him, "You no longer have to concern yourself with my safety if I die then it is on my own head and no one else," I add before walking briskly away somehow finding my way to my room and collapsing on my bed before I let the tears fall and fall they did. I cry for hours, until there are no more tears left to cry and I am empty.

A knock on my door startles me, I must have fallen asleep and am drowsy as I make my way to the door.

"Pey… what has happened?" Legolas asks looking concerned as he takes in my appearance.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I say quietly and he shakes his head stepping inside and leading me to the edge of the bed where he sits and pulls me down beside him.

"You have been crying Peyson and you have an aura of despair around you what is wrong?" he asks again and I sigh, no longer tearful, I really had cried all the tears I had.

"He told me he no longer wants me to be a part of the fellowship," I say brokenly,

"He is just concerned for you," he reasons but I shake my head again.

"No," I say in a small voice, "he says I am naught but a burden to you all," he sighs heavily at this, a sound I had not thought I would ever hear from the noble elf.

"In time you and he shall both see the truth but for now you must prepare, we leave for Helms deep in a few hours, I have told them to bring you back your clothes," he says embracing me quickly before standing pausing at the doorway to turn back to me. "Prove to him you are as worthy of being here as we all know you are," he says before gliding out and leaving me alone once more.

I spend the day walking beside Legolas away from the others trying desperately not to notice the looks that pass between Aragorn and Eowyn but failing miserably and by the time we make camp for the night I am so despondent I barely know what to do with myself. I have found myself a small space close to the others but hidden just over a hillock so Aragorn cannot see me but I can hear him. I hear and see the men mock and sneer at me for wearing mens clothing and carrying weapons and sigh silently as I hear Eowyn have a conversation with Aragorn, surprised when he admits to her that he is of the Dunedian.

"Peyson how do you fare?" a voice asks quietly as I watch Eowyn leave a short while later.

"I'm fine," I say back not looking up as Legolas sits beside me,

"He does not feel for her in the way you think,"

"I know he loves Arwen, but it matter not, I am below both of them in status, beauty and his own esteem," I say equally as quietly and he gives a little growl before standing and moving away quickly leaving me in a slightly shocked silence staring after him.

"Why do you punish her is this way?" Legolas' voice is cold as he speaks and I almost forget to breathe as I realise he is speaking to Aragorn.

"I know not what you speak of," Aragorn replies and I hear Legolas' answering growl to this comment.

"You have been my friend and trusted companion for many years and never have I wavered in my loyalty to you but I barely recognise the man in front of me. You are a coward Estel and I am ashamed of you," Legolas has never sounded more angry and suddenly I see them both as Aragorn stands facing the man.

"It is not your business," Aragorn responds sounding equally as angry as he does so and I see his fists clenched at his sides.

"You do not deserve her devotion," Legolas snarls and I gasp as Legolas all but tells Aragorn of my feelings towards him, hearing me they both turn to me as if seeing me for the first time and quickly step apart.

"I cannot believe you are fighting over me, I am not worth it," I stammer as I stand before stepping towards them, swallowing my pride, my hurt and my feelings, "the only thing any of us should be focussed on is Frodo, he is who we should be thinking of, I am sorry if I have caused strife between you or if my stupidity has caused you to forget our purpose, I will not do it again but please stop this and concentrate on what is important and that is certainly not me," my voice quivers ever so slightly as I finish and I am breathing heavily my face burning as I turn away and picking up my weapons move to a more secluded spot.

I speak to no-on for the rest of the day or most of the following morning simply walking silently wallowing in my inner turmoil. I try to remember what my life used to be like and struggle to capture the feeling of being content and happy with my family. Everything had been turned upside down and for a brief time I thought finding Aragorn meant I could be happy again until I pulled away. Oh how the tables had turned now, he hated me and I could not work out why, I could not understand what I had done but I wished with every fibre in my being that I could be in his arms again as a friend I knew he would never love me but I had nothing now and it hurt more than I could say.

"Wargs, we're under attack," the shout of panic cuts through everything and I am suddenly on high alert. Legolas' words ring through my head, 'prove that you are worthy of being here' I run as fast as I can to the crest of the hill and gulp as I see the Wargs with their orc riders racing towards us. I can hear the commotion behind me, the screams of the women and children, the cries of the soldiers mounting their horses and riding towards me and battle but I concentrate on the attackers coming our way pulling my bow and nocking an arrow. I aim steadily and fire killing one of the beasts and sending its rider toppling to the ground to be crushed by those behind it. Without pausing I shoot again and again. I take down as many as I can before holstering my bow and pulling pout my sword rush into battle taking down as many as I can. I am quickly covered in the black blood of my enemy and every muscle in my body is aching with the effort of killing so many.

"You did well lass, a mighty fine warrior," Gimli smiles as he approaches me and I offer a smile before my head whips round as I hear Legolas call out Aragorn's name. I spin to look for him and see Legolas crouching in front of an orc and my heart pounding in my chest I race towards him Gimli hot o my heels. As I reach him I see Legolas standing a necklace in his hand as he looks out over the cliff and slowly my hazy mind puts together the pieces of the puzzle.

Aragorn is gone… and just like that my entire world shatters.


	12. Chapter 12

I hated him. He had left me. After everything he has said to me it is he who was not careful enough, he who left me alone, I couldn't cope. I couldn't understand it was like the last strand of hope had snapped and despite knowing Legolas and Gimli where still here I was alone. Set adrift, devastated did not come close. There are no words to describe the all consuming emptiness I felt, the rage, the hurt, the pain, so intense it was physical, stealing the very breath from my lungs.

I am in a daze as someone, I think possibly Legolas, pulls me back from the cliff edge and helps me onto a horse. I don't feel the wind as we gallop towards Helms Deep, or see the sights tears are blurring my vision and I am shaking with barely suppressed emotion as we rush up the causeway and through the crowded courtyard of the fort.

"So few, so few of you have returned," Eowyn's voice is trembling as she reaches us her eyes automatically searching for the one person she would not find and it tore at my already battered heart.

"Lady Peyson," the voice is hesitant and soft and I glance up to see Eowyn staring at me, Legolas and Gimli are also lost in their own turmoil and I cannot face it. I cannot face her or anyone. I want to be alone, I need to be alone. Shaking my head I back away before turning and sprinting away until I find myself down a narrow corridor walking around the corner I see the armoury and soon find a tiny cupboard to the side of it, opening the door I can see only a few chainmail shirts sitting to the side. I step inside close the door and slump to the floor the emptiness so consuming I can't even cry properly, dry sobs wracking through my body as I tip to the side lying on the dirty ground my knees pulled up to my chest.

I'm not sure how many hours I am lying in here but it must be at least a day. I have heard people coming and going, I have ignored the pangs of hunger in my stomach and the aching tiredness in my bones for it has served but to show me I am still alive and that he is not and every time I remember that the pain redoubles and the tears start afresh. My face is dry and my eyes raw from crying so much so that when the door opens and light floods in I squeeze them shut from the pain it causes me.

"I might have known that you were to be found somewhere close to weapons little one," the voice it is so familiar and that nick name… I crack open my eyes as the figure crouches before me and pull myself to a sitting position and the face that looks back at me makes me scream aloud as I launch myself into his arms, fresh sobs ripping through to me as I cling to him as if I would die were he to ever let go of me again. Although thinking about it, I think if he ever did this again I probably would die. He dips his head to bury it in my hair and tightens his own grip on me.

"I thought you had died," I whisper hoarsely after a while still refusing to let go of him and so he manoeuvres us so that he can sit comfortably with me in his lap and I am so relieved to have him safe that I don't even have the time to care that we were in a compromising position, I couldn't even bring myself to care about the fact that he hated me and I loved him, that our friendship had drifted so far apart. Nothing mattered because he was alive and I wasn't dead inside anymore.

"I'm so sorry," he mutters before looking up at me and taking in my face, which granted must look a mess but he almost looks as if he is about to cry and I didn't think I looked that bad, "my little one," he says bringing his fingers up to brush the hair back from my face and I freeze.

"You hate me," I say almost as if I am reassuring myself of this fact and he recoils as he flinches visibly his face crumpling.

"I could never hate you," he states so vehemently I almost think I had imagined the whole argument.

"But you said…" I trail off the hurt of his words still raw.

"I was trying to protect you, I have never been more scared than when you were injured,"

"I was fine," I say quickly blushing a little at the stare he gives me.

"The thought of losing you… I cannot lose you," he says softly and I gasp when I see the depth of emotion swimming in the blue grey eyes staring back at me.

"But… Arwen… Eowyn," I stutter thinking that I may be dreaming all of this and not really comprehending what is happening.

"I loved Arwen but she has sailed to the undying lands, we spoke for a long time before I left Rivendell and she said that she had already seen where my future lay,"

"Oh…" I have never been so tongue tied before and my head was pounding with a combination of exhaustion, exhilaration, confusion and grief turned elation.

"It is with you little one, not Arwen nor Eowyn my heart is yours," as he utters these words his hand finds my cheek again and I think I stop breathing as I stare at him.

"I don't understand," I say in a breathless whisper, "I… I thought… for so long I have loved you and you never, I cannot… I am but a village girl…" I trail off as his fingers tilt my face up slightly and caress my cheek lightly before he suddenly presses his lips to mine. Shocks rush through me, tingling through to the very tips of my fingers and toes and I gasp causing him to immediately deepen the kiss. Somehow I have found my arms around his neck as he pulls my closer to him. It feels like coming home, like I hadn't lived before now and everything had been dull and lonely and now I could see clearly for the first time. I was hyper aware of everywhere his body touched mine and my entire body was thrumming when he pulled away resting his forehead against mine.

"You are no mere village girl my love. You are a warrior, a Lady and one of the Dunedain and most importantly you hold my heart," he breathes and my own breath catches in my throat again.

"I think you have had mine since the moment we met," I say back after a while and his smile makes me want to cry he is so beautiful and the thought that it is I who has caused that smile could warm me no matter how cold I was.

We are still seated holding one another in the small cupboard my head resting against his shoulder as I breathe him in, still not sure whether I believe that he is real.

"Three hours ago I thought I had lost you and I have never felt more alone, I thought I would die, I could not breathe," I whisper as his fingers card gently through my hair which has fallen from its braid, "I am struggling to believe you are really here,"

"I promise to you that I will never leave you again," he whispers back pressing his lips to my head.

"We are at war Aragorn, I am not sure that is a promise either of us can keep," I sigh and his grip on me tightens.

"I see now that it was wrong to try to make you leave but I do not wish for you to fight," he says slowly, "we face a great host of orc and Uruk Hai, so many I am not sure that any of us will survive," I look up at him and study his face for a while as he says this.

"I think perhaps we will not but let us not dwell on hopelessness, let us make the most of the time we have and hope for the Valar is with us. After all I… we have survived things we should nto have in the past maybe the Valar have a greater plan for us," I say and he smiles at me again before leaning forward and kissing me deeply as if he were a dying man taking his last breath and I kiss him just as desperately.

"Come my love, let us spread your optimism amongst those who so desperately need it," he says standing up and pulling me with him holding me close to him for a second more before drawing away reluctantly and opening the door.

"Peyson there you are I have been so worried," Legolas exclaims rushing to me and embracing me before taking my head in his hands and staring at me intently. I feel myself flush under his scrutiny and try to avoid his eye but he does not let up, "you look awful," he says after a minute and I pull away slightly offering him an offended glance.

"Thanks a lot," I say,

"He has told you," he states after a minute and I look at him trying to work out what he means but offer a little nod,

"He came and found me, told me he was okay," I say quietly.

"He has told you that he loves you," he says in almost a whisper a hint of hope in his voice as he does so as if he is not quite certain of the truth in his words and looking up at him I cannot help the smile which spreads across my face as I nod and his answering beam makes my heart swell even more. I may have lost people, friends and family but in the members of the fellowship I had gained a family I would hold on to forever and I made a silent vow to make every second with them count.

"You knew,"

"Ay, the elves we have a deeper sense of aura and soul and I saw it in both of you, I think before you even saw it in yourselves," he says and I smile at him again.

"Come let us get ready I hear we have a battle on it's way to us," I say and he smiles grimly at me.

To say the last few hours have been less than peaceful would be an understatement to say the least. Aragorn took me straight to a room and insisted that I clean up and get a few hours of sleep so that I was at my best for the fighting. That is after he spent at least an hour trying to convince me to go down to the caves which nearly caused another huge argument between us but he relented and instead insisted I rest at which point I said he should rest too since he had nearly died and looked on the edge of collapsing through exhaustion. He laughed then and said he had too much to do. So he left me alone and promised to come and find me before we went to fight and I have tried to sleep, then I had a wash not that I saw the point in getting that clean as I was about to most probably fight and die but I would at least be clean and fresh smelling when I saw Aragorn and maybe stole a kiss, possibly our last before we fought. With this thought in mind I managed to at last get some rest and my exhausted mind and body slept for the first time in a long time.

When I wake I open my eyes to see Aragorn sitting on the edge of the bed watching me.

"You look tired," I say in a voice heavy still with sleep.

"I am well little one," he smiles at me his fingers moving seemingly of their own volition to move my hair out of my face before dancing across the skin on my cheeks and neck for a second making me catch a breath in my throat.

"It is time isn't it?" I ask after a moment and he sighs heavily before nodding his head.

"The elves are here though, Lady Galadriel sent them I feel a little more hope now that we have them," he whispers as I sit up and begin to pull my boots on. He watches silently as I stand then and after braiding my hair quickly I begin to strap my sword around my side and then I place my quiver of arrows over my shoulder and my bow behind it before turning back to him.

"There is always hope," I say as I walk towards him slowly watching as he stands and makes his way towards me meeting in the middle of the room.

"It is not fair," he says quietly now and I raise my eyebrow at him slightly.

"What is not fair?" I ask attempting not to shiver as his arms make their way around my waist.

"I wanted to build a life with you, I wanted to do so much we have only just found each other and now it looks like we may not last the night," his head dips as he finishes burying itself in my neck and I smile sadly as my fingers slowly stroke through his hair.

"I feel like the luckiest person in Middle Earth to have known you at all and to have had your love for even the briefest moment in time but I do not think you will die my love I think you have many years left," I say and he pulls back placing a searing skin on my lips which steals the very breath from my lungs.

"I will not allow harm to come to you this night my love, we will survive together or perish together for I do not wish to survive without you," he says earnestly and I offer him a smile which I know doesn't reach my eyes.

"You know as well as I that your life is far more important to the survival of Middle Earth than mine you cannot protect me if it puts you at risk," I say and he at once shakes his head causing me to let out a little noise of frustration.

"Not to me, your life is more important to me than any other without you I am nothing if the future of Middle Earth has any link to me it is linked just as strongly to you," he says and I almost laugh were it not for the steely look of determination in his eye as he says it.

"I am a skilled fighter Aragorn I will stay as safe as I can and I will stay close to Legolas and Gimli you must concentrate on leading us to a victory, the men need you," I say and he holds my head in his hands for a while staring at me in such a way that my knees almost buckle under the intensity of it and then he pulls me forwards and kisses me so forcefully and passionately that I see white spots behind my eyelids and am forced to hold onto his shoulders to try and ground myself.

"Come we must take our places," he says stopping just inside the door to turn to me again, "I love you Peyson, my little one," he whispers and I feel my face flush furiously as I battle the tears that instantly well in my eyes.

"I love you too," I reply standing on my tip toes to reach his cheek and kiss him gently there. "Let's go and kill some orcs," I add smiling as I brush past him and out of the door.


	13. Chapter 13

The atmosphere on the wall is thick with fear and tension and it is all I can do not to shake from it. A figure appears behind me and without looking I know it is him and I relax marginally as his fingers reach for mine gripping them tightly in his own for a moment.

"Your friends are with you Aragorn," Legolas says from his position beside me glancing over and offering him a grim smile.

"Let's hope we last the night," Gimli adds which causes me to snort a little.

"Positive thinking there Gimli," I say which causes them all to laugh a little, although it doesn't last long and all too soon we are once again silent and staring out at the rapidly approaching wall of orcs.

"I must go and speak with Haldir, be safe my love and do not stray too far from Legolas or Gimli," Aragorn murmurs to me and I turn briefly to smile at him and give his fingers a last squeeze before they slip from my grasp and he is gone and my anxiety is back.

"It is okay Peyson we would never risk letting anything to Estel's little one, his wrath would be too great," Legolas grins and I feel myself blush fiercely.

"And here I was thinking you would want to protect me because you cared," I mock and his grin widens a little,

"I know too well that you need no protecting my friend you are a fierce warrior," he says loudly drawing glances from those around us and I blush again before I realise that he has done this both to ease my tension and those around me and nod to him gratefully.

"Well how about a small competition then?" Gimli says and we both look down at him.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" I ask feeling the smile on my face and wondering at the surreal nature of our lighthearted conversation as death is slowly approaching.

"Who can kill the most Orc scum," he smiles grimly and I suppress a shudder at the realisation that I would have to kill many this night if I wanted to live. I know they are evil, barely even considered anything close to human but it still felt… it was not a nice feeling to take another life, whatever that life was.

"You think you can beat an elf and a ranger?" I mock instead with my eyebrow raised and a smirk on my face trying to cover my uncomfortable feeling so as not to put them ill at ease.

"Why… What… I will have you know I am the finest warrior in the…" he splutters at me and I laugh loudly,

"Calm yourself my friend I believe our companion is trying to put you off to give herself a better chance," Legolas says placing a hand on Gimli's shoulder and smirking up at me and it is my turn to look flustered and Gimli's to laugh. All too soon though a horn blows and the great marching army comes to a halt and the silence around me is suddenly deafening as we wait.

Our bows are drawn, arrows knocked while we wait for Aragorn to give the next order, rain cascading down over us blurring my vision and stinging my hands with it's iciness but I hold fast and breathe deeply to stop my shaking.

"Hold," the voice is Aragorn's and for a second I wonder what it is he is shouting at or for and then I see the orc waver on his feet and fall and the arrow sticking from his neck. For a second nothing moves or makes a sound and then the roar that is emitted from the army before us starts, so loud that the ground shakes and my blood begins to freeze in my veins at the terror it induces. Aragorn is shouting instructions again but I am struggling to focus that is until he gives the order to fire and I do. Again and again I fire, like Hallebrad taught me, no pauses, no mercy just kill as many of them as I can so they can't get to us. They keep coming though like waves, never ceasing, just walking over the dead in front of them, thousands upon thousands and then ladders are being pulled up the walls.

"Ladders," I here Legolas yell the word and Gimli's pleased response but before I can say anything myself they are pouring over the walls and I only have a second to put my bow away and pull out my sword before the first one is on me and I am fighting for my life. For a long while I forget everything around me and become like a mechanical being, following the moves taught to me so many years ago, not seeing or hearing or feeling anything around me other than the enemy and my sword. At one point I am backed up against the wall fighting two of them and as I behind one before swinging round and embedding my sword in the stomach of the other I hear a cry and recognising the voice look up startled. Somehow I have been separated from the others during the fighting, I gaze around ducking enemies and dispatching them as I look for him and then, finally, I spot him screaming at Legolas and I see Legolas shooting desperately at something below but before I can register anything an almighty blast throws me from my feet and the ringing in my ears keeps me from focusing on anything else for a few seconds at least.

Eventually I manage to pull myself to my feet rather shakily and notice with a grim detachment that much of my tunic is ripped and blood both mine and the blood of my enemies is soaking much of my body. I look around in a daze trying to spot them but I can't, a blur to the side of me makes me spin on the spot and an orc falls in front of me arm still outstretched and an arrow in it's skull. I look up but before I can focus on anything else I see Haldir fighting only feet from me and a huge beast approaching from behind. A scream echoes around my head and it is a few seconds before I work out that it is my own, my legs moving of their own volition towards him. There is so much death around, elves and men lay with wide staring eyes, their faces twisted in the agony they felt in there last moments of life. I reach Haldir just as the Uruk has his arm fully extended above him and push him forwards trying to jump out of reach too.

The pain is indescribable, a fire trailing from my left shoulder across to my right hip so strong that even as my knees hit the rock below them I do not feel it. I stare up into Haldir's shocked face as he shakes himself an instant later killing the beast that had hit me before pulling me up quickly ripping a harsh scream from me as he does so.

"Pey…" a voice starts but it is cut off quickly,

"I have her get the others back to the keep," Haldir is so stern that however it is seems to obey instantly and then I am being dragged. I try my hardest not to weep and scream with every movement but I am struggling. My vision is blurring and sweat is pooling on my forehead even as shivers rock through me.

"Stay with me, fight it just a little longer my lady," the voice is soothing and it makes me want to sleep so badly do I want to close my eyes and let the darkness take me. The dull thud of the doors and muffling of sound around me makes me realise that we must be back in the keep but we are not stopping as he continues to drag me down another corridor.

"Wait… must help… Aragorn… keep," I manage to gasp out as fresh waves of stabbing, hot pain radiate outwards from my wound.

"My lady you are too wounded I must get you to the caves where you can be cared for until I come back for you with your lover," he says and I can't even find it in me to blush or be intrigued as to how he knows about Aragorn and I.

After what seems like an eternity we reach another door and a cool breeze hits me as I am passed over to another soldier and a woman I think.

"What happened?" a voice asks in concern but I can barely lift my head at this point.

"She was hit by an Uruk sword in battle, she is losing too much blood, you must stem the flow, I will be back as soon as I can with elvish medicine," Haldir says to them and I guess they nod because no one says anything and they begin to drag me away causing me to scream out again.

"Aragorn," I try to shout but it comes out as a sob instead.

"It is okay my lady he will be here soon," someone says and as they lay me down on a palette and begin to remove what is left of my ruined clothes I close my eyes and let the darkness wash over me.

When I wake up I can feel fingers brushing slowly through my hair and realise that I am lying on my front which is odd and so before I even open my eyes I attempt to roll over immediately regretting it as pain shoots through me so rapidly I see white spots behind my eyelids and cannot hold in the scream of pain.

"Don't move my love you must not move," the voice is urgent and hoarse and I recognise it instantly.

"Aragorn," I murmur and his hand is in mine as I feel his body shift and his lips appear by my ear kissing my temple as I turn my face towards him opening my eyes to see his stormy grey ones staring at me in anguish.

"Haldir will be back in a moment with an elvish healer that has survived," he whispers to me and I manage a nod.

"Is it over?" I ask after a moment,

"Yes," he says,

"Did we win?"

"Yes little one, we did," he says quietly offering me a small smile.

"What happened?" I ask after another short silence,

"You saved Haldir's life my love but you are gravely wounded,"

"Not to me," I say quickly, "to you, you are bleeding," I finish trying to reach up to a touch a wound I can see on his head and to my surprise he laughs a little although I can see tears glistening in his eyes too.

"Only you my love could be lying here close to death and still be more concerned for my well being," he whispers kissing my head again, his lips lingering a long time afterwards.

"I am okay it is not too bad," I try but his eyes make the words die on my lips,

"I told you to stay safe," he sighs and I offer him a smile,

"What about your wounds?" I try again and he sighs again kissing my head again.

"When you have been seen, when you are healing I shall get them tended to I promise," he whispers before moving as footsteps approach us.

"Don't leave me," I yelp as he moves again and his hand finds mine in an instant squeezing it gently.

"I am not going anywhere I promise," he says and I feel myself relax a tiny amount as I rest my head to the side trying not to shake and for the first time realising that I am naked from the waist up.

"My lady, we must treat your wounds before they become infected," Haldir says and I nod at him and squeeze my eyes shut until I feel a hand rest on my cheek and opening them see Aragorn's face in front of mine. He has moved to lay in front of me his head resting beside mine his face mere centimetres from my own.

"Look at me my love, I am right here," he whispers and I stare at him the elves clean my back and stitch it before placing some sort of paste over it and dressing it. I try my best not to cry out as they do it but I am ashamed of the few whimpers that escape my lips and the constant tears that make tracks down my face as Aragorn gently wipes them away. When it is over my eyes close as exhaustion washes through me, "sleep my little one, I will be here when you awaken," he whispers to me as blackness creeps over me yet again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors note: I'm so sorry it has taken so long to update I hit a bit of writers block with all my stories and then I was away road tripping around Canada and had no access to my writing for a while. Remember I am always open to ideas, suggestions and constructive criticism, I hope you enjoy. This is just a little chapter to get me back into the swing of things and is slightly mushy but who doesn't love a bit of romance and mush there is enough violence and sorrow in the world why make it that way in fiction too when we could make characters happy in between.**

Opening my eyes it takes me a while to get my bearings and I spend some time staring around the room I am in. I am alone in a small bare room a loose dress now covering me and by the feel of the air around me I would guess it to be the middle of the night. Although that also may have been given away by the darkness everywhere. After laying there for a while I finally decide to get up and find my friends and my Aragorn. My Aragorn! Even thinking about it now sends a little shiver down my spine and goosebumps over my skin, I still feel a little as if I am in a dream I never thought I could be so happy despite the wound across my back which once healed would no doubt leave a scar which will no doubt worry me in the future but right now I was just happy to be alive. Slowly, I drag my way out of the bed I am in and shakily stand on my feet. Moving along to the door I use the wall to support me and can already feel sweat building on my forehead and prickling on my back as I step out into the corridor and make my way along it. I realise quite suddenly that I am not at Helms Deep at all but am walking down one of the halls at Edoras. How long have I been asleep?

"My lady, you should not be up and walking around so soon," a voice says quietly from behind me causing me to gasp lightly and spin around to see Haldir standing there.

"How did I get back here? What happened? Where is everyone?" I ask, questions pouring out of me even as he takes my arm and begins to walk slowly with me.

"You lost a lot of blood my lady and became feverish, you have been unconscious these past few days and during that time you were brought back here to heal," he pauses and I open my mouth to interrupt but he holds a hand up to stop me before continuing, "Aragorn and your other companions rode to Isenguard and are returning as we speak in fact by the time we reach the hall they should have got there," he finishes smiling knowingly at me and I smile in return.

"Can I ask one more question?" I say looking up at him and he nods down at me as we continue to make our way along the corridor. "Why did you not ride with them?"  
"You saved my life my lady and I owe you my allegiance and protection," he says solemnly and I gasp a tiny bit it surprise.

"But your family…"

"Do not trouble yourself lady Peyson my decision is my own and my brothers await me in the safe havens," he looks so serene as he says this that I feel quite jealous, I'm fairly sure that it's not fair for someone to pledge their allegiance to someone else and look so bloody self righteous and perfect whilst doing it.

"You know I don't need protecting right? I can look after myself," I retort stubbornly and I notice his smirk which brings a slight flush to my cheeks which increases as I stumble and am forced to clutch him for support.

"Come you should be resting let us get you to the hall and your lover so you can take some advice and actually recover as I sense that you will not listen to me," he says supporting me gently as I fight the burning in my cheeks and offer him a grunt in reply.

By the time we reach the hall I am pretty exhausted which is frustrating and worrying. What if they come back with news that we must ride out soon and I am still too weak I can not face leaving him now that I have found him. Any of them for that matter they are all I have left in the world now. Halide helps me over to a seat by the fire and I lean back slightly wincing at the soreness still in my wounded back and fidget around until I find a comfortable position resting on my side and close my eyes for a second. A movement causes me to stir and I open my eyes to see stormy grey ones staring back at me.

"Aragorn," I whisper, "is it really you?" I ask not sure whether I am still dreaming,

"I am here my little one," he smiles and I move to sit up as he helps me and then seats himself beside me.

"When did you get back?" I ask after a moments silence,'

"Only an hour or so ago, I did not want to disturb you, you looked so peaceful.

"I have done little else these past days it would seem," I mutter and he laughs a little at the note of annoyance in my voice which I know I haven't been able to hide but then he sighs heavily and turns towards me his fingers tracing the features of my face before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and letting his hand rest on my cheek eliciting a small sigh from me as I lean into his touch.

"I have never been so afraid Peyson," he whispers eventually, "I have only just found you. I could not face losing you,"

"I am fine Aragorn," I cut in, "I am healing even as we speak, I will be left with a scar but that is all I was lucky,"

"You were brave and foolish and I wish you wouldn't do such things and yet I know that you will always do such things and that is why I love you," he drops his hand from my face here and runs his fingers through his own hair in a gesture which I know means he's frustrated.

"Then you know there is no point worrying about it," I pause again before adding, "besides you are exactly the same and you let me spend nearly two whole days believing you were dead so it was revenge," I say cheekily and he chuckles a little.

"Only you my little one can make me laugh when I should weep or shout," he smiles leaning towards me and after checking that the room is empty kissing my lightly on the lips.

"You look tired my love," I say after another pause and he smiles at me.

"I shall rest some now, tomorrow we celebrate our victory,"

"What of Saruman?"

"He is dead," he replies and I nod knowing that he does not want to discuss it any further, at least not tonight although I have the feeling there is something that has happened that he will not be willing to tell me and I may have to coax out of Legolas instead. "Come let us rest and we will celebrate and see the others tomorrow," he says after a final long silence between us and he stands wearily pulling me carefully up with him.

"I am not sure who is supporting who here," I comment quietly and he chuckles again at me.

"I am perhaps more battle weary than I let myself believe," he whispers back and I almost stop at hearing my great and fearless and tireless warrior admit to this and feel I need to share with him too.

"You know I am glad that I was not awake when I was brought here from Helms Deep," I say in a very quiet voice, which I feel still echoes too much in the silent hallways.

"Why is that little one?" he asks equally as quietly.

"You will think me a coward,"

"I could never think that, you are the bravest person I know," he says with so much conviction that tears spring to my eyes.

"I am glad because… I fear that every time I see death… I do not see anything other than my family, my friends, the images from my nightmares and my past. I am scared that new images will be added to my nightmares. I am frightened that my nightmares will return. I am terrified of falling apart and appearing weak in front of others. Of not being able to hold it together in the face of death and so I am glad that I did not have to face that, does that make me terribly selfish?" for a few minutes we walk on in silence until we reach the door of a room that I do not recognise and here he stops and turns to face me.

"You are the most selfless person I have ever met my love. Your fear is natural and founded from a trauma few have experienced and you have handled everything with such bravery never doubt your heart Peyson or your courage and remember that you have a family in the fellowship and in me always," I am embarrassed to feel a few tears making tracks down my face at his little speech, and try to turn away blushing.

"You know it is not fair for you to be so handsome brave and eloquently spoken," I snip at him causing a chuckle to echo quietly around us.

"Come let us get some sleep,"

"Where are we?" I ask panic filling me slightly at the thought of him staying with me which suddenly feels less appropriate when we weren't in immediate danger of oncoming armies and enemies and I was after all brought up properly and the notion of sharing a bed with a man who was not my husband, let alone the future king of Gondor, was not good.

"It is the fellowships sleeping quarters, I made sure that you had a bed in here, I would not leave your side but I need rest and it is inappropriate for us to be alone in a room together," he smiles having clearly noticed my sudden awkwardness and I smile up at him and allow him to lead me into the room.

"Goodnight Aragorn," I sigh as he helps me to lie on my side and then settles down on his own bed facing me.

"Goodnight my little one,"

"I love you," I say in a whisper on impulse and I can see him smile even through the darkness.

"I love you too," he replies and within minutes I hear his breath even out as he slips into what is probably the first restful sleep he has had in many long nights.


	15. Chapter 15

I awake the next morning to hushed whispers and it takes a few minutes for me to work out where I am and whose voice they are. Opening my eyes slowly and pushing myself to a sitting position as I gaze around at the faces who are staring back at me suddenly quiet.

"Merry… Pippin," I manage at last overwhelmed with joy at seeing them, how had I not noticed them last night when Aragorn brought me here to sleep.

"Peyson," they both screech jumping forward to hug me which causes me to wince slightly but don't let them go.

"I am so glad you are both safe I was so worried," I say eventually as I let them go and look them both over.

"You had us plenty worried yourself lass," Gimli pipes up and I can feel a blush staining my cheeks slightly as I turn to see Gimli and Legolas watching me also.

"Sorry," I say after a second and they both smile,

"Just glad you're okay lass," Gimli grunts before turning to Merry and Pippin, "now young hobbits hows about we go and find ourselves some food so that you have enough energy to tell Peyson all about your adventures later," he says and they both readily agree and rush out leaving me alone with Legolas.

"Where is Aragorn?" I ask and he smiles at me,

"He is with the king and Gandalf do not worry he will be with you soon," he says almost cheekily and I feel my cheeks heat up even further.

"Right well…" I have no idea what I am attempting to say or do I merely want to alleviate my embarrassment slightly. I was very much aware of the fact that since I had grown close with these men and elves and hobbits and dwarf I had become increasingly bad at hiding my thoughts and feelings, Hallebrad would not be pleased with me, rangers are supposed to be almost elf like in their aloofness and I… well I was not!

"Come I will take you to get your dressings changed and then we will take a walk while we wait for the others to be finished," he says and I smile gratefully up at him and take the hand he offers me as we make our way to the healing houses.

"How do you know your way around so well?" I ask in confusion as he leads me without hesitation through a maze of corridors that have me completely lost.

"I scouted around when we arrived last night, I knew that Aragorn would want some time with you and I wanted to get my bearings before resting," he replies and I glance up at him once again surprised by his intelligence and tact.

"You're amazing you know," I say quietly and I hear him chuckle quietly.

"You are quite… amazing yourself my friend," he replies and I laugh too shaking my head but before I can say anything else we have reached the healers and I am led away to have my wounds redressed.

"Sir you cannot be in here," one of the healers fairly shrieks and I clutch my dress to my front as I half turn to see what is going on, relaxing slightly when I see Haldir standing in the doorway being blocked by an angry looking healer.

"What do you need Haldir?" I ask half smiling as he tries but fails once more to get past the woman blocking his path.

"I have elvish medicine for your back my lady, it will speed your healing,"

"Let him in," I say and although she grumbles a lot she eventually lets him through and he shoots me an almost thankful look as he settles behind me and strips off the final piece of bandage.

"It is healing well, you should continue to rest though or you risk tearing it and causing infection to set in," he murmurs as he applies the paste and rewraps my back.

"How long before I can be ready again?" I ask tensing slightly as I wait for his answer.

"Ready for what my lady?" I turn slightly to glare at him he knows very well what for why is he insisting that I spell it out for him I mean he is supposed to be my protector of sorts not a wind up merchant.

"To fight again?" I say in exasperation after a moments hesitation.

"You have not fought enough battles?" he asks in return. Is this going to be his way of supporting me, answering every question with another bloody question because I may have to take back the whole glad I saved his life if that is so.

"You know as well as I Haldir that until this war is over or I am dead I shall continue to fight, I have no choice but to protect those I care for and if they fight, I fight,"

"You are a good match for him,"

"I don't understand,"

"Aragorn has been a friend to me for many years and he is a noble man and fierce warrior he needs someone who is equally as noble and fierce as he is to match him," he smirks at me and I can feel myself blushing for what must be the millionth time in the last few weeks.

"I am neither of those things," I reply and he sighs before moving to stand up.

"If the wounds continue to heal as they are presently you can begin training again in three days," he says before leaving me to get dressed effectively ending the conversation so I can't argue with him about it.

As I leave the room I find Legolas waiting for me and he quickly takes my arm and begins to walk with me.

"You know I am not an invalid, I can walk by myself," I mutter to him as we pass by several people who shoot us curious looks.

"I know but maybe I have missed my good friend and am enjoying having her close by while she is safe and looking much better," he replies not glancing at me and although I know he does not mean me to I feel instantly very guilty.

"I'm sorry," I say immediately and I feel him turn to look at me more than see him.

"What are you sorry for Peyson?"

"For worrying you, for not being stronger, for not being there to finish the battle with you," I reply quietly.

"My friend you have nothing to apologise for, you fought bravely and you saved the life of a good friend of mine. I am just glad you are healing," he says and I squeeze his arm slightly in response his hand finding mine and returning the gesture slightly. We continue on in silence until we reach the outside and I breathe in deeply as the fresh air hits my face smiling as we sit on a small bench overlooking the land of Rohan.

"There you are," a voice says sometime later and I stir a little from where I had apparently fallen asleep against Legolas' shoulder and gaze around blearily for a second before my eyes settle on Aragorn's face as it appears in front of me.

"Hello," I whisper yawning and stretching a little as Legolas moves and Aragorn takes his place beside me.

"How are you feeling?" he asks and I smile up at him,

"Haldir says I can start training again in two days time," I reply and he smiles back at me a little shaking his head.

"I wish that you would not have to fight,"

"I wish the same for you but we both know that until this war is over neither of us can avoid it so it is best that I am prepared is it not?" he shakes his head at this again and pulls me to him gently.

"You are right my love though I wish you weren't," he sighs before shaking his head a little as if to clear his thoughts and continuing, "lady Eowyn has a dress for you,"

"For me? Why?" I ask in shock turning to face him.

"Tonight we celebrate as I told you last night and Lady Eowyn thought that you should wear a dress befitting your title,"

"Title. What Title? I have no title," my brow furrows in confusion at his words as I stare at him awaiting his answer.

"You are the future queen of Gondor my love,"

"I am a village girl," I retort in a mixture of fear and embarrassment.

"You are a warrior," he shoots back knowing that I would not argue too much with this and so I just glower at him a bit while he kisses my temple which surprises me as he… well we are usually so careful about being so affectionate in public. Okay so he is more than me but then I guess I didn't have much teaching as a child about the way I should behave around men, or more specifically a lover, as I have said before there weren't many options for me growing up and I was always for too focused on honing my fighting, language and tracking skills.

"So I should go and see her," I say quietly not really wanting to leave him and partly to change the subject too.

"I do not want you to, I want to have you with me for every second I can but I must meet with the King and Gandalf and you must prepare for the celebrations but I promise you that when this war is over I will be with you always," he tells me earnestly turning to face me fully.

"Aragorn you cannot promise such things you are to be the king of Gondor you will have too many responsibilities," I laugh.

"I have turned from that path as you well know," he argues and I laugh even more at that.

"You know as well as I that whatever happens you will do the right thing, that is why I love you," I say and he shakes his head again.

"Being with you is the right thing,"

"I wish it was and maybe it will be and I will do all I can to make sure that it can be but your duty comes first," I say stubbornly causing him to let out a huff of breath.

"My duty means nothing without you," he retorts and I laugh again,

"Do you remember when we were in Rivendell and we first told each other of our fears?" I ask changing tact slightly.

"Yes of course I do," he replies looking mildly confused,

"You walked me to my room telling me to rest and I complained you told me I was like a child sulking to stay up longer. I think my Lord that the tables have turned slightly and it is now I scolding the child who wants his own way," I finish with a smirk and he mock scowls at me before squeezing my hand tightly in his.

"Come my wise and beautiful warrior it is time you found Lady Eowyn and begin your preparations," he exclaims pulling me to my feet.

"I'd rather discuss logistics with you and the king," I say now choosing to sulk he knew I hated the girly stuff and would much rather just wear a tunic and breeches to the celebrations tonight but he just laughs at me and pulls me forwards towards the main hall.

It is several hours later when I am finally released from Eowyn and her maids looking completely ridiculous in my opinion in a long tightly fitted dress which is pulling slightly on my wounded back although I was too afraid to complain too much, my hair pulled this way and that until it is resting in long loose waves across my back and shoulders and they have even put powder on my face.

"Thank you for all you have done for me," I say in want I think is a gracious voice to Eowyn as we walk towards the hall where I can already hear the noises of festivities.

"You are most welcome my lady I have you to thank for helping to save the lives of many of my people," she replies and I smile tightly back at her not sure how to respond the the slight edge I hear in her voice. I'm not sure why but I feel like even though we are similar she does not like me.

"It sounds as if there is a lot of celebrating happening in there," I say instead feeling nervous suddenly as we get closer. I have never been good with bog crowds and lots of people, men specifically around ale and wine made me unfeasibly nervous for some reason.

"Indeed," she says before being interrupted as the doors are opened and suddenly she is gone and I am standing alone and feeling incredibly self conscious until a voice beside me relaxes me.

"My friend you look radiant," I turn to see Legolas and Haldir smiling at me and I beam back at them in relief.

"I feel ridiculous," I laugh and they smile wider at me,

"You look almost elf like how could that be ridiculous?" Haldir responds and I stare at him for a while trying to work out if he is joking. I have been known for nor cared about being beautiful or elf like, unless it was in skill with bow or blade and it makes me uncomfortable.

"I would feel better in my tunic with my bow strapped to my back," I say instead which makes them both laugh before they lead me to a table where I sit with Haldir while Legolas disappears with Gimli. I spend some time staring around the room trying to get to grips with the noise and crowd but I am finding it difficult until my eyes fix on the only person I really wanted to see.

He looks so handsome, and clean, I think to myself with a small smile his eyes sparkling as he looks up and for a second I think he is looking for me until I see Eowyn appear in front of him and his gaze fixed on her and his fingers brushing against hers as he accepts a drink, lingering for too long as his gaze does and my heart aches. It is worse than the time I saw him kissing Arwen when we first met because now… I thought… my chest hurt and I was barely aware of Haldir's hand on my arm as my entire body stiffens. I know he has seen what I have but I cannot bring myself to voice it.

"I feel sick, I think I shall get an early night," I gasp instead as I pull myself shakily to my feet.


	16. Chapter 16

I lurch across the hallway as quickly as I can trying to remain undetected which is fairly easy considering the party is still in full swing and make it the the hallway without incident. Once I am away from the crowd I move as quickly as I can towards the room we were all staying in and closing the door behind me I lean back against it my head resting on the door as I try to slow my hammering heart. Tears burned in my eyes and despite my best efforts made tracks down my cheeks as every insecurity I have had about myself, about men and about our relationship comes flooding to the forefront of my mind and feeling suddenly completely stupid for even trying to compete with women such as her I grab my tunic and breeches and rush to change hiding behind one of the screens to do so.

I am just braiding my hair as I hear the door open and feeling panic and apprehension wash over me I sink silently to the floor and listen hardly daring to breath.

"Put him over here," that is Legolas' voice and that snort is unmistakably Gimli's he must have passed out drunk forcing Legolas and someone else to carry him her to sleep it off I think to myself.

"Dwarves," Haldir's voice now replies and the distaste in his tone is almost enough to make me smile if it weren't for the terrible ache still pounding through my chest.

"Did you see where Peyson went?" Legolas asks him and I hold my breath as I wait to see what Haldir says to him.

"I did, she said she was tired and was coming to rest she must have decided to take a walk instead," he replies,

"It is strange, I would have expected her to be with Aragorn," even the mention of his name makes my already aching chest constrict painfully.

"He was somewhat preoccupied with Lady Eowyn," Haldir responds smoothly and I'm almost certain I hear Legolas growl softly at this news.

"He is a fool sometimes, I am going to speak to him,"

"Do you think she would want that?" Halide asks but thew door is already opening and closing and there is once again silence in the room apart from the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears and the humiliation burning in my cheeks.

It is maybe an hour later that I crawl from my hiding place and into my bed facing away from the door and pretending to be asleep as I hear various members of the fellowship enter and fall into their beds, all except Aragorn and Legolas. I am almost asleep when it happens, the exhaustion of my own heartache and the guilt I felt as soon as I closed my eyes and saw Frodo's face and felt the pain and loneliness and fear he must be feeling, washing over me and making every muscle in my body heavy with lethargy.

"Pip what are you doing?" I hear Merry's voice but don't turn over as I figure he is heading for some more food.

"Just want another look," his reply strikes as odd and I begin to turn over before jumping up fully as I hear his scream.

Why didn't I turn over before I should have known they were up to something. Pippin is on the floor holding some kind of ball in his hands that is glowing as he screams in agony unable to let it go as he convulses.

"Do something," Merry is yelling and panic fills me as Gandalf seems to still be sleeping deeply. A sudden calm pulses through me as I realise that I can help him, I had failed them at Amon Hen but I wouldn't now, I would not be weak now. Jumping forward I move the grab the ball aware just as I do so of the door crashing open and two figures standing in the shadows and then I am aware of nothing other than darkness and pain.

Looking around me I try to get my bearings in the pitch black darkness that surrounds me before shielding my eyes against the burning fire that suddenly appears before me. I take a step back but find my back against a wall and I open my mouth to scream but find all the air gone from my lungs leaving me to choke and gasp fro breath my throat and lungs burning in the intense heat.

"You will join me or you will die," the voice echoes around me and despite the blistering heat it seems to freeze the blood in my veins.

"I… will… never… join you," I gasp out with difficulty and then crumple to the floor screaming out as pain erupts through every nerve of my body. Suddenly the pain is gone and I can feel that I am no longer in that place I am back in the room with the fellowship and someone is leaning over me.

"Peyson… Peyson can you hear me?"

"Little one…" the voice is so panicked that for a moment I forget about how upset I am at him and everything to do with my life because it has just been put into startling context. My life is not important, no one other than Frodo and perhaps Aragorn are important.

"Mm… okay," I gasp still feeling the burning of the heat in my throat despite that fact that I new I was near no fire, fear pumping through my veins so strongly it made me shake despite the fact that I know I was safe.

"What happened? What did you see?" Gandalf demands suddenly appearing in front of me his face earnest and solemn his eyes showing the panic he tried to hide.

"Gandalf please she needs to rest," Aragorn pleads and I open my mouth to retort but Gandalf gets in before me.

"We do not have time for rest she must tell me what she saw," he admonishes almost harshly.

"I…" I clear my throat and attempt to sit up a little further despite the pounding in my head and the nausea that rushes through me at this action. I must be strong for Frodo now I think as I take a shaky breath and start again, "I was in a dark place, I don't know where other than that it was completely black everywhere and then there was this fire burning in front of me and it hurt so badly I tried to get away but there was a wall behind me and a voice filled my head. it echoed around everywhere and it was so… so evil it was like the blood was freezing inside of me even as my skin was blistering in the fire," I break of to pull in a choking breath here and feel someone's hand gripping my own tightly but don't have the energy to work out who it is.

"What did it say?" Gandalf's voice is urgent and it makes my fear for Frodo grow exponentially.

"It said that I would join him or I would die and I told it that I would never join him and then I just remember pain and screaming, then I was back here," I finish squeezing my eyes shut too afraid and exhausted to do anything else as I listen to them discuss things before moving to sleep themselves.

"Come little one you must sleep," Aragorn's voice washes over me and relaxes me until I remember why I had been in the room and not with him and then the new pain of his connection with Eowyn pulses through me too and it almost too much for me to contend with as I shudder beneath the blanket he has pulled over me. his hand lingers on my shoulder although he seems hesitant perhaps Legolas did speak to him after all but I am too tired to think on it now and drift into an uneasy sleep.

My sleep is plagued with nightmares all through the night, I lose count of how many times I wake up in a cold sweat screaming. it seems that even Galadriel's necklace is unable to help me now. By dawn I have given up the notion of sleep and instead quietly get up and head out for some fresh air breathing deeply as I pray for the cold air to rid me of the visions that haunted me every time I close my eyes and wake me up a bit.

"You are not well rested," a voice says beside me and I jump slightly as Legolas appears,

"I… nightmares," I finish simply knowing that he would understand without any need for me to elaborate.

"He loves you," he says quite suddenly causing a harsh gasp to be ripped from my throat as I spin to face him.

"You once told me he did not care for her but you did not see the way he looked at her last night," I say brokenly unable to hold eye contact with him.

"He is a man and men are stupid sometimes a pretty face…" I laugh bitterly here cutting him off and shocking myself at the harshness in my tone.

"If he is a man that can be swayed so easily by a pretty face then I am better leaving now for there are many hundreds of faces prettier than mine willing to sway him," I answer angrily.

"I did not say he was swayed Peyson, he was merely trying to spare her feelings,"

"You did not see…" I start again but this time he cuts me off.

"No you are correct I did not see the way he looked at her but I see the way he looks at you and I know that he loves you maybe the fault is not so much at his feet but at your own, lle il lle il ai' en' lye faarea ar' manka lle il a' ikotane lle amin mellon Peyson nan' amin tua lle manka lle ier il a' e'. (you do not trust him, you do not trust any of us enough and if you do not learn to do so you will find yourself alone. I am your friend Peyson but I cannot help you if you are not willing to believe in us.)" he is breathing heavily when he finishes having switched to elvish at the end of his speechh as two Rohan servants walk past us. I stand in shocked silence for a while trying to process what he has said and feeling guilty and stupid.

"Amin mellon amin estela amin vesta amin ikotane ie' amin mela ero n'ala amin ta amin il en' coiasira ar' ai' en' lle ar' amin yassen ta (I am sorry my friend, I do trust you, I promise I do. I just, I failed so badly at protecting those I love once before I am terrified it will happen again, I do not feel worthy of your time and attention any of you and I am struggling with it)," I respond and he gazes at me for a while before placing a hand on my shoulder and turning once more to gaze out over the city.

"I forget sometimes how much you have endured for one so young, I apologise my friend," he says eventually and I sigh.

"Sometimes I feel like I take one step forwards and then three backwards, this whole conversation feels like it could be one we had before we entered the mines all those weeks ago," I say eventually.

"A lot has changed since then but a lot stays the same also," he almost whispers into the air and I turn to look at him again as I feel Aragorn approach us and I tense. Despite everything we have just talked about the memories from last night are still too fresh in my mind and with everything else to deal with too my own self doubt is still to strong for me to forget it all.

"It doesn't matter though does it? Nothing matters except Frodo and that is who we should be focussing on," I say instead pulling away from the wall just as Aragorn reaches towards my hand and walking away aware of the fact that I have spoken those words before but not really able to process why, where or when or the significance. There is too much for me to deal with and the exhaustion I feel is creeping up on me.


	17. Chapter 17

It is later that day that we watch Gandalf ride away with Pippin. I sit with Merry for a long time that evening trying to offer him some comfort.

"He'll be okay Merry he's with Gandalf, Gandalf wouldn't let anything happen to him," I try when he still looks heartbroken.

"You nearly died," he murmurs,

"Gandalf wasn't with me then though and that was my own fault, Pippin will be safe and soon we will be joining him," I respond.

"Peyson is right my friend and besides look what the two of you achieved you were able to bring down Isenguard," Aragorn's voice sounds from behind us and I stiffen slightly despite myself as I feel him move closer.

"But we were together then," Merry almost wails and it tears at my heart to see him so scared for someone he loves.

"I know what it is to fear for those you love for those who are your family Merry but we must be strong now. Come let us rest and tomorrow I can start training again and I shall need a partner to spar with I think you will do just perfectly," I smile standing up and pulling him with me.

An hour or so later Merry has finally fallen asleep and feeling suddenly hungry I decide to go and get some bread or something and head down the long corridors towards the kitchen. Hearing voices I slow and peep around the corner my breath catching in my throat as I see Aragorn standing with Eowyn sword in hand looking as though he has just sparred with her. Their voices are low as the talk to one another and I can see the longing for him in every movement she makes and it makes me ill. Having lost my appetite I step silently away and make my way back to bed where I lay silently staring at the ceiling. Aragorn enters sometime later and I can feel him leaning over me to check if I am asleep, feel his fingers brushing against my skin but I have become good at pretending and soon he seems satisfied that I am indeed sleeping and sighing softly retreats to his own bed and is asleep with minutes. As soon as I hear his breath even out I open my eyes again and resume my staring, I am too afraid to sleep knowing that the nightmares will grip me and wake everyone else to they need to sleep, especially Aragorn because despite how I feel right now I still love him, just as much as when I thought he hated me, just as much as when he told me he loved me and maybe thats why it hurts so much thinking that he could be so easily swayed.

The next day I try my best to cover my tiredness and achieve it fairly well as the excitement of being able to train again and not just sit around grips me. It takes me some time to warm back into it and by the time afternoon comes around my back is aching terribly and I am unable to hide it from Haldir who, along with Legolas, immediately take me to the healers and after getting them to help me undress and cover my front they attend to my back.

"It has not reopened," Haldir tells me which causes me to release some of my tension.

"This soreness is to be expected, you have pushed yourself too hard as usual, if you hope to be ready for battle you must rest more," Legolas chips in which causes me to glare at him and argue straight away.

"But I must be prepared, if I am out of practise what good will I be?" I almost shout.

"What good are you if you are too weak to fight at all?" Legolas growls back at me and I flinch a little causing him to look instantly regretful.

"I just hate feeling so useless, I hate sitting here knowing that Frodo is… is out there and I am doing nothing," I whisper after a pause and as Haldir redresses my back after applying more elvish medicine of some description, Legolas places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it lightly.

"Some sleep would do you good also," he points out quietly and I turn to look at him knowing that I don't need to say anything, that he understands because he's been there before, through he nightmares and the heartache.

It is two days later when after several hours of restless tossing and turning I once again give up the ides of sleep and silently get up and make my way outside.

"You must try to sleep Peyson it is halting your healing," Legolas' voice startles me so much that I stifle a yelp as I spin to see both he and Haldir standing behind me.

"You scared me," I manage after I have calmed my wildly beating heart.

"You are not alert because exhaustion clouds your senses," Haldir reprimands me and I glance down at my feet in slight shame.

"I'm sorry, I try honestly but there's so much… I'm so afraid… and then I'm ashamed of being afraid when Frodo…" I break off unable to finish my sentence, my tiredness making me weak as tears slip unbidden down my cheeks.

"It is okay Peyson, we are your friends and we are here to help you," Legolas soothes me gently placing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me inside. Before I know it I am in a small room next to the one the fellowship share and Legolas has guided me to sit on the bed in there while they sit either side of me.

"What's going on? What are you doing?" slight panic creeping into my voice.

"Do you trust me Peyson?" Legolas responds and I stare into his eyes for a long moment before answering.

"Yes," I say firmly and he smiles softly at me and nods his head slightly.

"Peyson we want to try and help you sleep using an old Elvish method to calm you. It is somewhat like meditation and all you have to do is lie back and close your eyes and relax, Aragorn and the others are just on the other side of the wall and nothing will happen to you if you begin to have a nightmare I shall wake you just as I always have done okay?" He says and I nod suddenly realising that I am already lying down my body sinking into the mattress my eyes drifting closed. I am aware of them talking to me of warm and reassuring hands resting one on each of my own and of a safe warmth spreading through me as I drift away.

Opening my eyes I am somewhere else, a lot like when I touched the ball that Pippin had the other night except that this time I felt safe and protected. The sun was warm against my skin and I could hear birds in the trees as I gaze around me.

"You are troubled," the voice has a sing song quality to it and although I turn to see who it is who has spoken I do not feel threatened by it.

"Arwen?" I ask in complete shock as I see the beautiful elf in front of me she smiles and inclines her head before moving towards a bench and gesturing for me to join her.

"You are so tired child," she says almost sadly and I duck my head unable to hold her gaze.

"I… there are nightmares they keep me from sleeping," I say in barely a whisper knowing that she would hear me. "How is this possible? How am I here? Where are we?" I ask suddenly as I look up trying to change the subject and work out what is going on at the same time.

"Elves, some of us, have the ability to communicate with each other through dreams," she replies and I frown in confusion.

"I am not an elf," I point out slowly and she smiles,

"Of this I am aware but as my grandmother told you some weeks ago you do have a touch of the sight, I believe it is stronger than you or anyone may know but only time will tell but that is for another time," she smiles as I continue to try to process these confusing facts.

"That's why I have the nightmares?" I work out eventually and she nods.

"Yes although when Aragorn is with you and you are at peace with each other the nightmares are lessened because your mind is at ease,"

"Aragorn and I… he…" I trail off not knowing what to say but she simply places her hand over mine and uses her other hand to pull my chin up so that I am looking her in the eye.

"Do you remember a time when you believed that he could not love you because he was in love with me?" she asks and I wince visibly at the memory of that pain and nod slightly, "did you believe him when he told you he loved you and only you?" she asks now and I nod again instantly.

"He could not lie to me, I would know," I whisper.

"Then why do you doubt him now?" she asks and I can feel the tears leaking down my face but I am unable to stop them and for a long time I am unable to answer her.

"The way he looked at her… I know she… and she is so noble, she is royalty," I manage at last.

"You think her a better match for him?" she asks and I shake my head more tears making their way down my face as I struggle to control my emotions.

"I… no… I love him but…"

"And he loves you that is all that you need to know child, I have seen the future, I have seen your paths. Eowyn believes she loves him true but she will find soon enough that it is merely an infatuation for a man who treats her as an equal for the first time, much like the feelings Aragorn once believed he harboured for me until he met you," she smiles at me as I struggle to breath through my tears.

"What do I do?" I gasp out eventually ashamed of how weak I am being in front of her but she simply smiles and leans forward towards me grasping my head between her hands.

"Go to him and speak to him of your fears and your nightmares and be at peace when you ride to battle," she says earnestly kissing me on the forehead and then releasing me to a feeling of falling into darkness.

Sitting up I am gasping for breath sweat glistening across my body and Aragorn's name dying on my lips before I even register that it is me who has screamed out his name. It takes less than a minute for the door to crash open Legolas and Haldir to offer a very brief explanation and for my shaking limbs to be cradled in his. The feeling is better than I could have hoped for or imagined, like come home after a lifetime away and on my own. It sounds so ridiculous to think that being estranged from him for a couple of days could evoke such a strong reaction but I honestly felt lost without him. Maybe it is because he is what I cling to now that I have no family no friends other than him and the others in the fellowship, maybe it is because my love for him is almost destructively strong or because this war is so destabilising that I am holding onto any stability I can and him not being there is what made my reaction so strong, whatever the reason I never wanted to let doubt tear me from him again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I repeat over and over again in a strangled whisper as he rocked me gently in his arms.

"What are you apologising for little one?" he asks eventually when I have calmed down a bit and my shaking is nothing more than the occasional shudder.

"For doubting you, for doubting us," I answer him quietly and he sits for a minute in what appears to be shocked silence.

"So that is why you have been pulling away from me," he says at last and I nod a tiny bit.

"I saw you at the celebrations with Eowyn, the way you gazed at each other and she is so beautiful and she is royalty and I began to worry that you might think that she is a better match for you, that you had chosen wrongly when you chose me," I say in a tiny voice unable to look at him as I feel the burning in my cheeks and the thundering of my heart as the seconds tick by and he doesn't answer me that age old panic and doubt surging through me without restraint.

"Peyson," he sighs after what feels like hours and I nod my head to acknowledge that I have heard him still staring at my fingers where they twisted in my lap unable to look up for fear of what I would see in his face. His fingers, callused and rough but so gentle as they touched me, suddenly grip my chin and pull my face up to force me to meet his eye. "You are my other half Peyson, I love you and no one else I promise you this," he starts and I let out an embarrassing whimper as more tears escape my eyes, I really should have learnt from the last time that sleep deprivation makes me stupid, irrational and emotional. "I am the one who should apologise, I sometimes forget that you have so little… experience in matters of the heart and I admit that I was gazing upon Lady Eowyn but it was only because I felt such pity for her. I realise that she harbours certain… feelings and I do not wish for anyone to be hurt but I could never look at another woman when I have you," he finishes still gripping my chin gently and using his other hand to brush the hair back from my face.

"Can we just draw a line under it and forget it happened then?" I say hopefully praying to the Valar that we can brush over the whole incident before I make any more of a fool out of myself.

"You need to sleep," he responds which I am taking as a yes whether that's how he meant it or not.

"I am afraid," I admit and he smiles gently at me before pulling me back into his arms.

"Do you remember at Helms Deep when we shared a few moments of rest together before the battle?" he asks in a whisper.

"Yes," I reply smiling as I think of it.

"This is as it was then, we are not married and I should not stay but…" he shifts moving to lean over me as he senses me readying to send him away to save his honour, "you are more important to me than anything else and if staying here with you and holding you in my arms is what it will take to make sure you are rested and ready to fight should… when we need to then that is what will happen. Besides Legolas is outside the door as is Haldir they shall protect both of our honour," he smiles leaning down to kiss me so thoroughly I feel as if he has stolen the very breath from my lungs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys so heres the next chapter. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the reviews they have really made me feel fantastic and like I am doing the right thing in keeping at it. I have tried to take on board your comments and I am considering adding a few from Aragorn's POV chapters so that you guys get those conversations too so let me know if that is something you'd like and keep the reviews coming.**

Waking up the next morning I roll over yawing and realise that I am alone and it takes me a moment to work out what has happened and where I am. I simultaneously cringe and smile at the memories of last night knowing that I had made peace with Aragorn but that I had made a complete fool out of myself too. For a long moment I stay still as I work out whether I can hide in here all day to avoid seeing Legolas or Haldir who will no doubt mock me relentlessly whilst not saying anything and just appearing superior and aloof. Bloody Elves, if I didn't care for them both so much I'd hurt them. Eventually though my stomach growls and the thought of Merry being alone sways me to get up and leave the room in search of both things.

"Is she fit to ride?" The voice is clear although low and as soon as I hear it I slow to a stop and hold my breath as I listen. I really am making a bad habit of listening and spying on conversations but in my defence they are usually talking about me and it is not my fault if I happen to come across people who are talking about me.

"It does not matter much if she is she will ride either way," that is Legolas' voice and I can almost hear the hint of pride in it which makes me smile despite myself.

"It would be unwise to let her travel if she is wounded still," I think that is Kind Theodon talking.

"She will not be left behind and I would not leave her," Aragorn says firmly and my heart swells.

"Surely if you told her…"  
"I will tell her nothing her decisions are her own," Aragorn says and by his tone it is clear there is no room for debate.

"Haldir, how is her back?" Legolas asks and I can tell he is trying to diffuse the tension that I can almost feel from around the corner.

"It is healing quickly, if she rests and if she continues to have the paste applied then there is a chance that it will not tear in battle or become infected," he says and I tense despite myself feeling the tingling across my scar as they discuss it.

"So there is a chance that it will?" Gimli interjects, thanks a lot Gimli I did not need that pointed out to them.

"You know she once told me that we may be destined for greater things as we had both survived events which we should not have, we must trust in the Valar to protect her as we do for all of us," Aragorn says and I can sense that the conversation is over so I push away from the wall slightly and attempt to make a little more noise as I round the corner and to their credit the small group of warriors quickly spring apart looking slightly guilty.

"Good morning," I smile at them politely and they all incline their heads to me,

"Good morning Melamin (my love)," Aragorn replies and I instantly feel a blush stain my cheeks as Legolas and Haldir exchange what I would describe as grins, which let me tell you is an odd expression on an elf.

"How are you feeling my friend?" Legolas asks after a second of silence and I smile at him,

"Brilliant thank you I think I am ready to train some more today,"

"I am afraid that will not be possible," Haldir replies and I frown at him slightly.

"Why not?" I ask preparing for an argument,

"Because we are riding out to Gondor's aid within the hour little one," Aragorn says quietly and I spin to look at him.

"Oh right… okay… I'll go and get ready," I say quietly and turn to rush back to the room.

It is no more than fifteen minutes later when I hear someone enter the room and shut the door behind them as I am packing my bag and preparing my weapons and without turning I know it is Aragorn. There is a sense of calm that washes through me whenever he is close to me and I have somehow over the months I have known him become so familiar with his scent and the way he moves that I do not need to be looking at him to know when he has entered a room and I wonder briefly if it is the same for him, part of me wants to ask him but a bigger part is far too scared to do that so instead I just continue to examine my bow and my arrows until he appears by my side and sits on the bed letting out a soft sigh.

"How are you feeling?" he asks eventually and I stop what I am doing and look at him for a long moment.

"I am well," I say quietly and he quirks an eyebrow at me.

"I mean how are you feeling about riding out to battle?" this time I let out a little huff of air as I slump down beside him and stare at the arrow I am still holding in my hands for a while whilst I try to formulate an answer.

"I'm not sure," I say at last, "I am scared about fighting because battle is frightening and I am terrified of losing you, of losing any of you but at the same time I am relieved that at last we are doing something to help Frodo, I am so scared for him Aragorn, of letting him down and breaking my promise to him but what worries me the most is that I am a little excited about moving again of being useful of fighting, does that make me a terrible person?" I ask as I finish risking a quick glance at him.

"It makes you human little one, I too feel much the same as you do about it," he says and I look at him fully and can almost feel the relief flooding through me and across my face as he smiles a little.

"Then we must face these things together as we do everything and hope that the Valar will protect us," I say quietly and he nods his head leaning forward to place a kiss on my forehead.

"That we must, I must go and help the king will you be okay to find your way down to the stables and to Legolas, Gimli and Merry?" he asks and I nod with a little laugh.

"You know sometimes I think you forget that I am able to care for myself, I once fended for myself for three days with an arrowhead in my shoulder after fighting a pack of orc," I say and feel guilty when I see him flinch a little at this.

"I know I just… try to forget that those things have happened to you it makes my heart ache," he sighs and my chest constricts at this admission.

"You are sometimes too perfect for your own good you know, no wonder every female that meets you is instantly in love with you," I say with a mock scowl done partly to alleviate the sombre atmosphere around us, which it does as he laughs a little as he stands, but also because it is true, I mean if he tried to be a bit more like an average man, annoying and irrational and inappropriate and women may not fawn over him quite so much.

It is several days later when we finally reach the camp where the troops are gathering ready to march on to Gondor and I have enjoyed spending time with my companions in the way we used to, even if there are several hundred others along for the ride this time. It is a strange thing to say that I feel more peaceful sleeping on the ground with the risk of being attacked ever there and clutching at weapons as I sleep than I did when I was at Edoras but I feel like I am maybe at least more help to Frodo here. Like I am doing something to keep my promise to him, even if I can't be with him.

"Little one are you well?" the voice instantly pulls me out of my pondering and I turn to see Aragorn standing behind me smiling at me a little as if he knows I have been daydreaming, who am I kidding of course he knows.

"I'm fine how are you?" I reply and he steps forward squeezing my fingers briefly before stepping back again as if worried that too many of the men would see our close proximity.

"I am as well as can be, I must go meet with King Theodan but wanted to ask if I can see you after," he says in almost a whisper.

"Of course you can, you never need to ask to see me," I smile back at him and he seems to relax a little and the thought of him being nervous about asking me to spend time with me makes my heart swell a little in love for him.

"I will be back soon I promise Melanin," he says staring at me for a while as if trying to memorise my face before finally moving away and I sigh as I watch him leave staying for sometime afterwards as if unable to move away from that spot.

It must be at least three hours later when I eventually decide to move and go to find Aragorn or the others and the sun was well on its way to setting.

"Aragorn," the voice is Eowyn's and I stop as soon as I hear it, hidden in the shadows of a tent to the side of them both I watch as she rushes towards him. A surge of jealousy and anxiety washes through me so suddenly I almost feel lightheaded and it so consumes me that it takes me a moment or two to realise that Aragorn is saddling his horse and attaching his pack to it and I furrow my brow in confusion at this. "Why are you doing this? The war lies to the east, you cannot leave when we are on the eve of battle the men need you," she continues in a pleading voice and I have to begrudgingly agree with her, he stops what he is doing but still does not turn to face her.

"Why have you come?" he asks,

"Do you not know?" her reply has me gripping the edge of the tent I am standing beside, my breath rattling in my lungs as I await his reply, every fear and anxiety I have had waiting to be dismissed or proved right in the next few seconds as she lays it all out for him. He turns to face her now so that his back is fully to me although I can still hear every word.

"It is but a shadow and a thought that you love, I cannot give you what you seek," he says quietly his hand reaching for her cheek and grazing his fingers over it lightly and several things happen to me all at once. I feel so relieved that my legs very nearly give way as I remember to breathe for the first time in what feels like years and my lungs burn with relief as oxygen floods them, I am also filled with guilt that I could ever have doubted him and a sense of inadequacy next to his perfection. Mostly though, I feel terrible for Eowyn as I watch her face crumple with his rejection, I knew too well what it was to feel love for this beautiful, perfect man and fear it was not reciprocated, to have those feeling confirmed must be unbearable, I just prayed she would find her own Aragorn, someone who loved her as much as she loved him. "Peyson," the voice is quiet and drags me from my thoughts to see that she is gone and Aragorn is now standing in front of my his horse behind him.

"Where are you going?" I ask just as quietly, choosing not to mention that I had overheard the conversation, I can tell from the way that he is looking at me that he already knows.

"I must leave through the pass in the mountains to… I hope to get help… more arms that way," he says and I stare in open shock at him for a while, "come with me,"

"But…" I'm not really sure what to say to that so I stand for a second in shock and continue to stare at him until his fingers reach mine and set my skin on fire as they always do.


	19. Chapter 19

I am torn so suddenly back to reality this time that it rips a gasp from me as I stare up at him.

"I had a visit from Lord Elrond," he is saying now and I glance up and pay more attention.

"What did he say?" I ask my fingers now gripping his and neither of us too concerned for any who may see us in the darkness of the camp.

"He has said that I must take the Dimholt road, the sword has been reforged and it is our only hope at a victory," he does not seem too convinced but I can tell that his trust in Lord Elrond is what is leading him.

"You mean to get the dead army to join?" I ask as comprehension dawns on me and he nods, "what is wrong?" I ask when I see the hesitation in his stance.

"I turned from that path Peyson I do not know if I am strong enough to do this," he sighs and I smile at him suddenly before letting a giggle escape causing him to furrow his brow at me.

"You have so little faith in yourself Aragorn, you are not you ancestors you are your own man and I know that you are strong enough to do whatever it is you need to,"

"How can you be so sure?" he asks and my chest constricts slightly at the vulnerability that he is displaying, knowing that he must truly love me to let me see him in this way.

"I know because the man I love has shown me nothing but strength and loyalty since the moment I met him and I trust him more than anything or anyone in this world," I whisper taking a step closer to him and relishing the look of adoration that he gives me his fingers tightening in their grip around my own.

"So you will come?" he says and my own heart breaks a little as I realise what I must say.

"I cannot," I whisper and he doesn't look angry, rather he looks resigned and almost nods,

"I can do nothing to persuade you otherwise?" he asks instead his voice quieter than I have ever heard it and I shake my head trying to hold back the tears that are so desperate to escape.

"I must stay here and ride with the others, I feel… I think the men they may need the reassurance but I will see you there and you will be home at last," I reply smiling a little whilst I swallow past the lump in my throat.

"We shall be home," he says smiling too although I can see that there is pain behind the smile too.

"Yes," I say unable to get anything else out and suddenly I am in his arms and he is inhaling my scent as I am his and then he is gone and I am left swaying on my feet in the absence of him.

Slowly I walk back to the camp and find a spot alone by a small campfire, I know that Legolas and Gimli have gone with him, I'm not sure how I know it is a feeling more than anything but I am indescribably pleased that he has their support. For a long time I sit alone and try not to think about how much I already miss him, how my heart aches knowing that I may never see him again and I had not spent enough time with him.

"You are still here?" Eowyn's voice startles me a little and I am instantly wary having overheard their earlier conversation.

"I… yes," I say not really knowing what to say to her as she sits opposite me and stares at me intently making me feel incredibly nervous suddenly.

"He asked you to stay?" she asks although I can tell by her tone that she suspects this may not be true.

"No, he asked me to go with him," I answer and she nods her head,

"Then why did you stay?" she asks and I sigh before looking up at her questioning once again why I had decided to stay.

"It was his destiny to go alone, he had to…" I trail off not really knowing what else to say.

"And what of yours?" she asks quietly,

"I don't know," I shrug, "ride to battle tomorrow and hope that I survive and see him again," I add and for a long time we fall silent.

"I wish I was allowed to ride to battle in freedom like you, you cannot imagine my jealousy," she says in almost a whisper and I look up at her startled into silence for a further few seconds before my brain catches up and is able to think of a reply.

"I am jealous of many things you have that I do not, not least of all your beauty and grace and elegance, you exude an air of royalty and nobility and authority wherever you go. How can I hope to be like that in any way if we survive this?" I answer and she laughs suddenly which shocks me still further.

"How silly we have been," she manages to gasp out eventually,

"What do you mean?" I ask shifting in the cool breeze that has whipped up around us.

"We are two women fighting to survive in a world dominated and controlled by men. We should be friends and allies no matter what else is going on," she says and I feel suddenly tearful and in desperate need of a friend who could understand things the men could not.

"I have had no woman to talk to since my mother was killed," I whisper eventually and she is suddenly beside me her hand on my arm.

"Then let us be friends to each other, you ride to battle as a free woman tomorrow and I wish to ride too but cannot do it without hiding," she says quietly and I feel indescribably thankful and pleased that an atmosphere of wariness that has always surrounded us seems to have dissipated in the evening breeze during the course of our conversation.

"No-one should be kept from fighting in battle if it is what they truly want, I shall help to conceal your identity," I say solemnly and she smiles back at me before her own expression becomes sombre too and she pulls on my arm slightly to turn me to face her.

"I am sorry," she says quietly, "my… feelings for Lord Aragorn led me to behave inappropriately towards you," she finishes and I marvel once again at this woman's bravery at facing things head on.

"I am sorry too. For letting my own insecurities get in the way of what should have been a great friendship much sooner. You are an incredible woman Eowyn I know you will find a man worthy of your attentions one day," I say and try to make her look me in the eye so she can see how sincere I was but she only holds eye contact with me for a second before awkwardly gazing away and mumbling something incoherent.

"We should rest," she says after a while and I nod with a little sigh, not relishing the thought of trying to rest with none of the fellowship there but Merry, I had not been separated from Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli since this had begun, except for the time after Helms Deep but I was unconscious then so it doesn't really count.

"Yes I suppose we should," I answer but I stay where I am for a long time and she seems to understand as gets up and takes her leave allowing me to think, to mourn the sudden loss of my closest friends, my family now and pray to the Valar that I would see them again.

The next morning as I mount my horse and am careful to make sure that both Eowyn and Merry are concealed on the outskirts of the army so they could ride to battle too I am suddenly struck with nerves and try as I might I cannot seem to make them disappear.

"Lady Peyson?" the voice is soft and questioning and looking up into Haldir's face I know he can see exactly what I am feeling.

"I'm fine," I say automatically and he shakes his head at me slightly, motioning his horse forward so that he is right beside me, his voice so low that no one would possibly hear us.

"I can feel your panic my lady you must breathe, I will allow no harm to come to you this day," he is so sure and calm that for a second I hate him and want to shout at him like a petulant child. I want to tell him that the last time we were in battle it was I that had saved him and nearly died doing it, that every single time I had entered a battle in this war some one I loved or had grown close to had been killed or lost or injured but I didn't because he was right, I knew he would protect me to his last breath.

"I know… thank you," I whisper back, putting up my internal walls trying to block from him that I wasn't really feeling any calmer but that for the sake of those around me, especially Eowyn and Merry, I had to at least pretend to be confident in our chances.

"How is your back, you did not come to see me last night to have your dressings checked?" he asks and I glance at him whilst formulating an answer.

"It is well enough to fight, I feel almost as if it never happened," I lie so convincingly that it scares me a bit but I was terrified that if I told him the truth I would not be allowed to fight and that is something I could not stand. The truth was that I didn't know how it was, that it tingled every time I moved it too quickly as if it was about to rip apart and I had not practised for some days because of it. The truth was that I was scared I was too out of practise, too weak and too vulnerable to be much good in this battle and that I was pretty sure I would not live to see another dawn.

"Good then let us go to the king he has asked that you ride with him this day," he says and I nod tightly at him glancing around to give a tiny reassuring smile to my hidden companions and then follow him forwards.

It is many hours before we reach the crest of battle and the smell of blood is almost overpowering even from such a distance. Sounds and smells that would not leave my memory for many years to come. Cresting the hill we stop and line up, observing for a moment the devastation being dealt to Gondor and the great white city of Minis Tirith. I struggle to swallow the scream of despair that desperately wants to escape my throat as I gaze out upon what was certain to be one of my final sights on this earth and a sudden terrible surge of injustice, guilt and sorrow rushes through me as I think about Aragorn and my longing to see him one last time. I wait until Theodan begins to talk and gradually make my way down the line to Eowyn and Merry who look as terrified as I feel.

"How are you?" I ask in a whisper and they both look at me with wide fearful eyes.

"All my life I have longed to be treated as an equal to men, to be allowed to fight battles as they do and now I am here I fear I will be too scared to deal a single blow," she whispers back and I sigh softly knowing exactly how she feels because it is how I feel every time I look out upon battle.

"You are the bravest woman I have ever met, every word you speak and action you take shows your bravery. You will fight as well as any man today and together we will do our best to win this battle and help Frodo," I say and am shocked by how much conviction I hear in my own voice.

"Stick together?" Merry's voice asks almost pleadingly and I smile down at him,

"Always," I reply just as the cry to charge to battle begins to erupt and with one last look at each other the three of us and charging headlong into what can only be certain death.


	20. Chapter 20

More than anything I am overwhelmed by the number of different species, races and creatures that were spread across the huge fields and plains in front of the city. I could see the burning of parts of the city and desperately prayed that the innocent women, children and men were safe and protected by Gandalf and the soldiers that were not fighting or dying on the fields.

Panic rose in my chest so quickly that for a second I lost sight of what I was doing, who I was, what I was fighting for. For a split second everything around me stilled, everything was silent and I gazed around wildly aware that my horse was galloping beneath me but unable to hear anything above the pounding of my own heartbeat. Then just as suddenly as it had started the silence and stillness is over and the clashing of metal on metal, flesh against flesh sets my teeth on edge. Taking a deep breath I throw myself into battle before I am able to talk myself out of it and barely pause to breathe as I fend off attack after attack.

It cannot have been more than two hours but I am exhausted, I am covered in the blood of my enemies and it has mixed with my own from the nicks I have received. I lost sight of Eowyn and Merry some minutes ago and am trying desperately to concentrate on my own battle and not to become distracted with looking for them but it is difficult.

"Peyson," the shout is panicked and causes my own heart beat to speed up as I spin breathing a sigh of relief as I see Ewoyn and Merry riding up beside me both looking terrified but unharmed.

"Look," Merry shouts and I turn my head in the direction he is pointing and gasp out loud as I see the huge creatures hurtling towards us. They are the biggest things I have ever seen, great legs as thick as tree trunks holding up a body the is bigger than a ship and so thick and heavy that it could surely break through any barrier. Their heads complete with huge sets of tusks which had been adorned with deadly wires designed to wipe out as many of our horses and men as possible. My blood runs cold as I see atop their backs basket type contraptions housing men armed with deadly bows.

"Re form the line," the command comes and I obey, with Haldir beside me and Eowyn and Merry on my other side.

"I wished all my life for this chance and now I do not know if I am ready," Eowyn says to me quietly and I glance at her before setting my gaze ahead.

"You have survived this far and we will survive the rest together, Aragron will be here soon we will win this fight," I say somehow managing to inject a conviction and confidence I'm not entirely sure I feel into my voice and I am glad of it as I see their own resolves harden a little.

"Charge," the cry is deafening even over the sound of battle around us the cry to charge seems to echo in my own ears as I find myself screaming out in response and kicking my horse into action. It seems like seconds later that I have lost sight of the others and a force so strong it vibrates through me as it throws both me and my horse to the ground. Grunting I try desperately to fill my lungs with the air that has just been knocked out of them.

"Female," something snarls behind me and on instinct I roll to the side and thrust upwards with my sword managing to impale the orc on it and I relish the slight look of shock on it's face as I kill it before I push it off and pull myself to my feet. Gazing around I realise that my poor horse would not be getting up again and feel a sudden pain in my chest for all those innocent beings that now lay slaughtered on these battle fields but before I can spend too long thinking on it I am thrown back into battle.

On the ground I am forced to engage in hand to hand combat more than I had wanted to and I am already feeling the pain in my back as the fighting pulls on my wound. I am tiring quickly and beginning to lose hope of this ever being over, I had thought that watching wave after wave of orc attack Helm's Deep had felt desperate and futile but it had been nothing compared to this. I longed for Aragorn's face to appear before me and for some salvation to arrive but I felt as if it never would.

"That still only counts as one," wait a minute, that voice. I know that voice. I spin wildly looking for Gimli hope blooming in me with every heartbeat.

"Gimli," I shout the word dying on my lips as something heavy hits me and blackness descends upon me quickly as the ground flies up to meet my face.

As thoughts begin to seep back into my mind and the power of my limbs seems to return also I roll onto my side slightly trying not to hiss as the pain in my back, the wound was on the verge of splitting again if it had not already I was sure of it. I manage to somehow get to my knees and I sit for a while trying to stop the earth from spinning beneath me, my hand reaching up to touch the wet blood on the side of my face and head. It seems that an enemy had thought that blow was enough to kill me, I have been lucky so far this fight, I do not seem to be injured anywhere else and after a second of searching I locate my sword and pull myself to my feet. It is only as I do this and begin to stumble around that I realise there is a hush over the fields. The battle is over and I had no idea if I was the only one who survived or not. A sudden rush of fear engulfs me as I imagine a world where I was alone again at the mercy of Sauron who seemed to constantly be in my head since the incident back at Edoras.

"Peyson," I am startled out of my panic at the sound of the voice and look around to see Pippin rushing towards me and I collapse to my knees as I embrace him trying to soothe his anguish as he sobs into my tunic despite the desperate need to ask who has been injured or killed for there could be no other reason for such grief.

"What is wrong my friend?" I ask in a whisper and after a while he pulls away enough to look up at me,

"It's Merry, he's hurt Peyson I think he might be dying and Lady Eowyn too they have been taken to the houses of healing," he replies in a broken voice and his eyes are so full of pain that my heart breaks.

"Then we must go and be with them so they can see us when they wake up," I say trying to be strong for him although guilt and fear filled me as I stood and took his hand in mine.

"You truly think they will be okay? Aragorn looked so worried," he says and I almost stop breathing at the sound of his name, he is here then and he is okay. I sped up a little although my steps were still faltering my breath almost a wheeze as we make our way through the city.

"This way," a woman directs us and we follow quietly and obediently until we find ourselves in the doorway to the healing houses. Pippin suddenly pulls away from my grasp and darts towards a pallet on which I can see the tiny form of Merry lying and I am about to step in and follow him when I see him. My whole world stops for a second so great is the relief that I feel knowing that he is safe and alive. His brow is furrowed as he is bent over the body of Eowyn attempting to heal her but he looks relatively unharmed and for that I instantly send a thank you to the Valar and it is in this moment that he glances up as he finishes with Eowyn and catches my eye. His mouth opens slightly and his entire body shifts the tiniest amount, from the outside, for an onlooker it may not look like much but if you could see his eyes, you would see the joy and love and relief in them as I do and I feel like I breathe the first true breath since he left and Valar did it hurt. I sit suddenly slumping against the wall and hissing slightly in pain as I do so and he is beside me in a second.

"Little one?" his voice is tight, too tight like he is exhausted and worried, and doesn't know what to do and I feel my heart break a little more than it already had done at the thought of him being so troubled.

"I am well, just tired and relieved," I say looking up at him and offering him a small smile, "Go do what you do best," I add and he lets his hand linger over mine for a second longer and I shiver at the feel of his body so close to mine despite the fact that we cannot touch, or kiss or do anything especially here, and then he is gone and I sit still watching the blur of people wash past me.

"Peyson," I wake with a start at the sound of my name and rub my eyes as I gaze around blearily before focusing on Legolas' face in front of mine.

"You're safe," I breathe feeling more relieved than I can say as I see the evidence of what I had thought. I had known that he was safe, I would have seen it in Aragorn's face were it otherwise but to see him in front of me confirming it was the proof that had me finally relax a little.

"I am well my friend," he smiles, "but we must be somewhere, there is a meeting being held and Aragorn has requested your presence," he says and holds out a hand to me. I take it and pull myself up wincing at the pain in my back. "You are wounded?" he asks looking concerned and I shake my head quickly.

"I am fine, just tired and sore from a long day of fighting," I reply quickly and after a second longer he nods his head and we move off, navigating our way through the network of corridors until we eventually reach the throne room from which I can already hear voices.

"Legolas, Peyson we were just discussing the idea of a nice ride to Mordor," Gandalf says as we enter and I stop and stare at him as if he is completely crazy and assume that Legolas is doing the same until he shifts beside me and heads further into the room.

"A diversion, for Frodo," he says slowly and Gandalf nods as I feel a small smile spread across my face, finally I can do something to help Frodo, really help him.

"I'm in I say immediately and feel the slight stiffening in Aragorn's posture as I do so but I decide to ignore it for now, I'll tackle him later.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys so I tried to add a bit more Aragorn and Peyson stuff here for you as I know there wasn't much in the last chapter and I know I have left you on a cliff hanger here but I promise to update as soon as possible and well lets just say whatever happens it will be an ending I hope you are all happy with.**

Three hours later I find myself by the tree of Gondor, I had grown up hearing stories about this place this tree and for a moment I am transported back to being a child, sitting on the hill behind my house with my mother and father after a day's training and listening to them tell me tales of Gondor and the great city of Minis Tirith and the heir that would make the tree bloom again. I give a little giggle out loud as I think about how much my life has changed. I was fighting for real, in a war that would decide the fate of the entire world and standing beside me in that fight was the man whom I loved and he loved me too. The future king of Gondor loved me and I him, a village girl, it was absurd. For a moment I feel panic overcome me as I wonder how the people would react to me, whether Aragorn would leave me to become king and chose another queen but then I smile again, in all likelihood we would not survive our trip to Mordor so there was not much point in worrying about it really.

"Hello little one I have been looking for you," I turn and smile up at Aragorn as he comes to stand beside me.

"Hello," I reply before looking at him more closely, "you look worried," I add and he sighs heavily before sitting down beside me.

"I wish you would not go," he says in barely a whisper and it is my own turn to sigh slightly as I get that familiar feeling of de ja vu over this conversation.

"It is unlikely that we shall survive this trip indeed we go merely to offer ourselves as a distraction," I start before he cuts in.

"Exactly, you should stay here where you shall be safe," he says turning to face me and his eyes are so tormented that I rest my hand against his cheek without thinking, withdrawing it a moment later when I hear people rushing past us.

"Aragorn…" I break off for a moment while I try to formulate my thoughts into words that make sense, "If we win this war and I have stayed behind and you do not come back I would not want to live, if we lose the war and I had stayed behind I would soon be killed anyway, or far worse. I have chosen to stand by you and fight by your side since the beginning, I vowed to protect Frodo and I will stand by that vow, both of them. Do not push me away when I need you so much, if I am to die I shall do it by your side," I finish and he stares at me for a long time before offering me a wry smile.

"I knew you would say something like that and I am glad you have for I would not go through this without you either, does that make me a terrible person?" he replies.

"No," I say smiling at him, "it makes you human and I am glad you want me with you as I want you with me all the time and I sometimes feel that you would be perfectly fine without me whilst I would cease to function,"

"Never underestimate how much I need you, I love you Peyson please do not forget that," he says almost severely as he turns to face me and I nod not really knowing how to respond.

"My lord it is time for us to leave," the soldier says as he clears his throat uncomfortably and I stand up slowly trying my best to hide my stinging back from either of them, the last thing I need is to be forced to stay because of an old injury. Which yes okay may be becoming slightly infected but that is hardly important when we stand on the edge of the battle of our lives is it?

It is less than two days ride later and we are on the outskirts of Mordor, it is funny how every stretch of this journey has seemed to last forever and yet when we are on our way to almost certain death it takes us no time at all to reach our destination.

"Do you think we will die here Peyson?" Pippin asks from beside me and I look down into his wide terrified eyes where he sits behind Gandalf and smile despite my own anticipation.

"No I do not think so but I know that we will be helping Frodo and that is a thought that warms my heart," I reply.

"Well spoken my friend you will make a truly great Queen," Haldir's voice sounds from beside me and I feel myself blush a little as I look over at him.

"I do not think that will ever come to pass," I whisper to him and he just stares back at me an expression that terrifies me and fills me with pride that he respects me enough not to lie to me at the same time.

"Come," Gandalf commands when we have stood a while with nothing happening and Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Haldir, Eomer and myself urge our steeds into a canter and soon find ourselves gazing up at the black gates of Mordor from just metres away. I busied myself appraising the gates so that I would not have to think about what lay behind them, or the fact that Frodo and Sam were facing it alone.

"At last," a voice grows softly beside me and I glance at Gimli in confusion before the noise of the gate opening alerts me to what he had been speaking of.

I shall never forget the creature that walked slowly towards us atop a black, snorting and dangerous looking horse. I have never before seen anything so ugly or evil looking. A great mouth, if it could be called that, more a rip across flesh that revealed sharp and jagged teeth. Skin sallow and grey and no other feature visible for they were hidden beneath the helmet it wore.

"Gandalf Greyhame," it hisses and the sound causes my blood to run cold in my veins visions of fire, and the eye filling my mind. Waves of pain and darkness wash over me as I somehow manage to sit still and silent during the exchange and I am vaguely aware of what is being said, of Frodo's Mithreil vest being presented but I can't seem to formulate a thought or voice to comment. Just when Aragorn beheads the creature and I see Merry and Pippin's face's screwed up in anguish the pounding in my head becomes so strong that I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I am on the other side of the gates and there are thousands of orc's everywhere. Stretching out in every direction is a sea of black evil and I can feel fear but it is not my own. I stare wildly around in search of any sign and suddenly I see two very small Orc's crawling away from the crowd towards the mountain and my heart sings for joy, they are alive still. I blink again to clear the tears in my eyes and I am back in front of the gates with the fellowship looking at me strangely.

"They are alive," I breathe and Merry and Pippin smile,

"I knew it," they both say.

"I did not believe he could be dead," Aragorn says quietly smiling softly at me a gesture I quickly return as he offers me a comfort I could not afford to dismiss in this moment.

"It is true then," Haldir says in a voice that is full of an emotion I would almost call wonder and I look at him in confusion.

"What?" I ask and Legolas suddenly laughs which makes me stare it him in open concern.

"You have the sight my friend, it is a gift from the Valar that few receive and even fewer who are not of the Eldar receive," he explains and I am about to ask him to explain what he means and how he knows when the gates begin to open again and we are racing back to our army.

"Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers, I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West! This day does not belong to one Man, But to **A** ll. Let us together rebuild this **W** orld. That we may share in the **D** ays of **P** eace…" As Aragorn finishes speaking he is breathing heavily and so am I, I have never felt prouder of him and I have never been more in love with him that I am right now and as he catches my eye I know that he reads it in my expression and I very nearly start laughing as I see a tiny blush stain his cheeks.

"I love you," I murmur as he steps nearer and we both ready our weapons, him his sword and me my bow.

"Be careful my love I will not survive this without you," he replies and I nod at him willing myself not to show him how afraid I am.

"I'll see you when it's over," I reply instead and he looks almost alarmed at this.

"You do not leave our sight," he says so fiercely I almost flinch and I just nod before I hear the crunch of thousands of footsteps the ground trembling beneath my feet and looking up I see that our army looks pitiful in comparison to this onslaught we would not live of that I was certain and so I close my eyes and pray to the Valar that our deaths would be quick and painless, that Frodo would complete his mission that if anyone had to die I would not outlive my fellowship… my family.

"For Frodo," The cry comes from Aragorn and by the time I open my eyes he is already nearly one hundred metres ahead of me and now Merry and Pippin and crying out and charging too so I take a deep breath, latch my bow to my back again and draw out my sword, trying not to think about the pain in my back as I do so and I charge too.

As soon as I clash swords with the first enemy I meet I know I am in trouble. It takes seconds for us to be surrounded and for me to lose sight of the other members of the fellowship and I am already exhausted. A sudden blow to my right side knocks me clean off my feet and I crash to the ground unable to prevent a cry of pain escaping me as I hit my back, which I am by now certain is opened again and probably infected. Scrambling to my feet I see the Orc crash to the floor in front of me a very familiar arrow in its head but before I can find and thank Legolas I am forced to deflect another blow and am back in battle. I fight for what feels like ever, everything becomes numb as I concentrate on survival and despite the chaos around me I feel almost calm as I go through the motions. Block, parry, kill, parry, block, attack, kill, behead, sidestep, block… I am just feeling like I have found my rhythm and may survive this yet when a great roar echoes in my ears and I pause for long enough to look up, see the enormous troll with Aragorn about to be crushed by its foot and then I am hit so hard by something that my helmet is torn clean off my head and I am thrown at least ten feet to the side. For a moment everything is hazy and then a fiery pain spreads through me so quickly that I can do nothing other than scream as I flail uselessly about trying to move my right arm which has suddenly become immobile.

"The master wants you alive," a voice snarls and a cold panic unlike anything I have ever felt before grips me. The pain in my back and my shoulder is so intense that I could not move if I had wanted to and when it leans down and picks me up I feel my entire world go black around the edges for a second and shift completely out of focus.

I have no idea what is going on as I hear the thunderous crash, the creature carrying me pausing even as we stand in the middle of my army, the cheering, the screaming the pain.

"Help… Aragorn… Somebody help me please," I have never been more desperate, never felt more out of control as the monster grips me tighter forcing another yelp of pain from me and then he is on the ground and I am being pulled away and oh Valar the pain.

"Peyson, Peyson talk to me," I would recognise that voice anywhere and I want to sob with relief that he is okay but I am struggling to form a single word.

"What is happening?" I manage eventually,

"It is over my love, it is over and we have won," he says and I can feel his fingers are trembling as they brush against my skin.

"I love you," I say, my voice sounding thick to my own ears and I can feel something sticky on my face.

"I love you, my beautiful, brave warrior, my little one," he whispers back to me and I try to smile but can't quite manage it.

"What of the others?" I ask,

"They are all well, Gandalf has taken the eagles to get Frodo and Sam," and I do manage a tiny smile at this despite the pain I feel as it pulls at wounds I did not know I had.

"That is good, we helped then," I say and I can feel the tiredness creeping over me, a bone aching tiredness that makes it nearly impossible to keep my eyes open despite my longing to look into his beautiful grey eyes.

"We shall meet them back at Rivendell," he replies shifting my weight slightly and I am surprised to see that he is carrying me and that I am too tired to even scream at the pain this movement causes.

"I am not sure I will make it there my love I think this time I am done," I say in a voice so thin I am not sure he will hear it but my eyes are already closed and I clan feel the darkness creeping over me like a warm blanket on a cold night. I have a vague notion of a scream but I am not sure whose it is and of wetness on my face but the darkness is everywhere now and I can't shut it out any longer.


	22. Chapter 22

This world is different from any where else I have visited in my visions for I know now that that is what they were before. Here everything was calm and peaceful and yet I felt wrong being here. I knew that this place was safe, happy even but I didn't want to be here.

"You are feeling that way because you are between life and death, it is your choice now Peyson my friend," the voice is so familiar and yet one I had thought I would never hear again and I am so shocked that my legs literally give way when I look up into the handsome face in front of me.

"Boromir?" I ask in a choked whisper and he nods his head opening his mouth to speak but I fling myself into his arms before he can say anything. "I am so sorry Boromir, I should have fought harder to protect you, I know I should have tried harder it is my fault and I'm so sorry," I sob and he soothes me gently.

"Calm yourself, you did all you could and I am glad that I was able to regain some of my honour before I fell," he says quietly as he leads me to a bench and pulls me to sit beside him.

"I don't understand," I say when I have managed to gain control over my breathing again, "you died, how are you here?" I pause and then turn to face him fully, "am I dead now too?" I ask feeling a sudden fear at being separated from Aragorn again.

"You are between life and death, your power of sight has allowed you to visit with me here despite the fact that you could still chose to live," he explains and I furrow my brow at him.

"Why would I chose to die?" I ask,

"It would depend on who is waiting for you I suppose," he says quietly turning to look behind us and as I follow his gaze I see images of my mum and dad and my friends from my village. My breath catches in my throat as I see them move around and laugh with one another before glancing up and smiling at me waving me towards them.

"My mum and dad," I breathe tears already rolling down my cheeks as I stand and take a step towards them, "it has been so long, it feels like a lifetime since I saw them,"

"Peyson, if you go to them you can never come back," Boromir says from beside me.

"But… Aragorn,"

"If you chose your parents you will die and he will be lost to you," he says and gasp a breath as my head spins.

"How am I supposed to chose?" I ask brokenly,

"Peyson you must follow your heart," he says as my feet automatically step towards my parents again I am only feet away from them now and I can see them so clearly. The pain in my heart that I felt when I lost them is back and it is so strong that I can feel my legs buckle again as I crash to my knees. Their faces are as smiley and happy as I can remember and I am close enough to see every line, every freckle on their faces and I stand up as if my body is moving without my permission stepping closer to them. I am inches from them when I stop.

"I can't," I whisper thickly,

"What do you mean?" Boromir asks,

"I cannot leave him. I love my family and I miss them so much but I would not survive any existence without Aragorn," I say more firmly turning towards him and he smiles.

"I had a feeling that you would say that,"

"Will I ever see them again? Will I ever see you again?" I ask and he smiles again and I am struck by how different he looks, how peaceful and happy he looks.

"We will all be here and when you are ready you will come back to us," he says and I breathe a sigh of relief,

"What do I do now then?" I ask and he laughs,

"Close your eyes and live Peyson,"

"Okay," I reply staring at him for a while before taking a deep breathe,

"Oh and Peyson,"

"Yes?"  
"Tell Faramir… when you meet my brother… tell him I love him and I am at peace, tell them all that I am happy," he says and I smile taking him into my arms one last time.

"I'm sorry we never had the chance to become better friends," I whisper to him,

"One day we shall have eternity to become the greatest of friends," he smiles and I beam back at him.

"That is a nice thought indeed," I whisper as I close my eyes and breathe deeply, feeling my body become heavy, pain seeping slowly back into my bones and sound buzzing in my ears until my eyes fly open and I gasp for breath as if I had been under water for a long time, my lungs burning for oxygen.

"Peyson… oh Peyson, my little one, I had feared… I thought I had…" Aragorn's voice is more broken than I have ever heard it and I am desperate to let him know that I would never leave him I try to open my arms to hug him but cry out in pain at the tiniest motion and he stops his muttering immediately in favour of trying to still me. "Don't move my love, you are wounded, Haldir is on his way here with some elvish medicine," he rushes and I smile.

"I would never leave you you know," I whisper.

"I know," he replies and I furrow my brow slightly as I attempt to formulate my words to him, get my thoughts out in a coherent way.

"He gave me a choice you know, Boromir…" I start and he looks almost startled at the motion of our fallen comrade.

"What do you mean little one?"

"When I… I closed my eyes and I woke up in this place and Boromir was there and so were my parents and he said I had to chose between going with them or coming back to you, I chose you, I would always chose you," I finish and he looks down right terrified his hands shaking more than ever as they continue to stroke the hair from my face.

"You saw Boromir?" he asks at last as if he does not know what else to say,

"Yes," I smile, "he says that he is happy and well and at peace and he can see us all, he told me to tell you and his brother that," I say in a whisper my breath rattling in my lungs slightly as I finish as a fresh wave of pain and heat wash through me.

"The wound on your back…" he begins slowly,

"It is infected and reopened," I finish for him grimacing slightly at the expression on his face.

"You knew?" he asks something undetectable in his eyes.

"There was always the chance that it would become so," I say thinking carefully before I answer, I mean yes I know that technically I totally knew way before we got to this battle that my back was already becoming infected and that it would more than likely open the wound if I was to fight and yet I definitely don't want to tell him that as I get the feeling he may be a little angry.

"I have a feeling you are not telling me the whole truth Peyson," he says almost sternly.

"Fine, okay you know me too well and I'm sorry but I was not going to be left behind and there was only a chance I did not know for sure and I am very tired now so can we please argue about this when I am rested and feeling better?" I sigh and can feel myself very nearly pouting.

"We are back to that conversation we seem to always be having where one or other of us is behaving like a spoilt child," he laughs suddenly and I try to join in but just wheeze and wince in pain instead. "Be still love I do not want you dislodging to dressings we have on you," he whispers suddenly more serious.

"we're here, quick turn her onto her side," the voice breaks through my foggy mind and I open my eyes realising that I am in a tent like structure and I can hear the hustle and bustle of noise outside.

"What's happening, where are we?" I ask my voice groggy and heavy with sleep.

"It is okay little one, we have set up camp close to where we did last night so that we can treat the wounded," Aragorn says his voice close to my ear as his body suddenly appears in front of me again, "we are going to roll you onto your side Peyson so we can treat the wound on your back and your shoulder without jostling you too much, I am going to lay here beside you and hold you to me to keep you still okay?" he asks me as if I have a choice in any of this but his slight blush at laying so close to me despite the situation makes my love for him grow every stronger and I smile weakly at him.

"I love you," I say in reply and only grunt at the snort of laughter I hear from behind me which I can only assume is Haldir.

"I'm going to have to cut your tunic from you," Haldir says and I nod, not caring too much about modesty and more about ending the fiery that had begun to pulse through my veins since I had opened my eyes.

"Okay," I mumble and just focus on Aragorn until they pull the tunic from my back, still keeping it covering as much of my front as possible, and I hear the hiss of worry? Disgust? Sympathy? coming from behind me and see the look of anguish in Aragorn's eyes as they make that noise. I close my eyes then. I embrace the darkness that was once more creeping upon me and feel myself go limp in his arms even as pain begins to stab me like needles and Aragorn tries to speak to me.


	23. Chapter 23

When I finally manage to open my eyes and feel less like I am only half awake I take a moment to examine my surroundings.

"Welcome back," a voice says quietly from beside me and it takes me a few moments to focus on the figure beside me but I soon see Aragorn sitting there and I smile.

"Where are we?" I ask my voice hoarse and my mouth dry,

"We are in Rivendell," he answers shifting forward and supporting me as I try to sit up only to wince a little in pain, "my father has healed you as far as he can my love, you will have full range of movement but you will always bear a scar across your back," he sighs looking confused when I smile.

"I have never cared much for what I look like I am just pleased that I will still be able to use my bow and sword," I say and he smiles a little too before his brow furrows again and he looks downcast.

"I am still sorry that you shall have to live with such a horrible reminder of war,"

"Does it change the way you see me?" I ask slowly feeling an age old doubt creep into my soul.

"What do you mean?" he replies looking perplexed,  
"Does the scar make you love me less, does it make you… do you wish to leave me behind now?" I say my voice breaking despite myself as fear begins to build within me.

"It only makes my love for you stronger," he says without hesitation and I let out a huff of breath in relief before I can stop myself and his hands are on my face immediately his nose barely an inch from mine, "you must stop doubting my love for your Peyson, it will not end and it will not fade I promise you that, just as I know that your love for me will remain strong,"

"I know," I whisper blinking away the tears in my eyes. "Tell me the others are okay," I say partly to change the subject so that I can gain control of my emotions and partly because I would not truly be able to relax until I knew they were okay.

"They are all well and worrying for you, Frodo and Sam awoke just yesterday and have been difficult to keep away from your bedside and in their own beds since then," he smiles and my smile widens as I find out that they are not only okay but well enough to be out of bed and worrying for others.

"When can I get up?" I ask now and he laughs at that,

"The war is over my love we can rest now there is no rush," he responds and I quirk an eyebrow at him as he continues to chuckle,

"What about Gondor? What about us? What happens now?"

"For one who is supposed to be recovering from life threatening wounds you are asking a lot of questions?" he says quietly his fingers now intwined with mine.

"I just want to know what is to happen, how am I supposed to rest and recover if I do not know when you are going to leave?" I say quietly feeling suddenly close to tears again.

"I am not leaving your side until you are well little one, then we will ride to Gondor together for my coronation," as he pauses for breath here I let out a little yelp of joy and interrupt him,

"I knew you would do the right thing, oh but you will make such an incredible king," I gush at him until he suddenly silences me with a kiss that temporarily steals the breath from my lungs.

"And you my little one shall make an even greater queen," he whispers into my lips when he pulls away a fraction causing me to feel a blush spread across my cheeks before I can stop it.

"Don't you need to go before then, I do not want to hold anything up," I say quietly instead and he sighs a little as if almost frustrated.  
"There are no proceedings that cannot wait until my queen is ready to join me my little one," he says stubbornly and before I can respond there is the sound of a throat clearing from the doorway and we both look over to see Gandalf there pipe in hand and a pensive, slightly amused expression on his face.

"Peyson is right my friend you must leave in the morning," he says as he walks in and sits almost heavily in the chair by the fire in my room.

"I will not leave…" Aragorn says immediately before I put an hand on his arm and squeeze it gently.

"Aragorn, you are being that child again," I tease quietly as he shoots me an expression somewhere between anguish and a scowl.

"I promised I would not leave," he says instead in an almost pleading voice.

"I understand the reason Aragorn, you are not abandoning me, you must go and prepare your city and I shall join you as soon as I can," I smile and he sighs heavily again dropping his head to my hand which is now grasped in both of his.

"I love you little one," he mumbles and I can feel the warmth spreading through my entire body at his words.

"I love you more," I whisper back my smile widening as I hear his answering chuckle.

"As heart warming as this is you will have time to say your goodbyes in the morning and I know some very impatient friends who have spent these last days very worried for you that would very much like to see you awake," Gandalf says from his position startling me as I had almost forgotten he was there. That happens a lot around Aragorn I realise, I get so lost in him I forget that others are around us.

"Yes," I say in an excited squeal, "please I would so love to see them," I add in a slightly more controlled voice as they both laugh at me before Aragorn steps away and out of the doorway.

"Peyson," the cry is so loud I jump slightly and then jump again wincing as four small bodies launch themselves at me but I don't care when I see Frodo and Sam especially I cling to them not caring about the pain it causes me.

"I am so pleased to see you," I sob and suddenly realise that I am crying, tears making a steady stream down my face as I hold them to me before examining them thoroughly.

"We were so worried Peyson, we thought…" Frodo trails off and I laugh then through my tears.

"You had me worried for a long while my friend, I am just so glad I was able to help in some tiny way," I say and he hugs me again.

"We are to go back with Aragorn to Gondor Peyson but you are not… we have only just been reunited," Pippin says almost sadly and I laugh again.

"I will be with you all again soon and now we are safe from an evil lord, thanks to your bravery, we do not need to fear this parting nor any for it will be in peace," I smile although even as I say it I am aware of that fact that my little speech didn't entirely make sense but I think they got the message.

"I think young hobbits that Peyson may need to some rest," a voice says from the foot of the bed and I look up to see Gimli standing there and I smile.

"Gimli I am so glad to see you well," I say and he returns.

"And I you, you gave us quite the scare ranger, completely uncalled for and it better be the last time," he says rather sternly before guffawing so loudly he snorts which of course causes the hobbits to roll around laughing and I can't help giggling myself.

"I am glad to see you awake my friend we were… I was afraid for a while," Legolas says close beside me and I look over to him.

"I am sorry," I whisper back in reply unable to lie or to cover up anything from him even less than with Aragorn, I'm not sure why I just feel like he can read me, can see right through me and it is strangely terrifying and comforting at the same time.

"The things you said to Aragorn… when you awoke," he says slowly now.

"I had another vision… or I died I'm not sure which one, what do you think," I say looking at him and he smile gently at me after a long pause.

"You have been blessed by the Valar Peyson, I have told you this before and I believe you had a vision," he says eventually and I smile at him before yawning.

"I think Peyson may need to rest some now so she may wave you off tomorrow," I look up at the voice and see Aragorn standing in the doorway leaning casually against the wall and looking more relaxed than I have ever seen him and it warms my heart to see him this way, he looks at least ten years younger and as I look around I realise that despite the visible trauma still healing everyone is slightly more relaxed and happy.

"But we haven't even told her all of our adventures," Frodo says suddenly and I laugh at this,

"There shall be so much time for that now my dear friend but Aragorn is right I am tired still and must be rested so that I may fully enjoy your story," I say and he smiles for a second before his smile slips off his face again.

"But we leave tomorrow for Gondor," he says and the other three huff slightly too which makes me giggle again.  
"Then the chance to see your faces and listen to your story is what will speed me on in my recovery and towards Gondor to see you all again," I say and after a few minutes of pondering they seem satisfied with this and after another tight hug they head off in search of food leaving me with the others.

"Haldir and I shall stay with you and assist with your healing as we have since the beginning and then travel with you to Gondor," Legolas says now and I don't respond but I know that he knows from my look that I am grateful and honoured and relieved all in one and with another brief smile and nod he is gone with Gimli who mutters something about seeing me in Gondor.

"When you are healed and the coronation is done with I must work with you," Gandalf says and I jump a little again, he really needs to stop blending into the background and then jumping out on me unexpectedly or I'm going to end up having a heart attack before I can heal.

"About what?" I ask and he doesn't answer immediately, instead refilling his pipe and then slowly getting to his feet.

"Your sight, I have a feeling it will get stronger, we need to… train," he says and I nod at him a little dumbfounded as he lights his pipe and after letting out a puff of smoke he leaves patting Aragorn on the shoulder as he does so and we are alone together once more.

"Will you stay a while longer?" I ask quietly as he steps further into the room and perches on the bed beside me his fingers automatically finding mine.

"I was not lying when I said you needed to rest," he replies and I sigh a little,

"But…" I start before his finger covers my mouth and a smile tugs at his lips,

"However, I have only just got you back and until I must leave in the morning and be separated from you once more I will spend every second I can with you," he whispers to me his face now mere inches from mine and my own breath catches in my throat as his gently caresses my face.

"I hate that we are to be separated again so soon," I almost gasp and his lips are suddenly on mine dragging a breathy moan like noise from my throat as he kisses me so thoroughly I can barely remember my own name.

"I love you so much little one," he breathes when he pulls away, his face still hovering an inch above mine, his fingers gently stroking my hair from my face, "amin heart beats ten' lle (my heart beats for you),"

"lle naa amin iluve (you are my everything)," I respond feeling emotion building in me and catching in my throat as I attempt to swallow it back down.

"Rest little one, I shan't leave," he whispers sitting back finally his fingers now wrapped around mine gently again.

"You must go and rest my love you start a long journey tomorrow and I would not have you tired," I scold and he laughs.

"Little one I am more comfortable here than I have been for months sleeping on the ground," he manages eventually and I huff a little at him, "besides," he adds, "I would not be rested anywhere away from you I would only be happy when I know that you are safe and breathing well, if I am to be gone from you again soon I will spend every second I can beside you," he smiles and before I can argue he kisses me again and then settles down in the chair propping his legs up on the bed and closing his eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys sorry it's taken so long but moving house and trying to sort out the internet access has been a nightmare. Anyway I hope this will tide you over for now and I have a week off soon so will hopefully be able to update a few of the stories! Let me know how you like** **it and any suggestions you have.**

It took me far longer to get to sleep and but the time I have listened to his breathing even out and finally drifted off myself I feel as though it is mere minutes before I am being awoken to say goodbye again.

"Little one, we must leave," Aragorn's face is once again hovering over mine,

"Already?" I ask and he smiles a little at me although I can see the pain behind it and I immediately decide I have to hold it together so that he does not worry for me.

"I do not wish to leave my love," he whispers and it I sigh reaching up a hand to his cheek despite the twinge of pain it causes to rush through my arm and back.

"I do not want to see you leave but I know that you must and I take heart in the fact that for the first time we part in a time of peace and I for once do not have to fear for your safety," I smile as he helps me to sit up.

"I am not sure I can say the same," he responds clearly still not happy about us parting again.

"Of course you can, Legolas and Haldir shall be with me and I will be well and with you soon," I say as he gathers me into his arms and holds me as tightly as he dares with my still wounded back.

"Come let us go and meet with the others or they will make my life miserable all the way to Gondor for monopolising your time," he smirks as he helps me pull on a silk coat of some sort to cover my nightdress and supports me as we walk out to see off the others.

"Peyson I shall miss you terribly," Frodo says stepping towards me as soon as he spots me and I can feel tears welling in my eyes as I quickly blink them away and smile down at him.

"I shall be with you soon my friend I can promise you that," I say kneeling down with some difficulty and embracing him before I am suddenly being held by several other sets of little arms.

"Come my friends we must be off," Aragorn says at last and so they drag themselves back to their packs and begin to get themselves ready.

"I love you," I whisper as he helps me to stand again and his fingers find my face brushing an errant strand of hair behind my ear.

"I sometimes wonder you are not an elf your beauty is so great," he replies his fingers lingering over the top of my ears and I laugh even as I feel the blush creep up over my cheeks.

"Be safe and look after them," I say and he smiles nodding leaning forward impulsively and kissing me quickly on the corner of my mouth which only serves to make my blush stronger.

"Always my love and make sure you rest and recover, I want you with me as soon as possible," he says before turning away and then they are gone and I am standing watching them leave Legolas and Haldir standing beside me and trying desperately not to cry.

"Come my friend you should be resting," Legolas says and I turn to look at him,

"I'm fine," I say knowing before I have finished speaking that he doesn't believe me,

"You are weak,"

"I am getting stronger," I argue.

"Still as stubborn as the day I met you I see," Haldir chuckles and I throw a weak glare in his direction.

"I just… I hate being weak," I sigh grunting in frustration as I take a step and stumble my legs collapsing beneath me and forcing Legolas to use his lightening like reflexes to catch me and pull to him gently.

"I understand Peyson but you must rest, being away from Aragorn will only make you weaker you must follow our instructions,"

"I… okay," I mutter suddenly too exhausted to argue or ask questions so instead I just nod and lean into him as he supports me and takes me back to my bed where I sink down and turning away from him slightly I close my eyes offering nothing but a tiny noise of thanks as he pulls a blanket over me and sits down beside me.

It is hard to explain how I feel over the next few days, I am recovering and every day it is easier to move and breathe and do things without pain but everything else was… I don't know it is like my senses have been dulled. Without Aragorn here I feel like everything is harder just existing seems more difficult and it is driving me slowly insane.

"How are you this morning my friend?" Legolas asks as he walks towards where I am sitting in the gardens one afternoon about two weeks after they left.

"I am well, I started training again yesterday and Haldir says that I should have full range of mobility and no pain within the week," I reply not really looking at him and just continuing to stare out across the landscape.

"That is good, I have had word from Gondor we are to leave in two days time if we wish to make it in time for the coronation," he says as he sits beside me and a tiny spark of hope ignites in me as I turn to face him at this news.

"That is good," I manage after a moment and he smiles almost sadly at me.

"It is normal you know, although I have rarely seen a reaction so strong in those who are not of the eldar, perhaps it is your lineage," he muses and I furrow my brow at him.

"I do not understand,"

"The feeling of being lost, the hopelessness when he is not near," he clarifies and I don't know why I am startled that he knows.

"You have always been able to read me so easily, since the very beginning, better even than Aragorn," I sigh turing away from him again after offering him a tiny smile.

"You are one of my truest and closest friends Peyson and you are not so good at hiding your feelings," he smiles and I glance at him again.

"Not a very good ranger then," I muse before looking at him again, "Aragorn never seems to see how I am feeling though," I add and he laughs a little at this.

"I think perhaps Aragorn rarely sees anything other than his love for you and blind panic for your safety, his own feelings and how to act," he laughs and I can't help giggling a tiny bit too before I yawn. "You have not been sleeping well," he observes more solemnly and I just nod.

"I know the danger is over and I know that they are safe, that we all are but the dreams still plague me," I say eventually.

"The same images, the same dreams?" he asks and I shake my head glancing at him again before focusing on a tree in the distance as I try to formulate my words.

"No. They are strange and I do not understand them. I don't feel the fear or panic of before but there is something in the background I just can't work it out, it is nothing more than a mass of images and colours too blurry and passing by too quickly for me to work out what they are," I sigh.

"It is because you are anxious to see Aragorn," he reasons although I can tell that he is about as convinced as I am that this is the true reasons for my dreams or visions. I don't say anything though because I know that he is trying to appease my worries and I do not wish him to worry besides I would be on my way to see Aragorn and the rest of my friends, my family, I internally correct myself and I knew that I would be better once I was with them all again.

"I should get some rest so I am ready to travel," I say quietly,

"It will be a peaceful trip Peyson the war is over," he says now and I look back at him from where I now stood a few feet in front of him.

"We have vanquished a great evil but everywhere his servants are slinking back to their holes, I think you know as well as I that no journey is free of all danger," I say and he smiles at me slightly before standing and walking towards me.

"Sometimes I do you the injustice of underestimating your intelligence," he says quietly and I feel myself blush as I turn away.

"It is an obvious thing to say," I offer in excuse as we begin to walk back towards my room.

"I am over two thousand years old Peyson and have prided myself for many a century on never being surprised by anything and then you appeared and since the day I met you I have been regularly surprised by your resilience, grace, skill and loyalty despite your young age and the things you have suffered,"

"You flatter me too much my friend," I laugh to cover my embarrassment and he just shakes his head at me smiling as we continue walking in silence until we reach my door.

"Get some rest so we may hasten on our journey to Gondor without hesitation," he says quietly and I nod turning back once I am though my door to thank him for being such a true friend but he is already gone and so sighing I shut the door quietly and head back to my bed.

Two days have gone by, possibly the longest two days of my life and I am finally standing at the gates of Rivendell once more Legolas and Haldir beside me as we say goodbye to the elves here and get ready to leave.

"Be careful Peyson your journey will not be as easy as those of the fellowship who went before you," Elrond says quietly drawing me aside and I stare up at him in shocked apprehension.

"What do you mean?" I ask,

"There are dangers in your path Peyson, you have begun to feel them yourself," he continues as I continue to stare at him in open mouthed silence.

"I don't understand," I manage eventually and he smiles almost sadly at me.

"Keep your allies close to you at all times Peyson and be watchful I would not have my son grieve needlessly for you,"

"So there are enemies in our path?" I ask fighting a blush, I swear these creatures take far too much joy in seeing me flustered and blushing it is most annoying.

"There are but is the enemies that look like they are friends you should be watching for," he says before moving off to speak to Haldir and leaving me in shocked and bemused silence as I try to decode what he says.

"Lord Elrond has told you his concerns?" Legolas asks a moment later and I look up closing my mouth and swallowing thickly.

"Yes,"

"I will let no harm come to you my friend," he replies resting a hand on my shoulder for a moment.

"It is not fair that just when I thought we were safe trouble is on its way again," I sulk and he chuckles a little although there is little humour in it.

"Come let us be on our way," Haldir says from my side and with a glance back we mount our horses and set off.

The journey is long but the ground is covered quickly on horseback in no time at all and within a week we are nearly there.

"We will be there by dusk tomorrow," Haldir says as we dismount and set about making camp.

"I do not like the feel in the air here," I say quietly and they both look at me nodding and I am for the millionth time grateful for the unwavering loyalty and trust, they never question me the way others may have.

"I believe that there are enemies close by," Legolas replies in a whisper.

"I shall scout out the area stay here," Haldir says picking up his bow and moving into the trees to our right.

"We should ride through the night and get away…" but before I can finish my sentence a movement and growl to my left catches my attention and before I can blink we are surrounded by orc on Wargs.

Panic instantly fills me and I am struck by the idea that even after everything I have been through, all of the battles both before I met the fellowship and through out our journey together, the fear and the panic that consumes me every time battle is near is ever present.

"Be calm Peyson and remember your training," a voice whispers besides me and it comes as no surprise that Legolas has once again read me like a book.

"I… my back," it is all I can manage to get out through my constricted throat the rifler being that I was terrifyingly out of practise and although I knew I was recovered the memories of fighting and the wound ripping open are still fresh in my mind.

"I have no time to reassure you in the way I should like but you must fight and you can fight Peyson our lives both depend on it," he replies and the edge in his voice makes me steel myself against my own fear and draw my sword.

I have less than a second to hold the weight of my weapon in my hand before the fight begins and my ears are suddenly full of snarls, growls and cries of pain and victory. I cannot see either of my elf companions as I am drawn further into the darkness by a particularly aggressive warg whose teeth are shining in the moonlight slightly, glinting in a way that reminds me how deadly it is and I gulp. It lunges at me suddenly and I only just manage to get away its teeth grazing my forearm and drawing a hiss of pain from me. I roll across the floor and have a moment to feel relief at the lack of pain in my back at this action and my then my mind is full of Aragorn, I see his face, see his panic and his grief and standing up I let out my own battle cry as I plunge my sword into the beasts side before turning and fending off another attack from an orc that had been creeping behind me. In all the fight lasts but half an hour and by the time it is finished and the attacks stop coming I am exhausted. My breath coming in short gasps as I lean over on my sword, jumping as a figure walks up beside me.

"We should move there may be more of them near by," Legolas says quietly and I immediately irritated at the fact that he looks as if he has just wandered upon the scene not a hair out of place and not even out of breath.

"Where is Haldir?" I ask instead standing up and wiping the blood from my sword onto my cloak I sheath it and begin walking with him.

"He is with the horses he has been wounded but he is okay the blade was not poisoned and the wound will be easily stitched," he says and I speed up my walking slightly to get to him.

"Can you not stay out of trouble without me to save you?" I tease as we approach him and he scowls slightly at me sitting down rather heavily for an elf and moving the tattered edges of his sleeve slightly so that Legolas can begin to stitch the wound whilst I find some water and offer it to him after taking a drink myself.

"You are wounded yourself my little friend," Haldir says as he accepts the canteen of water, "we must stitch that before we leave, thankfully for once you have not tried to outdo everyone with some heinous wound," he adds with a smirk and it is my turn to scowl at him as I sit and wait for Legolas to finish patching Haldir up and move on to me.

"How do you always avoid any injury?" I ask when he sits in front of me and begins to clean the wound on my arm.

"I am many hundreds of years older than you," he smiles and I frown at him slightly.

"But so is Haldir and he is also a great warrior and he is injured," I reason and Legolas chuckles as Haldir growls softly from behind me where he is making sure the horses are packed up and ready to move.

"I was alone and ambushed I was merely caught off guard whilst trying to lead a pack of orcs away from you," he mutters and Legolas laughs again.

"I have been wounded many times my friend I have simply been lucky through this last few years and battles," Legolas says as he finishes bandaging my arm and pulls me to my feet.

"I never wish to see you injured my friend but sometimes I do wish that you would at least appear to slightly out of breath," I smile and Haldir laughs this time.

"That is his trick my friend he hides in the trees and emerges at the end of battle to claim victory," he laughs and I laugh too as Legolas pretends to look hurt his smile shining through his eyes even in the dim moonlight as he mounts his horse.

"Come let us away and my mid morning tomorrow we should be within sight of the city," He says waiting for us both to mount our own horses before he gallops off with us both behind him.


	25. Chapter 25

Cresting the hill my heart feels suddenly lighter than it had in weeks. I was so close to him now, so close to home with him that I my entire body feels lighter, I can feel the relief the hope, the absolute and complete calm wash through me.

"The ceremony has begun," Haldir observes and I look up at the city the top tier full of people and banners easy to see even from this distance.

"But…" I feel slightly crushed at this knowledge, I no longer doubted his love for me, what I did doubt was the influence those around him would have and I was now scared that they would have convinced him that we could not have a life together.

"We were to be there in time to wash and dress and surprise Aragorn with your presence shortly after his crowning," Legolas explains and I look at him in wonder how had he kept that all a secret from me.

"So why?" I am very grateful right now for the fact both these elves can read me well enough for me to understand my question without me having to finish it because I am not sure I could.

"The people need a leader in the aftermath of such devastation and abject horror it was important to move quickly although if the rumours I have heard are true your king and lover have put up a great battle to avoid it until you were with him," he smirks and I feel the blush creep up my cheeks knowing that Legolas would not lie to me.

"Let's hurry then," I say instead and kick my horse into a gallop before I second guess myself or Aragorn or anyone else for that matter.

Clattering through the gates we race up to the sixth level where Legolas stops me before he dismounts.

"But they are on the seventh level," I say in confusion.

"Yes and we are to be there soon my friend, quickly take this banner and walk behind me," he says as he hands me a huge banner which is mercifully light considering so at least I don't drop it despite the slight pain in my wounded forearm.

"Oh no," I murmur suddenly once we are approaching the crowds and I can suddenly see all of the people here.

"What is wrong my friend?" Halide whispers to me from his position beside me and I glance at him quickly before looking back at the banner I am holding which is thankfully hiding most of me.

"I look dreadful, I am covered in orc blood," I answer and I can hear his chuckle.

"A warrior and a ranger through and through it will be strange to see you in a dress of that I am certain," he responds and I send him a quick glare although it is half hearted as pride fills me at his words and I am lost in the feeling once again of belonging and being cared for, that despite how much I have lost I have gained a new family who I knew would care for, love and protect me and it filled me with warmth.

"Peyson…" the voice pulls me from my thoughts and I glance round at Haldir who is trying desperately to get my attention although he looks highly amused by my daydreaming too.

"What?" I ask looking at him in slight concern thinking that something had happened and I had missed it.

"Walk forward and move the banner away from you," he instructs and I do, "here give it me," he suggests but I barely hear him as I spot the man before me. It is Aragorn, at least I think it is my Aragorn his hair is cleaner and shinier than I have ever seen it as it flows down across his shoulders and a crown is sitting on his head as he stares at me in open mouthed wonder. He suddenly seems so much taller than I remember and whilst he had always had an air of grace and regality about him even when he refused his lineage now it positively radiated from him so powerfully I almost stepped backwards but before I could he was inches from me his hand reaching for my cheek as I fight to stop the sob that is suddenly in my throat. Then I am in his arms and his lips have crashed down upon mine and his strength and love are pouring from him and into me. I am breathless and exhilarated and more than a little shocked that he has kissed me in front of an entire city of people and is now laughing his eyes bright with tears of joy his nose still barely an inch from my own.

"My little warrior," he whispers and I can feel the blush flooding through my cheeks with lightening speed.

"I didn't have time to change I'm afraid," I reply and he laughs again before he spots the bandage on my arm and frowns,

"You are wounded?" he asks and I shake my head a little,

"Just a scratch, I faired better than Haldir we had a run in with a small pack of orcs and wargs and one of the beasts managed to nick me," I explain.

"I think sometimes you live to worry me," he says with a shake of his head.

"I think I you do the same," I quip back which makes him smile again before stepping away a tiny bit and taking my hand.

"Come let us greet our friends," he says and I tug on his hand a little in shock.

"I think I should take my leave and at least bathe before I see anyone else I am covered in the blood of our enemies," I exclaim quietly and he turns to face me again his hand on my cheek seeming once again to care little for the crowds of on lookers who I can already hear whispering about who I am.

"You are perfect my love and they will not mind and I just see my beautiful warrior queen," he smiles and I scowl a little at him even as I feel my face flush again but he merely smiles and pulls me towards the edge of the city. As we move I am aware of the people parting for us and I grip Aragorn's hand tighter an apprehension filling me unused to such attention as I was.

"Peyson," a small voice says and I am once again dragged from my musings and I see the four hobbits before me and a smile spreads across my face before dropping as they bow but before I can say anything Aragorn stops them.

"My friends you bow to no one," he says promptly dropping to his knee where I join a second later and hearing a rustling around me I glance to the side and see that the entire city are bowing to them and looking back at their overwhelmed little faces I can feel the tears finally start to make tracks down my face so pleased I am to be back home with them all.

"Oh Peyson you are hurt again, we were so worried when you weren't here in time for the coronation," Frodo says as he darts forward and embraces me suddenly and I hold him back just as tightly.

"I am well my friend and I am so pleased to see you again," I reply smiling at him as he finally pulls away.

"I must steal her from you my little friends," Aragorn's voice says as he kneels once again beside me and feel an instant calm wash over me as I always do when he is close by.

"But we wanted to…" Pippin says immediately before Gandalf steps forward.

"I think my friends that we should get some food and let Peyson go and get cleaned up she has ridden through the night and had to battle to get here, when she has bathed and rested she will find you and you can regain her with your tales," he says and Merry and Pippin pout for all of a second before they rush off to find the feast whilst Sam and Frodo offer me an expression of amused exasperation before they follow behind them leaving me giggling at their antics.

"Come my love let us get you bathed and rested as Gandalf suggested,"Aragorn says as he takes my arm gently in his and pulls me up, his arm protectively on the small of my back as he leads me into the vast halls and down corridors until we reach a room and he leads me inside and into the bathing room where he has me sit on the bench there.

"What are we doing?" I ask in quiet apprehension.

"Do not fear little one I will not do anything to damage either of our reputations, your maids are on their way to draw you a bath," he smiles.

"May I ask you a question then?" I ask and he perches opposite me nodding in response.

"Of course little one,"

"We have always been so careful and yet today you kissed me openly in front of all those people," I say aware that it is more of a statement than a question but knowing that he would understand what I meant.

"I was perhaps a little overwhelmed when I saw you and I confess I was not thinking of propriety when I acted," he replies with a slight blush appearing on his cheeks which makes me smile a bit and I cannot explain how pleased I am that he is finally admitting to being human because there have honestly been moments that I have wondered whether he was really some sort of new perfect race of man, "but…" he continues now, "I do not regret it, I worry for you here you are not aware of your own beauty and I am glad that the men of this city can see that I have your heart," he finishes causing me to blush a little, a lot actually and I am glad when the maids come in and begin to bustle around getting my bath ready.

"You are wounded my lady?" one of them says,

"It is nothing just a scratch really," I reply,

"Do not listen to her she was wounded my a warg make sure it is cleaned and redressed she has a habit of not looking after herself well enough," Aragorn pipes up and I scowl at him which makes him laugh.

"Yes your majesty," she replies and I laugh at the look of shock on his face at being addressed in this way.

"Don't worry he is just not used to being addressed in such a way he shall get used to it," I say to one of the women who is looking strangely at him.

"Well be that as it may my lady I am your head maid and I shall have no man in here, even if he is the king until you are married," she says and I laugh again as I wave him off.

"I'll see you later," I manage,

"I will bring her down to you my king," the older woman interrupts again and suddenly I am alone with three women I have never met before and I am a little nervous. The only woman I have spent any time with since my mothers death had been Eowyn and we had a rocky start and I was definitely not used to being treated as a noble woman. I sigh a tiny bit as I steel myself for all the changes I was about to endure in my life for the first time realising that the end of the war meant the beginning of a very different life to the one I had had before my village had been attacked.

For a moment after the door is shut I stand in petrified silence as they bustle around me.

"My lady…" one of them begins but I interrupt quickly,

"Peyson," I say and they all stop and stare at me in slight wonder which makes me even more nervous.

"I don't understand," the youngest one ventures after a while and I offer a nervous smile,

"My name is Peyson I am not a _lady_ ," I say and the older one laughs at this a great bellowing laugh that makes me jump.

"Not a lady, you are to be queen," she wheezes after a while and I don't know how to respond to that because I suppose it was true really I mean we had made no arrangements but Aragorn had told me often enough that it would be so.

"But… what I mean to say is… this is all rather new to me," I finish lamely and her expression softens slightly as understanding seems to dawn on them all.

"I am Marriana and this is Treya and Henriq we are your maids and will look after you now," the older one says and I smile a little although I am still hesitant about it, "I tell you what while in the privacy of your rooms we shall call you Peyson if it makes you more comfortable but you must be get used to being known by your title when outside," she offers and I nod.

"Thank you Marriana," I say and she smiles again sending the other two off to get dresses and bandages while she helps me undress. Not that I'm entirely sure why I need someone to help me undress I mean I had managed perfectly well for the last twenty or so years.

"So Peyson, from whence do you hail that you are not accustomed to titles?" she asks as she turns for a moment to make sure the water was warm enough.

"I am from a village many leagues to the south of here," I say quietly, "I was brought up as a normal village girl, I learnt to fight and track and speak elvish but never to dance or dress like a lady," I add not sure why I am suddenly telling her everything about me, "I'm sorry I should not have said those things," I say feeling myself flush with embarrassment.

"Peyson I am your maid, I am your confidant and you will quickly learn that you can tell me anything and I will never speak a word to another soul, I have worked in the employ of these houses my whole life, I cared for the stewards sons…"

"You looked after Boromir?" I interrupt and she smiles sadly nodding her head and I can read the honest grief in her eyes and suddenly trust her infinitely more. "He was a good man and a great friend to the fellowship," I say and she smiles.

"Always a fighter that one,"

"He saved my life," I say not able to make myself add the words, thats how he died, but I get the feeling she knows and understands.

"I think my lady that we shall become great friends," she smiles as she approaches me again a warm and loving expression on her face and I am suddenly overcome with the feeling of having a motherly influence in my life again so much so that I very nearly cry, although it may be slightly because I'm tired too and I am always a mess of emotions when I'm tired.

"I should like that very much," I whisper thickly instead and she smiles again lowering her voice until it is barely audible as the door opens and I see the other two maids carrying things in and putting things into the bath waters.

"Be careful of what you say in front of those two though I know not whether they are the types to gossip yet," I nod silently and then let her help me out of my tunic and trousers.

"My lady your back," one of the younger maid exclaims and I spin to see what she means when I remember the scar and almost smile until I see her outraged expression at which point my own face falls and for the first time I feel self conscious about how I look.

"What happened?" the other one asks before Marriana can stop her so she just makes a tutting noise and helps me into the bath waters.

"I was hit with an Uruk Hai sword at the battle of Helms deep," I say once I have let the water work its magic on my tired limbs.

"I heard the women and children where in the safety of the caves," Treya says now and I smile at her a little,

"They were, I was not with them though I fought alongside the rest of the fellowship," I say and I see the awe and shock on their faces.

"Did it hurt terribly?" Henriq asks,

"Don't ask such personal things girl," Marriana admonishes and I giggle a little.

"It's okay, it hurt at the time but it doesn't bother me at all anymore," I say,

"I will apply some lotion all the same it looks still red and fresh and I don't want it to scar too badly," Marriana says and I am once again struck by the fact that here I would have to be more observant of how others view me.

It feels like hours later when they have finally finished and I am on my way to see the others. I have cleaned and scrubbed within an inch of my life and my hair has never been so thoroughly brushed and played around with. They have dressed my wounds and packed me into the most complicated dress I have ever seen before piling my hair up on top of my head pinning it in place with flowers. I am told apparently that I must get used to such things as when I marry Aragorn I would have to wear a circlet crown at all times, I was not looking forward to that. They had even made me wear little silk slippers which was very strange, I had never worn anything other than my boots before even in Edoras and Rivendell. All in all I felt very strange and incredibly self conscious and I longed desperately to be with the fellowship where I felt safe.

"This way my lady," Marriana says and I am pulled from my musings as I struggle along beside her, I don't know how women cope with dresses all the time they are an absolute nightmare and a bloody trip hazard.

"You look more beautiful than anything my eyes have beheld," the voice is soft and quiet barely above a whisper and I can feel the crimson staining my cheeks as I turn to see Aragorn staring down at me his whole face slack with shock and I giggle nervously.

"I am not used to wearing dresses and having my hair pulled around so much," I say unable to think of anything else to say and I glance around for support but see that we are alone, Marriana having slipped away silently to give us a moment.

"You are too beautiful I shall have to keep a close eye on you for fear of every man in Gondor and Middle Earth vying for your hand,"

"I think you exaggerate," I say gasping as his arms find their way around my waist and pull me quickly to him crashing his lips to mine and drawing a whimper from me.

"I never exaggerate my love I think I shall like to see you in a dress more often," he smiles roguishly at me and I offer him a little scowl.

"I think, my king that if you are to make me wear these ridiculous outfits all the time it matters not how much I love you, and I do, I should have to run away breaking both our hearts," I say and he laughs aloud at this.

"A bit extreme little one,"

"You have not had to wear one of these things I am already missing my tunic and I feel positively strange without my bow or sword," I sulk.

"It will take some getting used to," he sighs moving so that we are seated on a bench in a small alcove his arms still wrapped protectively around my waist.

"You mean I really shall have to wear dresses every day?" I ask in horror, I was only half joking with him before I really am terrified of having to wear these all the time.

"I would never do anything to make you unhappy and I don't think I could handle seeing my little one without her sword or bow," he smiles and I lean forward and kiss him impulsively.

"I knew there was a reason I love you," I whisper into his lips, "so I may still train?"

"I would spar with no one else," he says before standing and offering me his hand, "come my love let me show off my beautiful bride to be," he says and I take his hand somewhat reluctantly following slightly behind him wishing that we could have just stayed as we were, alone together.


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning I am awoken by Marriana bustling around me.

"Good morning Peyson, it is time for breakfast and then the king has asked that you are brought to see him, I believe Lord Faramir would like to see you," she says and the smile that had spread across my face at the mention of Aragorn's name freezes in place as apprehension fills me once more.

"Oh, okay," I mutter after a while standing up and following her to the bathroom where I am once again cleaned and scrubbed and forced into a dress, although thankfully a slightly less complicated and decorative one, and my hair brushed and pinned back from my face slightly with sprigs of flowers.

"Peyson," Legolas smiles as I exit my room and see him standing close by, "I was waiting for you," he explains clearly reading the confusion on my face.

"I have to see…"

"Aragorn and Faramir, I know, I thought you might want some company and… support,"

"You know me too well my friend," I sigh softly and offer him a smile as he places my hand through his own arm and begins to walk us down the corridor.

"I merely read you well and know you well enough to know that you would be anxious about speaking to Faramir of his brother," he replies quietly and I nod appreciating once again that he knows me so well he is happy for us to walk the rest of the way in silence so I can get my head together.

"I don't know what to say to him," I croak eventually when we have come to a stand still outside a door.

"Just tell him the truth my friend, Aragorn will be with you you have nothing to fear," easy for him to say I think as I push open the door under his watchful gaze.

"My lady," the voice is so warm and friendly and so like Boromir's that for a moment I am caught completely off guard and simply stand there gaping until Aragorn appears in front of me.

"Little one what is wrong?" he asks in a hushed voice, his worry evident in his tone and so I breath a great gulping breath and shake my head a little at him.

"It is nothing I was just a little startled," I reply and although he looks at me for a little longer clearly not convinced he concedes and leads me to a chair where he sits beside me and Faramir, for that is who the other man must be he is so like Boromir, sits opposite me his face hopefully and open.

"I did not mean to startle you my lady," he starts but I hold up a hand and shake my head again,

"It is I who should be sorry that was not a very good introduction your voice is just so like his was when I last heard it…" I start faltering as I see the grief in his eyes.

"You were with him… when he died?" he asks eventually his voice breaking ever so slightly at the end and I nod.

"And more recently than that," I say after a glance at Aragorn confirms that he has told at least part of my story to him.

"So it is true?" He asks in slight awe as he gazes at me with renewed interest.

"What is?" I ask trying not to blush or fidget uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"You have the sight,"

"I have… something, I do not yet understand it or how it works," I confess quietly glancing down at my hands where they twisted together in my lap, a nervous habit of mine, where was my bow when I needed it, I would usually go and shoot some arrows if I felt unsettled not sit around talking and wearing a dress no less.

"The king…"

"Aragorn," Aragorn interrupts and corrects him, "you are a friend and you are the captain of Gondor please use my name,"

"I am sorry, Aragorn," Faramir apologises and I glance up pride filling me as I watch this exchange, he really was going to be the greatest king ever.

"So what did Aragorn tell you?" I inject to ease the embarrassment between the two of them.

"He has said that you have had a vision of… of my brother," his voice breaks a little again at the end of his sentence as the gravity of what we are talking about once again sinks in and I gulp another breath as a shiver of apprehension rushes through me.

"In the final battle I… after it was over I… well I died," I start unable to look either of them in the face as I feel Aragorn tense visibly beside me and hear Faramir's slight intake of breath at my admission. "Anyway," I continue, "when I did… die I mean, I somehow transported myself to this in-between place, a place where I was between life and death and Boromir was there to greet me. He… he told me what I had to do and that one day he would see me again, see us all again, that he waiting for us and that… he told me to tell you that he was happy and that he is so proud of you, he really wanted you to know that," I finish my faltering speech and risk a quick glance up I see tears making silent tracks down Faramir's face and Aragorn is also looking suspiciously glassy eyed. "I am sorry if I have distressed you," I say quietly ducking my head again before snapping it back up as I hear a short bark of laughter.

"You have not distressed me my lady rather brought me great joy and closure. Thank you. My brother was a good man, he struggled I know and Aragorn has spoken to me of what happened but I am glad that you have forgiven him and are able to speak so highly of him," he finishes and I shoot a look at Aragorn confusion racing through me.

"He saved my life, I owe him my life," I say in a slightly louder voice than I had planned and they both look a little shocked.

"You are a good woman my lady and I hear a great warrior," Faramir says now and I can feel my cheeks heating up again much to my chagrin.

"I do not know about that my lord Faramir, I have much training to do yet I feel," I say with a smile and both men laugh.

"You shall make a great and interesting queen," Faramir smiles and I flush again as I do every time someone mentions my becoming queen or marrying Aragorn, actually I just seem to spend a lot of my time blushing these days.

"Thank you," I mutter,

"I shall take my leave now I need to see to the men there is still much to be done with repairs and patrols, thank you again my lady you have brought me great peace," Faramir says as he gets up and bows slightly walking to the door before pausing and turning back towards me, "let me know if there is ever a way I can repay you,"

"I have one request," I say and he smiles nodding for me to continue and tell him my wish, "my name is Peyson please call me that, I am not used to the title you give me," I say and he smiles again bowing and then leaving. Silence suddenly surrounds me as I turn to look at Aragorn who is smiling at me lovingly.

"You look perplexed," he states eventually sitting down beside me again.

"Why did you tell him what Boromir… why did you tell him that?" I ask and I feel a hint of anger in my voice as I say it that Faramir has had to hear such horrible things about his brother.

"He is the captain of my guard and an honourable man, he deserved the truth," he replies simply and whilst I know that if I chose to I could push the conversation but there is something in his tone that brokers no argument and so I simply stand and walk to where he has found himself standing by the door.

"I love you so much you know," I say quietly and the happiness on his face as I say this to him leaves me in no doubt as to his feelings for me in return.

"And I you," he whispers back his voice husky and deep as he dips his head and kisses me deeply. "I must leave to speak with the council here and you must make arrangements,"

"What arrangements?" I ask in confusion still trying to clear my foggy mind and understand what he is talking about.

"For our wedding little one, I can not stand much longer to be parted from you all the time, I wish to have you to myself all the time," he almost growls and I instantly feel the fierce blush that rushes to my cheeks.

"Oh, how…?" I stutter blushing further as he laughs and kisses me again,

"Marriana will help you find the right people to speak to and help organise everything with you and I believe Eowyn is waiting in the hall for you too," he says and I feel myself perk up at the mention of Eowyn.

"Eowyn is here? I have not seen her since the battle, is she well?" I say immediately and he laughs again pulling me gently towards him and holding me against his solid chest.

"She is quite well little one and I think you may be pleased with some news she has for you,"

"What news?" I ask excitedly and he shakes his head,

"That is for her to tell you not I," he says smiling, "now come or you shall never find out and I shall never be able to find within myself to drag myself to do my work," he sighs and I laugh this time leaning up to give him one last lingering kiss before we exit the room.

"Oh my lady I'm so sorry…" the young woman's voice fades almost as soon as I touch her and she begins speaking as I am suddenly not in the corridor anymore but in a small house in Minis Tirith somewhere and I can hear the cries of a woman in pain. I stare around wildly stumbling back in shock as I see a young woman a new born baby in her arms and blood pouring from her. I watch as her life slips away from her. Blinking back the tears I open my eyes and see myself watching a young child standing by a grave but before I can understand what I am seeing everything becomes a blur and I am standing before a happy little family sitting around a small dinner table and I smile before the image changes again. This time it's different, this time I am looking at something that has not happened yet. I don't know how I know it, it is almost like there is a shimmer around the figures that shows me they are not quite memories. I watch as the two children run around before gasping as one of them trips and falls knocking their head and falling unconscious, I watch as the other one sits beside the small body crying as no one comes and her little life slips away. I gasp and as if breaking through the surface of a body of water I am back in the corridor with the young woman and Aragorn. My legs buckle and I find myself on the floor gasping for breath desperately trying to fill my empty lungs, everything fuzzy and dancing in and out of blackness.

"Little one…" the voice is panicked and I know it is Aragorn, I can feel his presence and it eases me slightly allowing me to draw breath, drinking in the oxygen as tears stream down my face.

"My lady…" the voice of the young woman sounding equally as perturbed startles me back to what I had seen and I spin to her, barely seeing her as the dark spots continue to dance in my vision.

"You must get home," I gasp, "a child… there are two children… one is hurt… or about to be hurt… terribly so… please go quickly… Aragorn," I am panting again my lungs not getting the air they need as I begin to panic, not understanding what I had seen, what I was feeling.

"Go, tell no one of this. I will send a healer to you and as soon as all is well you must come to see me," Aragorn tells her and there is a flurry of activity and I am alone with him as he lifts me to him and begins to walk with me.

"I… I'm sor…" I try to speak but it is too difficult as exhaustion seems to wash over me and everything becomes heavy.

"Shh… I have you little one, rest now I'll be here when you wake," I just about hear the end of his sentence before darkness closes in.


	27. Chapter 27

As awareness seems to wash back over me my eyes flutter open and I see that I am back in my room and tucked neatly under the covers.

"Peyson you are awake how do you feel?" the female voice startles me slightly expecting to hear Aragorn's voice and it takes me a few minutes to focus on the woman beside me but when I do a small smile spreads across my face.

"Eowyn," I say, my voice hoarse as if I had been crying and noticing she quickly gets me some water and helps me to take a drink, "I have missed you my friend, how are you feeling I was worried?" I ask and she laughs.

"I am well my friend although it is I who should be worrying for you not the other way around," she says.

"I am well, just a disorientated," I reply and she smiles the door opening before I can say anything else.

"Lady Eowyn thank you for sitting with Peyson while I was engaged with the council," Aragorn says and she laughs.

"There is no need to thank me Peyson is my friend and I owe her many things including my life and my happiness,"

"Wait… I don't…" I begin trying to work out what is being said here whilst stilling the now pounding headache I had suddenly begun.

"You helped me into battle and kept me strong and because of that I was able to meet a wonderful man whom I shall marry," she says and I try to leap out of bed and hug her only to me stilled by the pain in my head and their hands stopping me and admonishing me for being so active.

"That is wonderful news I am so happy for you, who is he? Have I met him? When will the wedding be?" I babble causing them both to laugh.

"I believe you met him just a couple of hours ago," she says and I glance at Aragorn's smirk before yelping out loud again and pulling her to me.

"You mean Faramir?" I ask and when she nods in confirmation the smile on her face at risk of splitting it wide open I can feel my own expression mirroring hers. "I am so pleased for you my friend he is a noble and kind man and will treat you as an equal… and if he doesn't he shall have me to answer to," I say beaming at her and she beams back before bidding me a farewell with the promise of a catch up and wedding planning session soon.

"How are you really little one?" Aragorn asks sitting in the seat Eowyn had vacated after pulling it closer to the bed and watching me squint slightly against the pounding in my head and sink back under the covers a little.

"My head is pounding as if a pack of orc are in there doing a dance but other than that I am well, if a little confused," I confess and he sighs a little leaning forward to take my hand gently in his.

"What happened?" he asks after a long silence and I turn to him and offer him what I hope is a confident smile.

"I had a vision as soon as she touched me it was like the others I was suddenly in her life as a child and then something different… I saw the future, I think, that's never happened but the visions were shimmery and different. Maybe I didn't though it might not have been…" I finish hoping for reassurance but before he opens his mouth I know it is not coming, I can see it in his face.

"They brought her sister into the infirmary twenty minutes ago, she suffered a head wound whilst playing with her brother. You saved her life my love,"

"So I saw the future?" I ask in a shocked whisper and he nods offering me a slight smile although I can read worry in his expression too.

"As soon as her sister regains consciousness I have asked the young woman, the maid who ran into you,"

"Why?" I ask in confusion,

"Little one, your gift… it is special, few in Middle Earth are gifted with sight and it is important that until you have had a chance to perfect your skills that they are kept hidden," he explains and the worry in his face is increasing and it makes the slight panic in my blood pump more quickly.

"Why must it be kept hidden though?" I ask still confused, the pain in my head making it harder to focus on things.

"There are still enemies out there my love, enemies of peace and enemies of me, it is well known that you are to be my wife and I do not want you in danger,"

"I can look after myself you know," I say immediately trying to ignore the fact that I can hear the petulance in my voice and the frustration in his answering sigh.

"I am well aware of that little one however there is little point in putting yourself in needless danger when we could avoid it,"

"But what if I never perfect this sight, we cannot possibly keep it hidden forever unless you mean to keep me locked away where I can come in to contact with no one," the tiny amount of fear is evident in my voice now and growing quickly and he immediately moves himself onto the bed beside me pulling me into his arms and cloaking me in his own warmth and safety.

"I would never lock you away just as I would never put you in needless danger, I have faith in you, your strength and ability you will control this. I have sent for Gandalf and he will be here in a few days to begin your training," he whispers into my hair and I make a little noise of contentment as I burrow further into his chest relishing the comfort I find there.

It is a soft knock on the door that stirs me and the grunt by my ear tells me that Aragorn had fallen asleep with me and even as he kisses me on the side of the head and pulls away to see who is at the door I am struck by the feeling that soon we would be able to fall asleep and wake up in one another's arms every day.

"Are you well?" his voice drags me from my thoughts and unable to keep the content smile from my face I nod my head slightly and pull myself into a sitting position.

"My king you asked to see me," the young woman says as he opens the door to reveal her standing on the other side of it.

"I did please come in," he replies stepping aside and gesturing for her to sit beside my bed in the chair he had been sitting in.

"My lady, I hope you are feeling better," she says quietly as she sits beside me and looks at me and I can't quite hide the smile that wants to become a nervous giggle at being looked upon and spoken to in this way by a someone who looked to be my age.

"I am well but for a slight headache," I respond and she smiles back at me before we both look to Aragorn to continue.

"Miss…"

"Annabeth, my name is Annabeth," she supplies as he falters and he smiles at her,

"What were you doing in the corridors this morning?" he asks and she looks almost startled for a second as if she were in trouble.

"I work here my lord, I am maid,"

"To anyone in particular?" he asks and she shakes her head with a nervous little giggle that makes me feel instantly sorry for her, I was the same as this girl if I had been born in this city and never met Aragorn I would be the same.

"I am not lucky enough to have a job like that I just do general cleaning and fetching and carrying, I was on my way to get some more logs for one of the hall fires when I ran into you," she explains and he nods along.

"The reason I wanted to see you Miss Annabeth, what happened earlier…"  
"My little sister she…"

"How is she?" I interrupt speaking for the first time and seemingly surprising both of them as they spin to look at me.

"She is healing my Lady, you… you saved her life," she says falteringly blinking away the tears in her eyes.

"I am glad," I smile and she smiles back albeit with a trembling lip.

"How did you know?" she asks quietly staring at me with wide eyes and I look to Aragorn suddenly understanding that people might not understand, suddenly feeling the fear that had eluded me earlier.

"You must not speak of it Annabeth do you understand? What Lady Peyson saw, what she told you, you must keep it to yourself," Aragorn says urgently stepping forward and she nods her head emphatically.

"Of course My Lord… I mean King, I will not breath a word," she says staring at him in utter reverence and I once again spend a moment marvelling over how this wonderful and perfect man could have chosen me of all people.

"Your parents?" Aragorn asks now bringing me back down to reality and into the room again.

"My mother died when my youngest sister was born and my father was killed in the battle here," her voice is soft and she doesn't cry yet I can sense the pain in her words and I feel the pain of my own parents deaths all over again.

"Both Lady Peyson and I know what it is to lose those that you love, to lose parents in battle, if you do as I ask and keep quiet about what happened you will be well looked after here," Aragorn says equally as softly as she had and she looks up at him and even from my angle I can see the tears in her eyes as she tries to blink them away.

"Thank you… thank you so much I don't know what to… I won't breathe a word I promise you," she stutters and he smiles graciously at her as he ushers her out of the room and shuts the door.

"Do you think we can trust her?" I ask after we have sat together in silence for a while and he looks at me as if startled from a trance and remembering that I am there for the first time.

"What do you think?" he asks and I gaze back at him for a while whilst I sort out my thoughts.

"I think we can, I think she is honest and honourable,"

"Yes she reminds me of you in that respect," he smiles and I feel my cheeks flush a little not just at the compliment but because I get the distinct impression that he knows that I was thinking she reminded me of me.

It is three days before Gandalf arrives and in that time I have been kept well away from everyone and am about to go completely insane. I get that we are all worried that I'll have another insane vision and collapse in front of everyone and they have made up this excuse about me being taken ill and so only Eowyn, Legolas, Aragorn and Haldir have been allowed in to see me but I was never good at being kept inside.

"Ah Peyson my dear," A gruff voice exclaims from the doorway as I pace up and down by my window.

"Gandalf!" I cry rushing to him and throwing my arms around him in delight, partly for seeing him and partly in delight at the fact that I would finally be allowed to get out of this room again.

"It is good to see you looking so well my friend," he chuckles as I pull away from him and I frown at him slightly.

"What do you mean, I am perfectly fine?"

"The word around Minis Tirith is that you have fallen ill some three days ago and the king is mightily worried for his future wife,"

"Oh that, well…" I trail off not knowing what to say but he starts laughing,

"Aragorn has told me all child, now you must pack we leave in an hour," I smile and move before freezing in my tracks.

"Wait… what? I don't understand?"

"Your training cannot be done here Peyson it is too risky, you will travel with Haldir and I to Lothrein and will train under both myself and the Lady of the wood, she is to leave soon, to sail to the Grey Havens and we time is short," he is explaining everything so quickly that I can barely keep up.

"But… Aragorn," the mere thought of being dragged away from him again makes me feel like my heart is being ripped out and my throat constrict.

"He has been informed just before I came in here and is with Legolas now who will stay here with him and Gimli until the time of your return and your wedding,"

"But…" I try again not knowing what to say injustice and hurt welling up inside me.

"It is the only way to ensure everyone's safety Peyson including yours… and Aragorn's," he adds seeing me about to intervene and I eventually stop arguing and just nod my head mutely whilst he leaves me to pack and to presumably send Aragorn in.

Half an hour later I have packed my bags and am just getting my weapons together after having pulled my boots on when the door to my room opens and Aragorn walks in closing it behind him, standing with his back leaning against it as he watches me only stepping forwards as I move to strap my sword to my waist his hands stilling my actions.

"You must leave without your weapons strapped to you," he says in a voice that is almost too controlled and void of emotion.

"But…" the idea of going anywhere without my weapons is so ludicrous I almost want to laugh,

"Haldir will take and you on his horse to keep up the pretence of your illness them and after you are out of sight of the city you will be able to transfer to your own horse," the heaviness in his voice is audible this time as is the worry and it makes my heart ache.

"It is not fair," I sigh quietly trying to keep the tears, that are so desperate to spring forth, at bay as I speak to him.

"I said the same thing to you once do you remember?" he asks his arms finding their way around my waist and pulling me towards him where I bury my face in his chest. Unable to speak for fear of crying I simply nod and his grip tightens slightly as if he knows what I am feeling. "The thought of being away from you pains my heart greatly too little one but it is the only way. You must have faith that it will not be for long and I hope that the thought of coming home to me will speed you in your training," he whispers into my hair and the tears I had been fighting break free from their barrier despite my best efforts.

"I do not want to leave you," I whimper and his hands stroking my hair and gripping me to him tightly are the only signal I have that he has heard my muffled words. For a long time we stand like this in silence my quiet sobs the only sound in the empty room.

"I do not wish for you to ever be out of my sight, I had hoped that the end of the war meant that I could keep you by my side always but it seems that fate is to intervene once more. It will not be for long little one I trust in that and whilst you are gone I shall make preparations so that when you return we will marry right away," he says smiling through the pain I see in his own eyes as he pulls away.

"I suppose we should get going then," I say walking towards the door before he stops me again.

"I must carry you," he says not quite meeting my eye as if he knows what my reaction will be.

"No way. You cannot be serious, I am fine… I will not…" the embarrassment making my cheeks flush and my voice falter.

"I know you hate to appear weak little one but it must appear that you are still ill and you are leaving to be healed by the elves," he says and I sigh heavily through my nose and very nearly stamp my foot as I glare up at him.

"I hate this… I hate this sight, I hate this situation, I just want to be normal," I sulk and he smiles a little at me stepping forward and taking my face in his hands.

"You will never be normal my little one and I understand your frustration but one day we may live to thank the Valar for your gifts, trust that they know what is best for us," he says softly, his breath ghosting over my lips and making my own breath hitch a little before his lips are suddenly moving against mine, soft and warm and yet undeniably passionate in a way that takes my breath away.

"Yes I suppose we had, besides they have done remarkable things for both of us before," I smile a little breathlessly and he returns my smile as he picks up my sword and bow throwing them over his shoulder before gently taking me into his arms and I bury my head in the crook of his neck as he carries me through to the stables where Gandalf and Haldir are waiting.


	28. Chapter 28

**Authors note: Just a short chapter to keep you all going. I hope you enjoy it and I promise the wedding is coming with hopefully no more interruptions. As always any suggestions let me know!**

Our journey to Lorien is uneventful although every moment away from Aragorn brings a new ache to my heart but Haldir and Gandalf do their best to keep me occupied.

"We are here My Lady," Haldir's voice says softly bringing me out of my latest daydream about Aragorn and I look up at the trees towering above me embracing the serenity that washes over me and relishing the look of absolute joy on Haldir's face as he sees his home again. We ride for perhaps two hours more before we find ourselves in from of the Lord and Lady of the woods and dismount quickly. I bow my head slightly as Haldir and Gandalf greet them heartily, as I would were I in front of Legolas and Aragorn and the hobbits again that thought sending a pang of anguishh through my heart before I can stop it.

"I am so pleased to see a face I had feared I may not amongst you," Galadriel smiles catching my eye as I look up, "Thank you Peyson, you have saved the life of a great friend at much cost to yourself and I shall help you to understand and control your gift in return for your gift," she smiles and I mimic it albeit nervously.

"Your gift is stronger than we had managed I hear that even the lady's gift was unable to keep the visions at bay," Celeborn says now and I look down again unable to hold his eye and feeling ashamed that I did not have any control over myself.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of child," Galadriel smiles now approaching me and placing a finger under my chin forces me to look at her as she gazes into my eyes and her voice once again fills my head as she speaks to me privately. "He would not want you feeling so anguished you will be with him again soon and I have already sent word that you have arrived safely," I give her a watery smile this time as a silent thank you.

"If you will excuse me my lord and lady I would like to visit with my brothers now that I am home," Haldir says and they both nod, "Lady Peyson I shall see you in a few days," he says turning to me before disappearing into the trees so quickly he is almost a blur. That is almost the most excited I have ever seen an elf and if he was not so graceful I would almost say he skipped away.

"Now go settle in and write to your betrothed before you rest we begin training at first light," Gandalf says and I turn to see an elf maiden has appeared by my side and is waiting to lead me off to my room so I nod and follow her silently.

"Here my lady let me know if you need anything," she says in and although she is speaking Westron I can tell it is something she struggles with.

"Diola lle (Thank you)," I say smiling a little as I see her shocked expression.

"lle quena lye lambe (you speak our tongue)," she says in shock and I smiling again, "amin, Amin caela n'ala omente en' lle race ya quena lye lambe (forgive me, I have never before met someone of your race who speaks our tongue)," she says and I giggle a little before I can stop myself.

"Amin dura tanya naa ten' eller naa il- nir', amin amin ere' sinta en' amin ar' er n'at tanya uma (I believe that is because there are not many, I myself only know of myself and one other that does)," I reply and she nods before smiling more brightly.

"i' arwen en' i' tanya lle caela y' a' send amin ta tuulo' lle e' i' amrun ar' ta, amin arwen (The lady of the wood said that you would have a letter to send I shall collect it from you in the morning and send it right away, goodnight my lady)," she bids me farewell and I shut the door and stare around the beautiful room for a minute or two before sitting at the small desk and pulling a piece of parchment towards me.

 _Aragorn,_

 _I have arrived and it is beautiful. I am beginning my training at first light in the morning._

 _I miss you. I know that I should say that I am loving it here already and that I will throw myself into my training in the hope of controlling this thing and I will but in truth it will be because I wish to get back to you. In truth every moment away from you makes my heart ache in a way I did not think possible._

 _I will be strong for you my love because I know that is what you would wish and I will return to you as soon as I possibly can, be safe and please check in on Annabeth and her siblings and send them my best. Oh and please let Marrianna know that I am well._

 _I love you and know that you are on my mind always._

 _Yours forever Peyson._

I fold the letter neatly and seal it resting it on the table and finally fall into my bed and a restless sleep.

I wake after only a few hours darkness still surrounding me but a few weak rays of light permeating the branches and the windows to let me know that dawn was fast approaching and so I drag my weary body from the bed and quickly wash and dress before crossing to the desk and letting my fingers brush across the parchment there. Picking it up I tuck in quickly into my belt before heading down the stairs and out into the forest. I have been wandering through the trees for nearly twenty minutes before I realise that I have no idea where I am or where I am going and I am just beginning to think that I should not have left my room without someone to guide me when a voice behind me makes me jump round drawing my sword in reflex.

"Peace child, the war is over there is no threat in these woods," Lady Galadriel smiles and I feel my face flush as I drop my arm and sheath my sword.

"I am sorry… force of habit," I mutter and she simply smiles knowingly.

"Since long before you joined the fellowship," she says knowingly and I nod a little unable to meet her eye as she takes my arm instead and leads me to a clearing. "Would you like to give that letter to one of my messengers they will ensure it is with him before the end of the week," she says and I pull it out and hold onto it tightly for a moment before I hand it over to her and watch her give it to an elf with a series of instructions.

"Do you wish your granddaughter had stayed and was with him now?" I ask quietly as she walks to stand beside me once more.

"No. Peyson I have had many hundreds of years longer than you to understand my sight and I learnt to trust the visions I had as you will. Some things… most things are not set in stone, they can change as we change our decisions. You proved that when you saved the life of Haldir, I had seem him fall at that battle and he would have had you not intervened however some things are always meant to be. You and Aragorn, your union has been written for many centuries and the Valar have ensured that you found each other," she says and I stare at her in utter reverence as I digest this news.

"So how do I train then?" I ask after a minute and she smiles,

"Come, let us find a nice quiet spot where Gandalf shall join us and first we shall tell you a bit of history," she says leading me further into the forest again.

We sit for hours together on that first day discussing what my sight meant. I say we, I mostly just listened and tried to digest what I was hearing which was not easy. It turns out that I am the first non elf to receive the gift of sight in nearly a thousand years and that my sight is extremely powerful, it is rare for someone to be able to see things from just touching another person and even rarer that they can see moments from a persons past as well as future. It seems that my… gift, as that is what they are calling it can be unpredictable even with training and Galadriel has said that she has seen that it will be a great advantage to us in the future but that it could also put me in great peril. I think I may not mention that bit to Aragorn and the others.

The next two weeks drift by in a haze of meditation activities, trying to glean visions from touching various objects, learning to control my visions, passing out when the visions are too strong and waiting impatiently for the news that I can go home. It is at the end of the second week when I get two great pieces of news first that I shall be heading home the next day and then a letter from Gondor. I rush to my room as soon as I can that day, fully aware and choosing to ignore the looks that were being passed between Galadriel and Gandalf, looks that clearly said they were worried about something and that something was probably me but all I can care about at the moment was reading my letter. Reaching my room I shut the door quickly behind me and sink cross legged on my bed breaking open the seal on the letter with shaky hands.

 _Little one,_

 _I am glad you have arrived safely, it is a weight off my mind to know you are safe. I am perhaps more used to being separated from those I love as a ranger but it does not make it any easier and you as always make me different. I miss you more than I can say my little one._

 _Eowyn has taken on organising the biggest wedding Gondor has ever seen and I received word from Gandalf that you would be home by months end so Eowyn has decided that the wedding will be at the end of next month. A winter wedding she says but I am sure you shall have fun discussing such things with her when you are here._

 _Be safe my love and do not rush your training just to see me (I know what you are like)._

 _Yours always_

 _Aragorn._

Tears well in my eyes as I read and re-read the letter my heart aching to be near him so much so that an almost physical pain washes through me. A knock on my door startles me out of my dwelling and I blink back the tears quickly and tucking the letter under my pillow I move to open the door surprised to see Galadriel standing in the doorway.

"My Lady, did I miss a meeting with you?" I ask in confusion and she laughs lightly, a bell like sound that makes me think my own laughter must sound like an orcs bellow in comparison.

"I wanted a quick word before you left," she says and I nod.

"I do not leave until tomorrow…"  
"Plans have been changed you leave within the hour," she says and I start again in surprise moving back towards my bed as she enters behind me, closing the door and taking a seat at the desk.

"Has something happened?" I ask fear for Aragorn for the others creeping into my mind before I can even process anything else.

"There are enemies still in Middle Earth Peyson and we think it wise that you move before they find out that you are not in Gondor," she is speaking as if it is matter of fact and I am nodding along although I don't really have any idea what she is talking about and I know that she must be able to read that because whilst we have worked on building up my defences they are down at the moment and she is too powerful but she obviously does not seem to think she needs to explain further so I continue to nod politely.

"So I must be on the lookout for trouble?" I ask and she nods although I can tell she has not finished.

"You must always be on the lookout but that is not why I came. You are strong Peyson but you do not yet have full control over your power and there are those that would seek to destroy it," I gulp inwardly at this, definitely not mentioning this to Aragorn or he'll never let me out of my room again.

"Thank you… for everything," I say as she gets up to leave and she turns back to me when she is in the doorway.

"Trust in your strength Peyson and trust in your love," she turns to leave before pausing again as if deciding to impart another piece of information she had previously dismissed. "What you feel when you are apart from him… the pain it causes you it is linked to your sight, be careful," before I can ask what she means by the cryptic message she is gone and I am standing alone in the doorway.

"Are you ready My Lady?" Haldir asks just over an hour later when I descend to the forest floor my pack in place and my weapons strapped on.

"Have you come to say goodbye?" I ask smiling up at him and he smiles in return shaking his head slightly.

"Nay My Lady I am coming with you," he replies and it is at this moment that I notice his own weapons are in place and he is leading two horses.

"I can't let you," I exclaim in dismay as I look at him, "this is your home, this is where your family are,"

"I have said my goodbyes to my family they sail to the undying lands with the rest of my people here, those that stay will soon make their way to new forests across the land to heal the evil that has been done. I am bound to you My Lady and I will be honoured to serve you," he explains calmly and I am still gaping at him.

"But…"

"There is nothing you can say that will change the situation now we must be on our way," he says mounting his horse and handing me the reigns to mine and so sighing I mount my horse and silently we begin to walk. Leaving behind the safety of the forest in the dead of night silent for fear of enemies lurking on the outskirts of this paradise reminds me so much of my time during the war that it sends a shiver down my spine and only the knowledge that I was on my way back to Aragorn keeps me going and my heart from beating wildly out of fear.


	29. Chapter 29

Four days we have been travelling and it is our last night in the wild, Haldir has said we will be back in Minis Tirith by first light if we ride through the night which of course I agreed to do and my heart is feeling lighter every step closer to him.

"Come we are nearly there I can feel it," I say urging my horse into a gallop over the plains in the pitch black of the night the stars and moon invisible behind heavy clouds. He doesn't reply but I can hear the hooves of his horse thundering next to mine as rain begins to steadily fall. By the time I can see the dim lights of the city the rain is stinging my skin with its ferocity but I barely feel it in my hurry to get home and into Aragorn's arms.

"Open the gates," I hear the shout even above the noise of our horses and the rain hitting the ground and pull my horse to a trot nerves suddenly filling me. increasing as we move into the city and up through the levels until we reach the stables where I finally pull my horse to a stop leaning forward and patting her soaking neck even as a stable hand approaches.

"My lady you are better," a soldier I don't recognise exclaims as he approaches and I jump down onto shaky legs glancing up at him, how does he know who I am?

"Lady Peyson, we were told you would not return until he end of the month," Faramir shouts appearing now and bowing to me. This is all very strange and surreal and I have to take a breath to try and steady my shaking limbs and look like the woman they clearly expect me to be. The woman, I suddenly realise, I am going to have to be.

"There was a change of plan, Lady Galadriel thought it best I came home before any news could reach enemy ears," I say quietly. "Tell me where is the King?" I add now not understanding why he isn't here and hoping that it doesn't mean anything has happened.

"I have sent someone to wake him, he should be her any moment I am afraid Lady Eowyn has been driving us both into the ground with wedding plans," he grins and I feel more relaxed than I had since arriving at hearing this although I do not believe the tension would truly disappear until I was with him.

"When is your wedding to be?" I ask with a smile and he looks both elated and terrified as he opens his mouth to answer an expression that makes my heart swell for my new friends.

"Our wedding will be a week after your own," he replies and I am just about to respond when a commotion in the doorway startles me.

"Peyson…" Aragorn has me wrapped in his arms before I am even register what is happening and it is all I can do to hold in the sob of relief that wells in my chest as I cling to him, feeling as if all the tension I had been holding these last weeks is finally seeping out and into he floor of the stables. "Oh little one how I have missed you," he whispers into my hair, so quietly I know that no one else could possibly hear his words.

"I am just glad to be home," I whisper back fearing that if I tried to say anymore at the moment I would loose my composure completely.

"I had not expected you… Gandalf sent word that…" he trails off as he takes me in examining me closely, "Faramir," he says now, turning to the man who stood a distance away to give us privacy, whilst never letting go of me his fingers digging into me almost painfully as if afraid that if he let go I would disappear.

"Yes My King," he answers immediately stepping forward and I can feel Aragorn sigh a tiny bit, I am guessing they have had many conversations involving him telling Faramir to address him by his name. The thought makes me smile a little despite the coldness that I could now feel was beginning to seep into my very bones.

"Please get someone to fetch Lady Peyson's maids and ask them to draw her a warm bath and prepare her rooms," he says and Faramir is gone before I can protest.

"Aragorn you shouldn't…" I start not wanting to wake the poor women but I am interrupted yet again.

"He is right my friend you are wet through and we have travelled hard over the past few days to reach here you should listen to your lover," Haldir says quietly behind me making me jump, I had forgotten he was even here in my excitement at seeing Aragorn.

"So are you," I say before I can stop myself instantly aware that I sound like a petulant child again and both of them laugh causing me to flush and turn away slightly in embarrassment.

"Aye, that I am and I will take my leave now to find my own room and rest, although as you well know My Lady as an elf I feel neither the cold or the effects of lack of sleep," he smirks and I glower at his receding back before turning to look up at Aragorn again as he pulls me closer.

"Come little one, let us get you warm and dry and then we shall talk properly about your adventures," he whispers leaning down and brushing his lips against the shell of my ear causing a shiver, that had nothing to do with the cold, sweep down my spine before leading me away from the stables and into the vast building that I now called home.

By the time we reach the door to my room I am almost ready to sob with relief, every muscle in my body seems to be aching and tired and the coldness is making it hard to function.

"My Lady welcome home," Marrianna exclaims as Aragorn opens the door and guides me through it and I offer her a smile unable to think of any response by this point, "come… oh you are like ice quick into the washroom with you and you stay here," she says to Aragorn and I almost want to laugh at the look he has plastered across his face. Before I know it I have been ushered into the washroom the door shut and I have been stripped and guided into the bath hissing as the hot water stings my frozen skin.

"Treya get into the room and make sure the King is sitting by the fire and is comfortable and nowhere near this room," a few minutes later the door opens again and I can see Treya's head poke through.

"Marrianna, the king says he must see her," she says in a slightly trembling voice,

"He can see her when she has been washed and changed and is in her bed," Marrianna replies sharply.

"But he is the king," poor Treya sounds terrified and my heart goes out for her caught between these two incredibly stubborn people.

"I don't care if he is the king he can wait three weeks until he is married to her before he comes anywhere near her in this state of undress I will not allow him to damage her honour," she says and I can hear his frustrated tones carrying through the room, knowing that he must be equal parts shamefaced and angry.

"Henriq, go fetch Lady Peyson's nightdress please and a wrap," Marrianna instructs now as she begins to clean and brush through my hair and I settle down closing my eyes and feeling the pins and needles in my limbs subside as warmth begins to slowly come back to me. I am relishing the feeling of being back at home and with my new mother figure, something I had not realised how much I missed before I came here when I feel the water draining away and instructions are being called out to bring me some food and a hot drink.

"Thank you," I whisper sleepily as she helps me stand and begins to dry me, so tired I can not even find it within me to be embarrassed by my state of undress.

"Come let us get you into bed Peyson and get some food into you, you are naught but skin and bone," she says gruffly as she pulls the long white night dress over my head and a swollen shawl around my shoulders before leading me into my room and under the covers where Aragorn is immediately beside me my hand is his despite the fact that I can barely keep my eyes open.

"How do you feel my love?" he whispers to me his thumb gently stroking the back of my hand sending me even deeper into my trance like state.

"Mm… tired," I slur back and I hear him chuckle slightly before I feel his lips against my forehead.

"Sleep little one you can tell me all in the morning," he whispers now and I am asleep before I can respond.

When I wake my entire body feels heavy and whilst I know I have slept well I feel exhausted and shivery. I seem to ache all over and cannot contain the tiny whimper that escapes me as I attempt to move and the sunlight burns my eyes causing me to screw them shut and turn away. The room is silent and empty and after a few minutes of laying there a powerful nausea rushes through me and I just about manage to scramble out of bed and into he washroom before I empty my stomach. Sitting back against the wall I try to calm my wildly beating heart feeling the sweat cooling all over my body and causing me to shiver again, my head pounding in time with my heart and then a knock on the door that adds to it. Somehow I manage to stand and walk back into my room using the wall to support me as my legs wobble and shake beneath me, glancing up I see Aragorn entering and closing the door.

"Good morning little one how are…" he trails off as he turns round and sees me and I can see the worry cloud his face, I must look as awful as I feel then.

"I think the cold must finally have caught up with me," I manage to whisper feeling my legs buckle as my head begins to swim.

"Peyson," his cry penetrates my foggy mind and I manage to open my eyes as I feel him pick me up cradling me to him as he carries me back to bed.

"Aragorn what is wrong?" that's Legolas' voice I realise and I turn my head to see him reach Aragorn's side and stare down at me in equal concern.

"Legolas, I have missed you," I whisper aware suddenly that my breath is harsh and rattling in my lungs loud to my ears.

"She is burning with fever," Aragorn says and the concern in his voice making my heart constrict a little and my hand reaches almost unconsciously for his and he grasps it in his own instantly.

"I shall go and get Haldir he can bring some herbs to help heal her and I'll fetch her maids to help bathe her she needs cooling down," Legolas says before he is gone.

"I am sorry," I whisper when we are alone and he grips my hand more tightly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for my love," he says his lips by my ear and I am suddenly reminded of the moments after I was injured at Helms Deep when he was with me like this, reassuring me in the same way.

"I am always worrying you it seems," I say now my voice feeling rough before nausea rushes through me again and I scramble to move, "I am going to be sick," I say and he rushes to get a pot and then holding it for me to vomit in his other hand strokes my back gently as he mutters soothing words.

"Where is she?" a booming female voice echoes through my head just as I finish vomiting and slump backwards again, "oh, dear you are a state right she needs to bathe in cool water to bring down her fever, I'll fill the bathtub and you bring her through we will put her in with her nightdress on," she says and I listen to her bustle around before Aragorn lifts me to him again and places me into the cold water making me whimper and yelp and cling to him like a pathetic child and his anguish at causing me discomfort is so audible in his voice as he tries to calm me.

"Aragorn," a voice calls out and he looks up his grip tightening even further as he does so.

"Haldir, through here," he calls back and Marrianna nearly has a fit when the two elves walk through but when they insist they are not leaving without giving me some medicine she relents and allows them to prepare and feed me a concoction of herbs that very nearly makes me vomit again before making me incredibly drowsy at which point I have just enough awareness to hear Marrianna ordering them out of the room and Treya and Henriq arriving to help change me into dry clothes before consciousness leaves me completely.

It is over a week before I am feeling back to my normal self and am able to leave my room and walk around the city again. Haldir and Legolas have been to see me twice a day with medici to help speed my recovery and Aragorn has only left me this past couple of days since my fever broke and he could no longer stay away from the meetings. The morning air is fresh and clean as I wander around relishing the feeling of being well eventually finding myself at the tree again smiling as I see the tiny blooms beginning to bud, the prophecy was true the tree was alive again because the rightful heir was on the throne.

"It warms my heart to see you well again little one," a voice says softly behind me as a warm and familiar hand gently grasps mine, fingers intertwining and leading me to a small bench where we can sit and look out over the country.

"Thank you for looking after me," I whisper after a moment and he smiles at me wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me further into his side.

"I would do it a million times over for you my love, I was worried for a time that we would have to put back the wedding," he admits now and I laugh a little although I feel both guilty and embarrassed as I remember the state he found me in.

"Are you sure you still want to marry me after all you have now seen?" I ask not quite able to meet his eye despite my jovial tone and he sighs a little pulling my face round so that I am forced to look him in the eye.

"You are my destiny Peyson, you always have been and nothing would stop me from marrying you in a weeks time," he says seriously making me blush under his intense stare and as if sensing the change in atmosphere he adds, "besides I believe Eowyn would kill us both if all of her plans went to wrack and ruin," which makes me laugh.

"I would hate to disappoint her… or face her wrath," I giggle and he leans forward to kiss my temple.

"Come it is getting cold and I shall not have you catching another fever," he says pulling me up and leading me inside where I am immediately ambushed by said woman.

"Oh Peyson I am so pleased to see you well, come we have much to do and you must try on your dress," she exclaims whisking me away quickly and I am only able to catch a quick glance of his smiling face as we round the corner.

Just over seven days later and I am standing in my room surrounded by women fussing over me and feeling incredibly overwhelmed by everything in fact if it wasn't for the fact that Aragorn was waiting for me and he had to be king I would have suggested running away and doing this all very quietly.

"Be still Peyson you are making it very difficult to fix this," Treya says for what must be the hundredth time this morning and I scowl slightly in response.

"I am sorry but I am not used to such fancy garments," I reply and Eowyn laughs at me from her seat on the end of my bed.

"You shall have to get used to it my friend you shall be a Queen before the end of this day," she says and I blanche as I realise the truth in the words, blind panic washing over me like a wave.

"I don't think I can do this," I whisper feeling lightheaded.

"Do what?" Marianna asks as she fiddles with my hair,

"Marry him, be queen, I know nothing about being a lady… a queen," I stutter feeling the blood rushing away from my face even as I say it.

"Do you love him?" she asks now standing in front of me and I look at her startled by the ridiculousness of the question.

"Of course, more than anything," I reply instantly and she smiles.

"Right Treya, Henriq, go make sure the guests are ready we will be at the chapel in ten minutes," she says and they nod curtsying slightly to me and Eowyn before leaving Eowyn now fussing with my dress behind me.

"You need to eat more my friend this dress has had to be adjusted far too much," she says and although I cannot see her I can hear the smile in her voice and I smirk despite the fear still coursing through me.

"It is not my fault I have been ill," I reply and she laughs aloud this time.

"I shall go and make sure Legolas is outside and ready," she says squeezing my arm lightly as she leaves the room. Legolas was giving me away as my own father was gone and I had no other family.

"Now sit down for a minute Peyson I wish to speak to you," Marrianna says and I obey her quietly staring up at her as she fixes a tiara into my hair and attaches the veil. "You said to me when you arrived that you were not used to being treated like a lady," she starts and I nod a tiny bit, "I have heard that your own parents died in an ambush," he continues and I nod despite the tears already pooling in my eyes.

"They did, that is how I met Aragorn and joined the fellowship," I whisper, "I miss them so very much Marrianna but you have made it easier for me, for the first time I feel like I have someone like a mother in my life again," I say and she smiles tears in her own eyes as she grasps my hands in hers.

"You may not feel like a lady or a queen Peyson but you demonstrate the traits of one every single day. You are brave and caring and loyal, you shall make a fantastic queen of Gondor and it will be an honour for me to serve you just as it already is," she says and I pull her to me suddenly holding her tightly and crying into her neck. "Come now child you shall ruin all of our hard work," she soothers after a second pulling away and quickly fixing my face and pulling the veil down over my face before helping me to stand and guiding me towards the door.

"You look radiant my friend," Legolas says as he sees me and walks towards me taking my hand and looping it gently through his arm leading me down the corridor.

"This dress will be the death of me, I can barely breathe," I mutter to him and he chuckles a little,

"But it will be worth it when you see the look on Estel's face," he says making me blush and duck my head choosing to examine the intricate beading and needlework on the dress. The corset of which is pulling my waist in tightly and glittering in the sunlight, the full skirts flared out around me and trailed behind me with the veil, I had to admit that I did feel like a princess for the first time in my life and even if I did prefer to wear trousers and a tunic with a sword strapped to my waist I would be lying if right now, despite the nerves, I felt beautiful for the first time.

"This is it then," I say as we reach the doors behind which stood the guests and Aragorn,

"No turning back, are you ready?" he asks and I nod to which he smiles before squeezing my fingers gently.

I don't think I have ever felt so loved than I do right now and I don't think I shall ever forget the look in Aragorn's eye as I met him at the end of that aisle, if I had ever in my life doubted his love for me, I knew in that it was absolute and my heart felt whole. I shall never have to spend a night away from him again and I would finally be able to start my new life, I had a true family recognised by all and despite the fact that I was still terrified about the whole being a Queen thing, I knew that with him by my side I could do anything. Everyone was here too, Gimli and the hobbits had come back and so had Gandalf even Eomer and some of the others from Rohan had made the journey along with the elves of Lorien and I felt as if my face was splitting from the smile that had been plastered across it for hours now. By the time night has fallen I have managed to escape for a few moments and made my way outside to breathe the fresh air when strong arms wrap around my was it pulling me against a solid chest and a familiar smell fills my nose.

"Hello," I say quietly turning my head slightly to look up at him.

"Isn't it wonderful to know that I can hold you like this whenever I like now," he comments and I laugh a little.

"I think people may say something about it after a while," I say and he buries his head in my neck seeming to inhale my own scent.

"Well I am king and you are queen we shall make it law," he says and I laugh again before I gaze back out into he darkness of the night Galadriel's warning suddenly filling my mind:

 _"_ _You are strong Peyson but you do not yet have full control over your power and there are those that would seek to destroy it… Trust in your strength Peyson and trust in your love… What you feel when you are apart from him… the pain it causes you it is linked to your sight, be careful,"_

What could it all mean, surely I would not be separated from him again.

"Does something trouble you little one?" he asks now and I startle a little turning around in his arms and winding my own around his neck as he begins to dance us around to no music at all.

"No… I was just enjoying the stillness of the night, enjoying being with you without anyone else here, I think it has been quite a while since that has been the case," I reply and he smiles dipping his head to kiss me stopping the swaying of our dance as I moan quietly and he deepens the kiss.

"Come little one before I loose all control and take you back to our marriage bed before the party is over," he almost growls and I feel the shiver of anticipation run down my spine.


	30. Chapter 30

Shutting the door quietly behind me I turn and have to stifle a gasp at the beauty of the room, the centre piece of which is a huge four poster bed covered in rose petals with candles casting a soft glow over the whole room.

"This is so beautiful," I murmur feeling his arms wrap around my waist from behind and his nose nuzzle my neck.

"It pales in comparison to your own beauty my love," he whispers and I giggle partly from embarrassment and partly from nerves, moving away from him to sit on the edge of the bed beginning feel uncomfortable as the corset of the dress continued to cut into my waist as it had all day. "What is wrong little one?" he asks kneeling in front of me and taking my hands in his effectively stilling their twisting.

"You always read me so well," I sigh glancing up at him and he smiles in response shaking his head a little.

"I remember a time when I read everything wrongly and hurt you continuously," he says and my hand finds his cheek my fingers stroking across his features and relishing the look of joy on his face as he leans in to my touch.

"That all seems like so long ago now doesn't it?" I say quietly and he smiles shuffling forwards slightly so that he is now resting between my legs his arms winding around my waist and his face planting tiny kisses against my neck causing delicious shivers to run up and down my spine.

"Aye it does, now what is troubling you?" he whispers against my skin and I sigh again.

"I am afraid Aragorn," I admit pulling away slightly and attempting to move across the room but succeeding only in nearly falling into the fire, bloody dress.

"Of what little one?" He asks getting to his feet and moving to stand before me his face once more showing concern.

"Of this… all of this… I do not know if I shall be okay… I…" I trail off trying to work out what to say, "I love you Aragorn, so much but my mother died before we could ever talk about… I just…" I falter again feeling the heat rise in my cheeks and tears well in my eyes.

"Oh little one, there is no need for you to be afraid we will never do anything unless you are ready for it do you understand I shall never force you into anything," he soothes and I nod moving closer to him and into his embrace, "how about we get into our night things and just hold one another tonight knowing that we can do this every night for the res of our lives?" he says and I beam at him.

"Oh Valar yes, this dress is beginning to make me bleed I think," I exclaim and he laughs as he moves to begin unlacing it.

I simultaneously breathe a sigh of relief as the pressure is released from around my ribs and waist and suck in a breath of apprehension as his finger trail gently across the skin of my waist.

"Come little one let us bathe and then sleep," he whispers helping me to step out of the dress and stand before him in my undergarments feeling equal parts like a goddess and a frightened child, it really was getting very confusing.

"Okay," I breathe back following him obediently and standing beside the tub as he dips his hand into the water to check it is still warm, in here too there are petals everywhere including hundreds floating on the surface of the water and I can feel a tiny smile tugging at my lips despite my nerves before I realise that he is in front of my again.

"Little one, I know you are nervous, look I'll turn away and you can get in first the petals will keep you covered," he suggests and I smile nodding at him and leaning up to kiss him briefly before turning away from him and undressing completely and stepping into the warm water.

"Okay I'm ready," I say in a voice so tiny it makes me cringe and I try desperately to hold in the gasp and furious blush as he quickly strips down to nakedness and steps into the water behind me.

"You are so beautiful," he murmurs as he picks up a cloth and begins to wash my back.

"I am average at best Aragorn and am covered in scars," I laugh and he mutters something under his breath before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me flush against him making me squeal in shock.

"Do you feel how much I love you, how much your beauty affects me?" He growls and I shudder, there was no doubt in my mind what he meant and I could definitely feel it against my back causing fear, wonder and arousal to flood through me.

"I have never… I am nervous because I have never…" I stutter and he chuckles lightly against my back.

"Neither have I little one, we shall discover what it is to love completely together," I turn slightly to stare at him in shock at this news and read only complete sincerity in his eyes.

"But I thought… Hallebrad told me stories of the rangers," I say in wonder as I continue to stare at him his own cheeks flushed with what I think is arousal but I don't really have a clue all I can think is that it makes him look even more handsome.

"The rangers yes and men too generally do not wait for marriage but I was raised by the elves Peyson and they have different values, values which became my own also," he whispers and turn completely now to straddle his lap as I kiss him fully.

"I'm ready," I say before I talk myself out of it, "please," I add as if he needed further encouragement and he nods deepening the kiss and moving his hands down to my chest, his fingers brushing against my nipples and causing me to moan and arch into him.

We spend the night exploring each others bodies discovering everything that makes the other cry out in pleasure and by the time that the first rays of sun are beginning to peak through the blinds across the window I am exhausted and sated and happier than I have ever been.

"I love you," I whisper my voice hoarse from crying out so often during our love making last night and he leans forward in response as I roll onto my front his lips finding the very top of the scar across my back and I can feel his smile as he begins kissing all the way down the scar making me shiver slightly.

"I love you more," he mutter eventually and I laugh,

"Even with the scar?" I ask looking over my shoulder at him as he works his way back up my body flipping me onto my back and laying over me.

"Especially with the scar," he replies punctuating each word with a kiss making me giggle, "this scar just reminds me of what a brave and fearless warrior I have married,"

"So I can still train? because I do not think I can be the sort of queen or wife to sit in pretty dresses and drink tea all day," I say and he laughs this time before kissing me again.

"No indeed if you became that woman then I would wonder what happened to my little one, we shall train together and you shall be part of Gondor's army," he promises and I squeal a little with relief and joy throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him toward me crushing my lips to his before pulling away as we both laugh.

Half an hour later a knock on the door brings us back to reality and as Aragorn gets up and throws a robe on I sigh and sink back into the blankets on the huge bed, a bed I suddenly realise, I would get to share with him every night for the the rest of my life. He checks I am covered before opening the door a crack and having a quick conversation, sighing himself as he shuts the door leans against it watching me.

"You have no idea how much I want to climb back into bed with you," he says and I smile at him,

"Then what is stopping you my handsome husband?" I say in what I think is a coy voice but is probably just vulnerable.

"Alas, reality calls and we must begin our duties, are you well enough to train today, Faramir has need of someone to help him and there are rumours of orcs around,"

"Really?" I ask in a yelp sitting up on my knees as he walks towards me pulling me into his chest as he reaches the bed.

"I can think of no one better suited to the job or who I trust more," he smiles as he nuzzles my neck.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I laugh jumping up and rooting around for my tunic and trousers as he laughs behind me. "So what are you doing today?" I ask once I have finished getting dressed and am braiding my hair.

"I have some meetings to attend with the council and Legolas, Haldir and some other Middle Earth representatives to discuss how we shall begin to recover from this war and keep Sauron's allies at bay," he says and I nod kissing him again as he helps to strap my sword to my side. "There, every inch the warrior I first met in the forest outside Rivendell," he smiles and I laugh at him.

"When we first met I stumbling around half dead from starvation and an arrow wound in my shoulder," I respond and he hands me my bow,

"I remember a brave and lost young woman who was still fighting to stay strong and stay alive despite having just lost everything," he muses and I fall silent as I think back to those moments.

"It seems strange that so much has changed in such a short space of time. To think less than a year ago I was just a village girl whose parents allowed me to play at sword fighting and shooting a bow," I say sitting on the edge of the bed, "the soldiers will not look to me, why should they?" I realise suddenly and he sighs as he kneels before me and takes my hands in his much as he had last night.

"You were never a mere village girl my love… I will not lie to you the soldiers will have trouble taking direction from a woman but you must have heart for they will see you as I see you soon enough, you are the strongest and bravest person I have ever met," he says solemnly and I offer him a weak smile knowing that he did not need to be constantly worrying about me.

It is worse than I think that day and I very much want to give up and run away several times but somehow manage to hold on. I mean don't get me wrong they were perfectly polite to me, they had to be I was the queen after all but I could see it in their eyes, I could hear the mutters and comments. What does a woman know of battle? She is a queen not a solider why should we follow her into battle? Faramir tries to put a stop to it but I can see the same doubt in his own eyes and it dawns on me that until I could prove myself in battle no one other than those in the fellowship would truly trust me.

"How was your day little one?" Aragorn asks when he finds me that evening sitting by the window of our room staring out at the sunset. One good thing about being married to the king is that we get the best view in the city and the nicest suite of rooms.

"It was fine," I lie not wanting him to worry, "What about you?" I ask and he sighs heavily,

"It went well but there is much to do and I am not used to talking," he replies which makes me laugh knowing full well that he would rather run into battle than sit and have endless conversations about logistics and rebuilding cities.

"Well at least we have each other," I say after a while and he smiles gathering me into his arms and carrying me across to the bed before falling on top of me as he attempts to detangle himself from my limbs in order to drop me.

"That is very true my love although we have little more than an hour before Marianna will arrive with our food and some new clothes for you,"

"So she is still my maid?" I ask unsure how I feel about it, glad that it means that I still get to see her often but equally sad that I could not just treat her as a friend.

"Of course as will the other two young women, why do you not want them to be?" he asks looking slightly confused.

"No. I mean yes I do still want them to be I just didn't realise that would still be the case now we are married," I say and he laughs a little nuzzling my neck, which seems to be a favourite thing for him to do. "I have a lot to learn still don't I?" I whisper and he smiles down at me his hands now holding my face, cradling it like a precious stone of some kind.

"We both do," he says and I lean up to kiss him before Marianna arrives and we eat and get ready for bed.

I lay in bed that night listening to him breathing deeply in his sleep, enjoying that he seems to be more relaxed and at peace now than he ever has been and hoping that I am at least a part of the reason for that. I cannot sleep however because my mind is replaying an image I had seen earlier. An image that even I had not allowed my mind to focus on until now. Orcs on wargs attacking a village on the outskirts of Gondor, just over the horizon from the city. It terrified me but at the same time I felt the yearning to battle and prove myself to the men here, show them that I wasn't training them just because Aragorn had wanted to give me a job or I had forced him. I didn't know what to do, tell him or keep quiet? I knew I had time, the image had been foggy and far off and Galadriel had helped teach me that image like that meant that the visions were possibly weeks away so at least I had time to organise my thoughts, or attempt to at least.


	31. Chapter 31

Six weeks later and I can no longer hide it, the images had been getting clearer, every time I sleep I dream of it.

"What is wrong little one?" Aragorn asks one morning when I once again awake with a gasp and a sweat glistening across my body and I sigh as I turn to him.

"Orcs are going to attack," I say in a whisper and he sits up straight immediately pulling me around to face him and forcing me to look at him.

"Where? When? How long have you known?" he asks the questions making my head swim in their severity and quickness so much so I take a shaky breath before I speak again.

"A village just over the horizon, I think it will be in a couple of days… I… I have known for a little while but it was so grainy and distant I did what Galadriel taught me and focused on the images becoming more clear first," I reply which okay is not strictly true but I don't want him mad at me do I?

"I shall summon the guard we will ride out immediately," he says jumping up but I pull him down straight away.

"You cannot go," I say and he looks shocked opening his mouth to protest but I jump in before I can stop myself, "I however must…" I trail off slightly waiting for the inevitable and it takes him about twenty seconds to process this information before he practically leaps out of bed and begins pacing and very nearly shouting, which would have been scary were he not naked.

"… I will not let my wife ride into battle without me. You are the queen of Gondor…" he is ranting away when I kneel on the bed and grasping at his hand force him to still for a moment, putting a hand over his mouth I smile softly his love for me creating a warm glow around me.

"You are a great king and an even greater husband Aragorn and I love you so much but you were the one that said I would not be myself if I did not continue to fight and train. You have been gracious to make no comment about the men not trusting me but you know as well as I that the only way to make them is to prove myself and this is my chance," I say and he shakes his head wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him burying his head in the crook of my neck for comfort.

"Your life is worth more than the trust of some men," he murmurs in response and I feel my heart ache knowing that I am hurting him asking for this but it has to be done.

"It is not just me men Aragorn, it is all of them, even Faramir and I need to prove that I can do this without you or Haldir or Legolas to protect me… I can do this," I say emphatically breathing heavily as I finish speaking.

"I know," he whispers a heavy sigh escaping his lips as I pull away slightly so that I can kiss thoroughly.

"Besides," I say, "Gondor needs you to keep things going and I shall only be gone for a few days rather than the weeks I was separated from you last time," I add and he offers a weak smile of his own.

"We must still keep your sight hidden though so I will call the guard together and tell them that I have heard rumours of an attack, I will name you and Faramir as the leaders of the charge but be prepared they will not be happy," he explains and I nod in response.

"I know," I say quietly, "that is why I must go,"

"Get dressed my love, I will call the guard and you shall ride out by this afternoon," he says heavily and I move to get up both of us dressing in silence until I approach the door and he stops me pulling me back to him. "Be safe, I love you too much to lose you, I could not do this without you," he whispers and I have to blink the tears away, fear and the memory of the images causing an almost familiar nausea to rise within me as it had most days over the last few weeks.

I approach the crowd of men from behind and gradually make my way to Faramir's side reaching my position just as Aragorn finishes speaking and there is a split second silence as the information sinks in before the first shout echoes through the room.

"We cannot ride out with a woman in charge," One man from the back shouts before a series of others join him.

"She is a woman what does she know of battle?"

"She is the queen we would be too focused on protecting her,"

"We cannot trust a woman in battle,"

"Enough," Aragorn cries and silence falls over the crowd of soldiers as I duck my head slightly feeling the flush of anger and humiliation creep up across my cheeks, "She asks for nothing more, in the form of protection, than you afford any of your fellow men who stand beside you now. She may be a woman but she had fought bravely in battles across Middle Earth and whether you trust her or not she is the queen and I the king, I have not led you astray thus far and I would never endanger the life of my wife willingly she is a fierce warrior and I trust that she will lead you well if you trust in me then in her you must also place your trust. Now say goodbye to your loved ones you ride out in three hours time," he finishes and I look up at him in admiration, I can still feel the animosity towards me it has diminished slightly and they are at least leaving without insisting I stay behind.

"Thank you," I say once everyone has left and we are alone in the room and he walks towards me kissing me gently before removing the circlet crown from my head.

"It is best the enemy cannot see you are royalty," he explains when I look at him questioningly and I nod my understanding. "I wish you would allow Haldir or Legolas to go with you," he whispers his face once again against my neck as my arms find themselves around his own neck holding him close to me.

"You know they cannot," I reply, "I will be fine, the Valar are not done with us yet," I smile at him and he peppers my face with kisses.

"Yes, i think you are right it is your destiny to return to me, we have much left to do together," he replies and I nod kissing him deeply dragging a groan from his throat as he back me slowly against the wall deepening the kiss even further before a voice clearing behind us drags us a away from one another.

"I am sorry your highness," but the council are waiting to discuss the rebuilding, in light of the news of attack they are eager to talk about the progress," the servant says ducking his head as Aragorn shield me with his body before nodding his head to the boy and offering a short comment. Taking my hand he begins to lead me outside stopping as he spots Annabeth in the corridor.

"Miss Annabeth, could you please take the queens crown and make sure it gets to her ladies made," Aragorn says and the girl accepts in eagerly handling it as if it were spun gold, which it could be for all I know.

"How are you Annabeth, how is your sister?" I ask before she can run away and she blushes furiously as she ducks into a low curtsy in front of me.

"She is well thank you, your Highness and so am I," she says before scuttling off.

"She is enamoured with you I think," he grins at me and I laugh in response,

"I think she is more enamoured with you my love and perhaps my gifts," I say and he pulls me into an alcove kissing me thoroughly once more dragging his lips across my throat as he whispers into my skin.

"I love you little one, be safe and come home to me soon," he says and then just like that he is gone and I am steadying myself against the cold stone of the wall before moving off to check and ready my weapons.

Sitting astride my horse it is hard to work out which emotion is more prevalent in me; fear, anxiety, sickness, love, anger and I have to put into practise everything Hallebrad taught me in order to show a black face to the men sitting around me on their own horses as well as the people lining the streets.

"I had hoped that with the war over we had seen an end to these parades it is like they send us to our deaths," one man says next to me and I turn to him despite the fact that I agree with him.

"There will always be evil in the world as long as there are people I fear but we shall not die this trip," I respond and he sneers a little at me.

"And you are certain of this?"

"I have faced bigger battles with smaller armies and I am still here," I reply steadily trying not to let my anger show.

"You may have but many did not, not everyone was being looked after by kings and elves," he sneers and I sigh slightly turning away not bothering to respond as I see it will do me no good here.

"Do not worry my Lady he will trust you once he has seen you in battle," Faramir leans over and whispers and I offer him a grim smile.

"And what of you? Will you trust me then?" I whisper back and he stutters for a moment before I interrupt him, "it is okay, I do not blame you let us just hope that the battle is but a small one and easily won," I say quietly before pulling ahead slightly and trying to appear strong and resilient even as I continue to hear the jeers and taunts muttered by the men riding behind me.

I ride alone and in silence slightly separated throughout the day and make sure I am situated apart from as evening draws in and we make camp. I don't sleep that night, giving up as soon as I close my eyes and see the images in sharp focus, sickness rolling through me and forcing me to sit up and focus every fibre in my body on not emptying my stomach. The attack would the next day of that I am certain now and the anxiety this causes makes my limbs shake, I had forgotten the fear I always felt before battle, although the strong nausea is new but I suppose that is because I am out of practise.

As dawn creeps over the horizon I rise stiffly from my position on the ground and begin to move around waking the men around the camp.

"We leave within the hour," I say gruffly throwing down some bread and moving off to ready my horse and check my weapons. I was not going to leave myself an opportunity to get too nervous because if I did I would have as little trust in myself as these men do for it is true this is the first time I had ridden into battle without help and support and more importantly protection from members of the fellowship. Perhaps I was stupid to think I could do this, I had survived the war because of those around me and the only time I had attempted to think for myself I very nearly died. Before I can think too much though we are mounted and moving, everyone becoming quieter the closer we get.

"Here it is," I virtually whisper, drawing up on my reigns slightly but before I can say anything else a screech alerts me to the fact that the Orc's are upon us, talk about serendipitous timing.

"Charge," Faramir screams and we do thundering into the village and clashing with the enemy in that terrifying, blood curdling, stomach clenching sound of metal on metal and ripping through flesh.

Their army is small but they have wargs with them and are battling fiercely, even so it does not take us long to gain the upper hand. I ride around the back of a few houses as I am being blocked out of the battle by the men which is equal parts frustrating and anger inducing and growl to myself as I let another arrow fly into he head of a Warg sending its rider to the ground also as it is about to kill a solider who I notice at least has the good grace to look abashed when he sees it is me who has saved his life. Turning away slightly I notice a small boy being cornered by a riderless warg and scream at him to get to shelter another solider who is nearby moves to attack the warg but before I can stop it he has had his throat ripped out and I scream but am too late the boy is dead also and the whole army are blaming me looking at me as the last orc is killed. Blinking I stare around and realise that it was a vision and swallow the cry of relief even as I turn and see the boy, the warg and hear my cry for real. Before I can think this time I throw myself forwards sword in hand, jumping in front of the other solider and taking the brunt of the impact. I am thrown from my horse and almost vomit right there at the pain that rushes through my stomach and abdomen. Hearing a growl behind me I struggle to my feet my sword in my hand and attack, able to see from the corner of my eye that both the solider and the boy are alive and safe and that the battle seems to be over bar me and this beast, others turning to stare as it lunges again and I dodge its jaws hissing a little as a tooth cuts through the skin on my forearm. I stumble as I fresh wave of pain forces its way through my stomach and roll before stabbing upwards and luckily catching the beast through it's throat, turning my head away from the spray of blood which pours out from the wound.

"My lady… you… you saved me," the solider stutters as he approaches me a minute later still standing amidst the silent men and wipe my sword clean on my tunic before sheathing it, "please forgive my mistrust," he continues kneeling before me.

"I too seek your forgiveness, the king was right my queen you are a fierce and worthy warrior," another says stepping forward and kneeling and looking around I see that all the soldiers are doing the same as are the villagers who are now emerging from their houses.

"Thank you but there is no need, I am no queen here I just wish to be seen as an equal," I reply ducking my head against the flush on my cheeks and slight wince of pain as an ache has now settled in my stomach punctuated by stabbing pains every so often.

"I think you need not worry anymore about receiving the trust of those around you," Faramir says quietly sometime later once we have burned the dead enemy and treated the wounded, few and far between thankfully, and are on our way home. I offer him what I hope is a smile and not a grimace and ride onwards. The pain is increasing with every metre we travel and I can feel a sweat breaking out across my skin but I cannot let them know I am injured not when I have just proved myself, oh Valar let me get back to Minis Tirith and Aragorn before this pain kills me.


	32. Chapter 32

By the time we reach the gates I can barely breathe the pain is so intense and as soon as we get to the stables I dismount and mumble something about freshening up before half running half stumbling to my room. I manage to get to the washroom before my legs give out and I let a cry of pain escape me as I wrap a hand around my stomach my hand touching the warmth I feel between my legs pulling away I see the crimson blood that coats it and cry out again rocking as I try to understand what is happening to me.

The sound of the door crashing open brings me back to the present and frantic calling of my names alert me to the fact that he is here and knows I am too and that something is wrong.

"Peyson… Little one… oh Valar," I see his pale face hovering above me as he tries to roll me over his own hand finding the pool of blood,

"I don't know what is happening to me," I whimper tears constantly pouring from my eyes as he attempts to cradle me in his arms,

"Why did you not tell anyone you were injured, we can stitch it up," he says his voice panicky even as Legolas hurtles through the door with Haldir hot on his heels.

"Please… get Marianna," I cry and Legolas nods speeding off again to fetch my maid while I continue to cry out in pain and fear.

"Oh dear what have you got yourself into," Marianna's voice is calm and motherly and I sob in relief at hearing it, knowing… hoping that she could tell what was happening. "Right tell me what has happened," she orders as she kneels down opposite Aragorn, ignoring everyone else in the room as Haldir and Legolas still stand in the doorway.

"I was thrown from my horse in battle and landed on my stomach but I was okay there was no wound," I break off as fresh pain flows through me and I feel more blood pooling out of me, "the pain got worse and worse and then when I got back there was blood too I do not understand," I cry more tears coursing down my cheeks as all bravery is gone in place of fear and confusion.

"Oh… dear, sweet child, your mother never?… come," she says looking at Aragorn now, "we must get her in the bath to ease the pain and the passing of the foetus and then into bed," as soon as she says this I very nearly scream out as I cling to him and I hear his own sob of grief as he pulls me towards him and lifts me up. Legolas and Haldir are both gone but I know they have heard and would not be far away, I just can't bring myself to care though I know I should.

"I was… I had a… I lost… my fault," I stutter through my tears unable to breathe or think clearly I just keep repeating the same words over and over again. I feel as if I am going crazy, I can hear what they are saying I listen to everything but I cannot communicate or contribute or do anything. I had been pregnant and my selfishness, my desperate need to prove myself had killed it.

"Help me to undress her and get her in the water," Marianna is saying and he is, they are cleaning me up and I am screaming in pain as he holds me and she makes me drink some concoction of herbs and I feel everything. It is an indescribable, sickening feeling, pain and guilt and disbelief in one. I am aware of writhing around of sobbing and screaming and hitting and him holding me to him, in the water with me even in his trousers and tunic but I can't understand it. I can't feel it properly. It is like watching everything through one of my visions and oh how I pray that this is a vision that I can wake from and change but I don't wake. This living nightmare continues and then I am in my bed and now I just feel empty.

"Get changed into something dry, I'll be back in the morning with food and hot tea, do not leave her," Marianna says now and then she is gone and he is on the bed with me pulling me to him even as I flinch away and my body starts shaking again and the tears start again and I can't breathe until eventually just as I feel I am about to pass out I hear his voice breaking through my haze.

"Hear my heartbeat, focus on that," he is saying over and over again and then he reaches for my hand and it feels so tiny in his as he places it against his bare chest and I can feel his own rapidly beating heart beneath my fingers as I slowly begin to get my breathing under control. "It's okay I'm here," he continues his mouth pressed right against my ear as he speaks. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to protect you, forever, do you understand that? Do you hear what I am telling you?" I can hear his tears now and it makes my own flow all the faster as I think of the pain I am causing him, "I cannot lose you little one," he says brokenly and I let out a whimper as he says this moving into him even further until I feel as though I could almost be a part of him.

"You are not going to lose me," I manage to whisper eventually although my voice sounds rough and hoarse from all the screaming and crying, "It's my fault isn't it? Oh Valar why was I so stupid, so selfish, we had a… the one thing I am supposed to be able to do… I was supposed to protect and I didn't even know… I killed… I murdered…" my breathing is erratic and he pulls me tighter to him.

"It is my fault little one I was so… I should have known… I should have insisted you stayed, I am not worthy of you… I should… Valar what do I do?" he yells the last words and moves to sit up and I jump up beside him wincing in pain but ignoring it as I grab hold him.

"Hey, hey I'm okay, you'e okay, we're okay, we are okay aren't we? We're going to make it through this aren't we?" I cringe slightly at the desperation in my voice as I speak but I cannot help it.  
"Of course we are, I love you," he replies back in my arms and gently easing me to lie down again his fingers stroking patterns on my skin as he tries to lull me into sleep and I almost do when everything that has just happened plays out in my mind and I sit up again gasping for breath more tears escaping down my sore and swollen face.

"It's okay little one, I am here, just breathe," his voice soothes thick with his own grief as he comforts me.

It is three days before I can bring myself to even get out of bed and in all that time he holds me. He has to leave to attend council meetings and as I watch him my heart breaks for him even as I marvel at how incredible he is that he can lock it away in order to be king and then he comes home and comforts me but I hear him in the dead of night when he thinks I am asleep. I listen to him cry and it makes silent tears of guilt course down my own cheeks too, I feel broken and hopeless and don't know how to make the emptiness go away and it is killing me. I think to die in battle should have been better than this agony.

On the forth day I am sitting listlessly by the fire place unable to really do anything other than stare dejectedly into the flames when Marianna sits herself before me. She has been in every day to try and make sure I eat and bathe and that Aragorn does the same but this is the first time she has sat and really looked at me.

"This has to end now Peyson," she says gently and I look up at her even as my eyes fill with tears I wasn't sure I had left to cry.

"How do I make the emptiness go away?" I ask instead as if pleading with my own mother for help, knowing that there was no answer.

"You have grieved for your loss and it will be one that stays with you forever but you need to snap yourself out of it now," she continues and I begin shaking my head before she has even finished speaking.

"I cannot…"

"You must," she insists and I feel anger surge through me and it almost makes me laugh I am so pleased to feel an emotion that isn't hopelessness, grief or guilt.

"You cannot tell me when to stop grieving for my child," I yell standing up and backing away from her as if she were trying to take a physical being from me.

"I am not telling you that Peyson I am telling you that this…" she breaks off gesturing around, "this is making everything worse,"

"Nothing could be worse," I scream my voice breaking as I finish and I realise I am now backed against the wall.

"Nothing? And if this is hurting Aragorn if this kills him?" she asks and I gasp aloud as she does feeling my stomach drop out at the mere thought of losing him.

"I cannot… he cannot…" I attempt to speak but words are failing me.

"He is being driven mad with grief and pain not just for his child but for you, he is watching you wither before his eyes and he can do nothing," she explains and although her voice is stern I can hear the softness in it and I slump to the floor completely and let her hold me as I cry.

"I'm sorry," I stutter and she shushes me stroking my back and letting me get it all out.

"Come, let us show him that you are going to be okay, together you will get through this he needs you to be strong for him too," she says eventually and I nod allowing her to bathe and dress me and then stand with me while I steal myself to leave the room.

"Does everybody know?" I ask in a whisper as she moves to open the door.

"No-one bar us and the elves, he has kept it that way," she replies and I nod moving to open the door before pausing again.

"It will be difficult won't it?" I ask and she nods her head offering me a grim smile and I sigh a little, "come then, I suppose I must see my soldiers," I say and she nods again opening the door and leading me out.

"My lady, there you are we were worried you had been injured or taken ill," one of the soldiers exclaims as I approach them and I take a shaky breath remembering what Marianna had said and locking away everything, enough was enough I had to continue living for Aragorn's sake if for nothing else.

"I am sorry to have worried you I was just enjoying spending some time with my husband," I reply which effectively distracts them as they begin laughing and joking about how lucky the king is causing a blush to rise on my cheeks and for me to turn away and inspect several weapons to avoid hearing what they are saying.

"Are you well my lady you look pale?" Faramir asks as he approaches me and I smile at him,

"I am quite well thank you my lord just tired," I say and he grins back at me,

"I am to marry Eowyn in two days time I trust you and the king shall be there?" he says now and I smile what must be the first genuine smile I have had on my face in days,

"Of course we shall, I cannot think of anything I am looking forward to more," I say and he squeezes my arm gently before nodding to someone behind me,  
"Excuse me my Lady you are required," he says and I quirk an eyebrow at him before turning around and seeing Aragorn standing behind me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"May I have a word in private?" he asks in almost a whisper and I follow him immediately worried that something is wrong, as soon as we are in the throne room and alone I place my hand on his arm and turn him towards me.

"What is wrong? Has something happened?" I ask and he sits heavily in his throne pulling me into his lap with a little yelp, on my part not his.

"Nay my love, I was just… I cannot tell you how relieved I am to see you up and around," he sighs and my heart constricts painfully Marianna had been right my selfishness had once again hurt someone I loved.

"I am sorry," I whisper kissing his forehead which I suddenly notice is furrowed more deeply than it has been since the battle at the black gate, "I have caused you worry and for that I ask your forgiveness,"

"You were grieving," he replies but I shake my head.

"We both were and I should have been stronger,"

"You are the strongest person I know little one,"

"Even so I am sorry," I murmur my fingers stroking the features of his face as he leans into my touch and pulls me even closer to him. "Faramir and Eowyn wed in two days," I add to change the subject,

"Then you must go with Marianna, Treya and Henriq to the dress fitters to get an outfit befitting a queen attending her friends wedding," he smiles and I giggle too, my heart feeling lighter and freer than it had in a long time.


	33. Chapter 33

The next morning I awake to the feel of Aragorn's arms wrapped around me holding me tightly and sleeping deeply and I feel a small pang of guilt once more as I realise that this is probably the first time he has truly slept since I came home.

"I'm sorry," I whisper thinking he is still asleep,

"For what little one?" he asks in his gruff morning voice and I freeze and cringe immediately feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

"For… for causing you worry and pain, I seem to do that a lot, I don't think as your wife I am supposed to do that am I?" I say quietly as I turn in his arms and bury my face in his chest.

"It matters not as long as you are well and it is my duty as your husband to worry for you always," he says softly his arms pulling me even closer to him as his lips brush against my head.

"I suppose I should get up and go and Eowyn," I mutter after a while sighing as despite my words I edge even further into the warmth of his embrace.

"Are you sure you are up to it little one?" he asks his hands finding my cheeks as he stares into my eyes as if trying to detect any wariness within me.

"I am sure… she is my friend and it will be good for me to focus on joyful things, besides she did so much for us and our own wedding it would be selfish of me not to help her now," I reply offering him a smile as he leans down to kiss me gently.

"I love you so very much Peyson," he whispers into my lips and I smile again moving just a fraction of an inch to press our lips together again.

"And I you," I reply before finally pulling myself away from him and getting up and dressed in my tunic and trousers, more regal than my ranger garb but after a long discussion with Aragorn and Marianna it had been decided that I would not wear dresses unless absolutely necessary. Marianna was not impressed and some of the men of the council were completely outraged but Aragorn pointed out that he was the king and I was his wife and it was time that things were brought crashing into the new age. I loved him a little bit more for that if possible and smile to myself as I wander down the corridor towards Eowyn's chambers.

"Just a minute," her voice calls out when I knock and opening it she lets out a squeal and embraces me quickly before pulling me into the room, "Peyson, I have missed you were have you been?" she exclaims pulling me over to the fire and sitting me in front of it.

"I have missed you to my friend, I am sorry to have been absent I was recovering from battle," I reply somewhat truthfully as I avoid telling the truth.

"You were injured?" she asks looking taken aback, "Faramir did not say…"

"Nay my friend, I was merely weary," I interject quickly not knowing what else to say.

"But you are well now?" she asks looking concerned and I laugh a little as I nod at her, feeling slightly conflicted, it is not really the truth I am not all that well, I still feel an emptiness inside me and I still feel like crying all the time. I want to tell her so, I want to tell her everything but I cannot face going through it again. "Good because I need your help with organising these things, I am going crazy with all these flowers and dresses and people," she says throwing her hands up before slumping down opposite me in mock despair and I have to laugh as I watch her.

"I am at your disposal then my friend what do you need from me?" I say through my giggles and she grins as she pulls me up and towards a table full of flower arrangements and cakes.

"Sit and eat, and look and tell me which you like the best so that I can finally make a decision," she says laughing at my bewildered expression.

"I will do my best but I have to tell you I would be better at choosing swords and bows," I reply skeptically, raising my eyebrow at her as I pull a piece of cake towards me.

By the time that afternoon turns to dusk I am full of cake and my head feels light with the scents of so many flowers, I can no longer distinguish between the different flavours or scents but have had a day that has been both pleasant and healing. It is as Eowyn is walking to the door with me that the child runs into me and the breath is stolen from my lungs as she hits my legs and I am hit with visions of my own child. The images are so vague and blurry it takes me a moment to work out what they are but when I do I gasp out loud and have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop a sob escaping as my legs buckle beneath me. A small child in a tunic and short trousers a tiny bow in her hand running towards the training fields, turning and shouting out for her mother and father… for me and Aragorn. I can't work out whether it is a memory or a vision of the future and I squeeze my eyes shut to try and remember Galadriel's training and work it out.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" the little girl says in a rush pulling me from my mind and back into the present and I take a shuddering breath as I look at her, almost eye level now that I am on the ground.

"It is okay I should have looked where I was going," I say shakily trying to regain control over myself as I see her petrified gaze and Eowyn hovering over us looking worried.

"But you are the queen… am I to be punished?" her voice is quivering and I feel so sorry for her I nearly grab her to me but manage to stop myself.

"Of course not, besides you may have noticed I am no ordinary queen," I say smiling a little at her and she smiles a tiny smile too, relaxing a tiny bit as she sees I am not angry.

"I think you are amazing my lady I want to be a warrior and a princess when I grow up, my mother said I can be do you think I can be?" she asks now suddenly more chatty and I smile again.

"I believe your mother is a very wise woman, I should like to meet her some time," I reply and she looks sad suddenly.

"My mother is dead my Lady," she replies in a tiny voice and I falter for a moment not knowing what to say.

"Who looks after you then?" I ask eventually,

"My sister looks after us, I was here to visit her she works here," she replies and I look at her more closely suddenly seeing the resemblance.

"You are Annabeth's sister?" I ask and she smiles with delight,

"You know my sister?"  
"I do, she is a very nice lady and a hard worker," I say and the little girl beams at me.

"I had a dream the other night that I was like you, I had a crown and everything, do you think that it could come true?" she asks and I feel slightly overwhelmed by the idea that anyone should wish to be like me.

"My mother told me once when I was a child that a dream is a wish your heart makes, maybe if you wish hard enough one day it will come true," I say as I look into the small child's eyes my own heart squeezing painfully in my chest as I am reminded of what I lost, but for the first time in a long while it does break me completely and I feel instead a hope for the future. For our future.

"Peyson," the voice is gentle and looking up I see that the little girl is gone and Eowyn is crouching in front of me concern all over her face.

"Sorry… the… my thoughts got away from me," I stutter struggling to my feet and allowing her to lead me back to a chair by the fire.

"You are crying Peyson, tell me, what is wrong?" I look at her and notice suddenly that tears are coursing down my cheeks.

"I… Aragorn and I…" I break off swallowing thickly and gazing fixedly at my hands as I try to steel my nerves, "I fell when I was battling the orcs last week…"

"You were injured," she says and I shake my head a little, more tears making tracks down my face.

"Not I… I didn't know but Aragorn and I we were expecting a child… I… I lost our baby Eowyn," I finish and she makes a noise of distress as she pulls me into her arms rocking me gently as I cry.

"I am so sorry Peyson, oh… why did you not say anything?" she sighs.

"I wanted to… I so badly wanted to but I couldn't," I say and she sighs again hugging me tightly,

"It will be okay," she says quietly and I nod.

"I know… I mean I really think that it will now," I say and she smiles sadly at me, "please don't tell anyone, we… we don't want anyone to know," I say and she nods after a moments hesitation.

I walk back to our room in a daze trying to see the image of the small child, work out what it all meant. The room is quiet when I get there and so I lay down on the bed and close my eyes trying to think, to clear my head.

"Little one," I start awake realising that I had fallen asleep.

"I fell asleep," I say dumbly and he chuckles a little before his face grows serious,

"You have been crying," he observes and I nod before smiling which causes him to furrow his brow in confusion.

"I saw our future, at least a glimpse of it, in a vision," I say and he looks taken aback for a moment,

"What is it you saw that has made you cry?" he asks and I reach for his hand.

"I saw a child Aragorn, I saw our child," I say and his entire face lights up,

"When?" he asks but I shake my head,

"I know not when but she was beautiful and was running and had a tiny bow to practice with," I say and he laughs aloud.

"Of course she did, then it will happen?" he asks as if he cannot quite believe it.

"Lady Galadriel told me that nothing is set in stone but that somethings were almost certain, I believe that it will happen that she will be with us," I say and he crushes his lips to mine in joy and I think a little relief too.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Okay so super short chapter to keep you going for a little while, with a bit of a cliff hanger and a slight change in perspective for the next chapter too :)**

The day of the wedding dawns crisp and beautiful and despite my dismay at having to once again be crammed into a tight and impossible to walk in dress I am excited beyond words to see Eowyn wed Faramir.

"You look radiant my love," Aragorn says softly as he comes to check I am ready, he has been out all morning with Faramir, checking that everything is ready.

"I feel ridiculous," I reply with a smile of my own as I admire his own appearance, "you however, look every inch the handsome king of Gondor," he chuckles in response pulling me towards him for a kiss before he offers his arm and checking that he has fixed my crown we head off.

The wedding is a joyous occasion and I have never seen two people more in love, other than Aragorn and I, as they say their vows and are joined in matrimony. I am so in awe of her grace and beauty that I find myself thankful that she has found Faramir because despite knowing that Aragorn loves me, I feel the city may have loved her as a queen more than they will me. The evening passes by in merriment and dancing. I feel like I am able to have a lot more fun at this wedding as I was not the centre of attention.

"You look beautiful my friend," Eowyn smiles as she sits beside me after escaping another lively dance.

"My beauty pales in comparison to yours Eowyn, as it always does," I laugh in reply, "tell me, what are your plans now?"

"To dance some more, drink some wine, and then to sleep," she laughs and I shake my head chuckling along with her.

"You know very well I was speaking of your plans beyond this night,"

"I believe that we shall settle here, it is Faramir's home and he is captain here," she says quietly.

"But what about your home?" I ask turning to face her more fully.

"I will visit but Eomer is King and besides, I could not leave my greatest friend, who would you have to help you dress as a lady if I left?" we both dissolve into giggles at this and pass the rest of the evening in a giddy mix of mead and dancing.

For the next two weeks life is as perfect as I could ever have imagined. I wake every morning in Aragorn's embrace, I spend my days training and sparring with the soldiers, who finally respect me as more than just a name, and I spend my evenings with Aragorn, making love and falling asleep against the safety of his body. The sun has begun shinning despite the chill that still lingered in the air and strolling down the corridor towards the training grounds I daydream about the night I had spent with my husband. Rounding the corner I am on the floor before I can register what is happening.

I am immediately aware of noise around me and voices calling my name but am so disorientated that I have no time to put up my shields before the first person reaches out to touch me. The vision is powerful and consumes me as always, images of a childhood, a large and loving family, growing up, the war, the grief for a husband, the struggle with so many small children, and then… happiness, a new husband, a new family and one that is just as loving. Breaking free of the vision I am gasping for breath and trying to focus. I see the woman and reach for her hand,

"I am so sorry my queen I was in a rush…" she begins but I shake my head opening my mouth to interrupt her.

"I am sorry for your loss…" I wheeze, "but know that you will find happiness again," it is as I hear the intake of breath that I become aware of the fact that more people are around us, and I gulp as I realise that they all knew of my gift now, at least in some part. I gaze around as panic begins to fill me, the men and women staring and beginning to whisper about the 'Queen's odd behaviour!' Suddenly among the faces I see Henriq and call out to her.

"Henriq, will you help me to my rooms please I am feeling a little faint," my voice is shaking slightly as I speak and although I am trying desperately to hold on to my composure, I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes.

"Of course my queen," she stutters after a brief pause and I do not have time to register the expression on her face, or work out what it means before she is helping me up and it is forgotten.

"Peyson…" Legolas looks pale as he sees us approaching, taking my weight from Henriq and lifting me almost completely from the floor as we rush back towards the rooms I shared with Aragorn.

"How did…?" I manage to gasp out as we approach the door.

"The whispers are already spreading my friend, I am afraid your gifts are no longer hidden," he sighs and I can hear the tension and worry in his voice.

"Where have you been Legolas? I have missed you," I ask instead, thinking that a change in subject may be the best thing for us… well me anyway.

"I have just this morning got back to Gondor, I have been to Mirkwood with Gimli and then to Fangorn, it is beautiful there now," he explains as we enter the room and the familiar exhaustion that comes after a vision washes over me.

"Tell me about it," I whisper and so smiling he helps me onto the bed and sits beside me talking of his adventures until sleep claims me.

Before I become fully aware of my surroundings several other things come to my attention. First, I was incredibly cold, like ice had seeped into my bones, colder even than I had been throughout our journey across Middle Earth. Second, my head ached, pounded as if I had a stampede of orc were rushing through it, come to think of it my wrists and ankles were also sore and felt as if they had been bound. Third, my chest ached, ached in a way it only had when I was torn away from Aragorn and it is the thought that something may have happened to him that forces my eyes open… an action I immediately regret!


	35. Chapter 35

**Third person POV**

The day is dragging by slowly for Aragorn as he sits locked away in meetings with the council. There is news of more uprisings on the borders of Gondor and Rohan has reported similar problems. Aragorn suppresses a heavy sigh as he listens to this news, he had thought that with the war over he could finally have safety for his people and for Peyson, she had suffered so much and he longed to keep her safe.

"My king what do you suggest?" the voice is gravelly with so much talking and Aragorn hides a grimace as he looks upon the weary faces of those around him.

"Double the guard and have more regular patrols, we must protect our outlying villages and keep the attacks down. I know not what this enemy is planning but we must be prepared," he says quietly before glancing outside and seeing the darkness there. It was well into the night and he had been away from her for too long already.

"My King…" the voice sounds panicked and the man glances up quickly and towards the door where the figure stood panting.

"What is it? What has happened?"

"It is the Queen…" he never finishes his sentence, Aragorn is halfway out the door and racing down the corridor, Faramir and Haldir behind him.

"Estel," the cry stops him in his tracks as he sees Legolas' pale face appear at the other end of the corridor.

"Legolas, where is she? What has happened?" Aragorn gasps his entire body stiff and taught with anxious worry.

"She is gone," Legolas replies, his voice as close to wavering as an elf's can be and the intake of breath is close to making him visibly wince.

"I don't understand, gone where?" Aragorn's body was by now thrumming with tension and whole corridor seems to have cooled in temperature s the men try to work out what has happened.

"She had a vision, a powerful one and several people witnessed it…" Legolas begins interrupted as Aragorn advances on him slightly.

"Why did no one fetch me?" he growls spinning to stare at those that surrounded him as if demanding an explanation.

"She said not to, she was well just a little faint and so requested that I escort her back to your rooms,"

"So she is there?" Aragorn jumps in, knowing it is not true, knowing that he is sounding desperate and ridiculous but not caring in his longing to know she was safe.

"Nay my friend," Legolas sighs shaking his head,

"Then where? What did you do? Why did you not stay with her?" he yells advancing more his fingers curling into fists in his panic.

"I stayed with her until she slept and sat beside her for a while, her maid Henriq came in then and sent me to get her water and food, said that she always requested water and bread and meat when she awoke after a vision, when I returned she was gone,"

"She never… Henriq did not know…" Aragorn mutters almost to himself as he processes this information, "Henriq, where is she now, she will know…" but before he has finished he can see in Legolas' eyes the answer.

"She is gone too, we have looked everywhere,"

"She must be in the city somewhere, we must find her," Aragorn's voice is hoarse with worry and he can barely concentrate on what is being said as Faramir shouts more orders and people begin flurrying around everywhere while he is forcibly taken back to his room to wait.

"You must stay here Estel," Legolas pleads as he tries to force his way past.

"I must find her I cannot stay here," he screams before being thrown to the floor.

"You must stay here Aragorn, you are the King you cannot fall apart in this way in front of your people," Legolas shouts back.

"What do I care for the people if I do not have her," he growls in response, shocked by his own anger and fear.

"And what would Peyson say if she heard you say that?" Legolas replies but before Aragorn can answer the door is opened and Faramir enters.

"What news?" Haldir asks immediately having stayed quiet during the earlier argument,

"The guards on the city gates let through a servant girl and her husband with a small cart not three hours ago, we have found the cart abandoned, this was in it," he says holding up the gold circlet Peyson had been wearing that morning. For a moment nobody moves and then Aragorn crumples to the ground letting out a noise of anguish that reverberates through those around him. A thing Legolas had only witnessed twice before, both times when his friend had felt helpless and defeated and the guilt that washed through him brought tears to his ancient eyes.

"We will find her Estel, we will bring her home," Haldir offers, his voice rough with his own feelings, Aragorn does not respond just burying his head in his hands.

"I must go and break the news to Eowyn and arrange the search parties," Faramir mutters after a moment leaving quietly, promising to send word of the search parties.

Aragorn finds him self pacing once again in his rooms, their rooms, his head pulsing with worry and fear.

"Estel you must sleep," Legolas exclaims in frustration into the heavy silence.

"I cannot sleep when I do not know where she is… if she is… I cannot," he replies heavily.

"It has been three days, if you do not sleep you are of no use to her,"

"She is out there alone and scared," he screams as he rounds on the elf, "I promised I would alway be with her to protect her," his fight suddenly leaves him as he slumps onto the bed running his hands through his hair, looking more weary than he had at any point during the fellowships journey.

"I promised," he whispers now looking up at Legolas desperation in his every feature.

"My friend you must sleep, I will go and find out any news and I shall wake you if I hear anything and when you are rested I shall ride out with you to get her," he says,

"You would ride out with me?"

"Peyson is my friend Estel, as you are, I would and always will protect you both with my life. I have let her down and I shall not do it again," Legolas says quietly, determination and guilt lacing his tone and Aragorn glances up at him.

"You are not to blame, she would not want you to hold any guilt," he croaks offering a weak smile which Legolas returns.

"I think I should return the same sentiments to you my friend," he says softly before grasping his shoulder and then leaving quietly. For a while Aragorn sits motionless staring into the wall before he eventually moves to lay on the bed gripping her nightclothes in his hands and inhaling her scent as he lets his tears flow and falls into a heavy sleep.

He awakes to the sound of knocking on the door and springing up he throws open the door to see Legolas standing there Marianna with him holding a tray.

"What is it?" he asks anxiously, feeling weary despite the sleep he has had.

"You eat and bathe and then we will discuss news," Legolas says walking into the room and sitting in one of the chairs by the fire whilst Marianna places down the tray and begins to move around the room cleaning the mess created by Aragorn's pacing, throwing of things and general despair.

"I will not eat when I could be trying to get her home," he cries before he he is silenced by a swift slap to the back of the head from Marianna.

"You will do as you are told," she scolds stunning both males into silence, "what would Peyson say if she returned to this mess, and you looking half dead, I will not have her thinking that everything goes to ruin if she is away for a few days," she continues.

"She is not away, Marianna, she is kidnapped," Aragorn says gently,

"I know that but do you think she shall see it any differently, do you not want her comfortable when she returns," he shakes his head at this and sits heavily opposite Legolas and picks up the bread between them chewing it thoughtfully.

An hour later saw a small group of soldiers led by Aragorn waiting to head out in search of the Queen. Legolas and Haldir, stocked with medical supplies were with him too and all were anxious to get going.

"We believe she is being held somewhere near the west limits of Gondor, the trail leads that way and there are some witnesses who have sighted a girl matching the maids description," one of the returning guards explains and Aragorn nods tightly.

"Faramir, look after the city in my stead, I shall return within these three days from there and I hope to have her with me," he says and after a few short words more the gates are opened and they are on their way. The journey is agonisingly long for Aragorn and he is reminded of the time he chased the Uruk Hai across the plains of Rohan with Legolas, Gimli and Peyson, that same desperation filled him, only this time he felt that should he reach a sight like the one they had come across then he would die. The thought of a life without her made his stomach churn and he had to lock the thoughts away for fear of breaking down in front of his men.

"We should wait here until night fall, send out some scouts," Haldir as they reach a hilly area a few miles south of the village they had been told to head and so with a nod of his head Aragorn stops and dismounts.

"No fires," he instructs wanting to ensure their presence remained a secret for as long as possible. Then the waiting begun, sitting around, polishing and sharpening weapons, talking quietly or pacing as they awaited news from the scouts. It was dusk before they returned, moving directly towards their King, hope and apprehension plastered on their faces as well as his.

"We are in the right place," one of them speaks quietly and Aragorn is on his feet and in front of the man in a movement so swift it is almost elf like.

"How can you be sure? Did you see her… the Queen?" he asks urgently, his heart pounding erratically, but the men shake their heads sending it plummeting once more.

"Nay my King but we have observed the maid Henriq she is in a house on the outskirts and there is an outhouse which is boarded and locked up, we have seen both her and a man walk in their, returning afterwards with food and water," the man pauses and the other one quickly jumps in.

"We were able to overhear part of their conversation, they spoke of the Queen of her stubbornness, I believe we are just in time my King," he says and Aragorn nods, unable to speak for fear of losing his composure. They had found her, but in what state would she be?

A plan is made hastily and within half an hour as darkness falls the men mount and ride their horses into the village, surrounding the house and attacking it quickly. Aragorn does not join them he is focused only on Peyson, on finding her and taking her home. Legolas and Haldir are with him as one of the scouts leads therm to the outhouse they believed she was being held in. Breaking the lock quickly they light a torch and peer inside, recoiling instantly at the sight before them. There she was, whether she was alive was much more difficult to determine. It is Haldir who reaches her first, Aragron having turned away to vomit at the sight. She is deathly pale and ice cold to the touch, her clothing ripped and soiled with blood. Deep wounds cutting into her wrists and ankles where they have been bound, that if she were to survive would surely scar, and her entire body seemed to be covered in wounds that were in various stages of healing.

"Little…" he cannot finish his words, his voice breaking as he kneels before her unconscious body, his hands shaking violently as they reach up to touch her face, moving her hair to uncover a huge purple bruise, a mark clearly made when someone had hit her… hard. His blood boiled.

"She is alive Aragorn," Haldir says as he continues to unbind her and assess her.

"I will Kil…" he begins but Legolas interrupts him now,

"He is dead already she is being held prisoner, she will be brought back and questioned before she is tried and executed, you must get her home," his voice is tight and overly controlled as if he is only barely holding his own rage in check.

"But…" Aragorn's instincts, his knowledge, everything was gone in the face of this sight… her broken body.

"I told you she is alive my friend but unless we get her back to Gondor where I can treat her properly it will not be the case for long. I have dressed the more serious wounds, now, wrap her in your cloak and get her home," Haldir instructs and it is the urgency in his tone that pushes Aragorn into moving, rarely having heard that in the elf's voice.

Moving forwards he pulls his cloak off and wraps it gently around her shoulders before pulling her into his arms and lifting her up and he stands, one arm beneath her knees the other supporting her back as her head lolls against his neck. It is only her tiny shallow breaths that tell him she is alive, he can feel the cold seeping into him from her and it makes him shake with anger and fear.

"Come let us get to the horses," Legolas says and they move quickly through the gathering crowd of the village, Aragorn avoiding their pitying gazes, pulling her closer to him, knowing how much she would hate this attention.

"Here pass her to me while you mount," Haldir says and Aragorn nods, "strange," he comments as he passes her back to Aragorn and he arranges her in front of him, her body suddenly seeming tiny and fragile in a way he could never have imagined.

"What is?" he says through gritted teeth, feeling that if he opened his mouth or spoke any more that he would be sick again.

"Her breathing seems stronger even in being close to you for such a short time, I wonder…"

"What?" Aragorn says, by this time they are moving again, albeit slowly to avoid aggravating her injuries anymore.

"There is an ancient prophecy, I have heard the Lady of the Wood speak of it only a few times myself, one that says, she who holds the sight will feel physical pain and eventual death when torn away from her soul," Haldir muses as he remembers the story and Aragorn frowns at him.

"You speak in riddles Haldir,"

"What if you were her soul and she is stronger already because she is back in your arms," he clarifies and Aragorn nearly lets out an incredulous laugh.

"I think her breathing is stronger because we have saved her from the torture," he growls and Haldir simply nods not willing to aggravate his friend any further.

"Come we must get back to Minis Tirith soon if were are to save her," he says instead and urges his horse into a canter, Aragorn tightening his grip on her and following clsoe behind.

"Come on Peyson, my little one, you must stay with me, you knew I would come, I have got you now. Hear my heartbeat little one and come back to me," he whispers into her hair over and over again as they thunder towards the city… towards their home.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey guys, just a super short chapter to keep you going, I know that it has been a while since I updated I've been super busy with work and have been suffering a bit of writers block which has just led to new stories popping up in my head which means even more to keep writing. Anyway hopefully this will tide you over for a while and I'll update soon and make sure that it is a slightly longer and much better quality chapter too. Oh and I just wanted to say thanks for all of the amazing reviews, your response has been awesome! :)**

Peyson's POV

The first thing I am aware of is warmth. An all encompassing beautiful warmth that seems to embrace me, a feeling I had thought I would never feel again. For a long moment I believe I am dreaming so often had my thoughts turned to moments like this when I was being held but gradually I begin to remember things I had heard, being moved Aragorn'v voice, horses running.

"Aragorn," I whisper my voice so hoarse I barely recognise it at all and the arms around me instantly tighten but there is no answer it is only when I turn over in his arms that I realise he is shaking and looking up into his face I see the tears making little rivers as they flow down his cheeks. "What is wrong?" I ask in fright and he lets out a small whimpering sound.

"My little one…" he begins, "oh my little one I have never been more scared,"

"Please don't be upset Aragorn I am home now, I'm safe, you came for me just like I knew you would,"

"I should never have left you alone," he sobs clinging to me more tightly than ever, so tightly that it hurts as he squeezes my wounds but I didn't want him to let go.

"Hush Aragorn, please do not distress yourself," I whisper and he nods slowly, taking a few moments to get control over himself.

"I am sorry my love, how are you feeling?" he asks eventually his own voice hoarse and gravelly.

"I am… I feel… I am not sure," I say after a moments pause letting out a tiny sigh as I do so. "I had thought that being here, that the war ending meant that we were to be happy but everything is going wrong," I stutter now and his hands are gently stroking the hair from my face as he listens.

"I had hoped the same little one,"

"Do you think we are cursed?" I ask then and he pulls me back to him in a crushing hug again.

"Nay little one this…" he breaks off breathing heavily again as he fights to control his wavering emotions. "Oh how I have wanted to keep you safe, since the moment I met you all I have wanted is for you to be safe and happy and I continue to fail,"  
"You have not failed, every second I am with you I am happy and I am safe," I say earnestly pulling away to hold his face in my hands and force him to look me in the eye, to see how sincere I was in what I said. Moving forward slightly he presses his lips to mine and I feel like I am truly safe for the first time since I had the vision. It is a strange feeling, one I struggle to comprehend let alone describe and I smile as he moves away taking one of my wrists gently in his hand and kissing the bandages softly.

"I love you, so much," he whispers and I smile.

"I love you more," I say and he chuckles softly kissing me again.

"Not possible," he responds.

We lay like that for a while in each others arms before sleep claims me again and I drift away knowing that his arms are around me. I know I am safe, I know that I am home and I know that I am dreaming but it is so real that I can barely control my terror. The smell of the hut, the pain ripping through me as they try to torture visions out of me. Waking up it takes me a minute to realise that I am screaming and that Aragorn is not there.

"Peyson," the voice is panicked and although I recognise it in my blind panic I can't focus. My breath coming in short sharp gasps and my limbs shaking uncontrollably.

"Peyson you must breathe child here," another voice and a hand at my back rubbing soothing circles and murmuring calming words to me. Eventually, I manage to control my breathing and I sink back into the pillows in exhaustion, my entire body aching and sore.

"Marrianna," I whisper offering her a smile which she returns instantly.

"Hello Peyson, it is good to have you home, you do know how to keep us on our toes don't you?And to think I thought you would be a nice break after Boromir and Faramir," she chuckles and I try to laugh too but break off as it pulls on my sore and bruised chest and ribs.

"Thank you for looking after Aragorn while I was away," I say instead, knowing that it must have been her that had kept him fed and forced him to sleep.

"It is not just me you have to thank," she says with a significant glance to the corner of the room, I follow her gaze and see Legolas standing there awkwardly. The sight nearly makes me laugh, I had never seen an elf look awkward, to be honest I hadn't thought it possible. "Now you get some rest I am going to get you some food and water and I shall fetch your husband for you too," she says preempting my next question and I smile at her again as she turns and leaves.

"Legolas what is wrong?" I say after a moment when he still hasn't moved.

"I failed you," he says in almost a whisper and I stare at him in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" I ask trying to sit up and failing at which point he makes his way to my side and helps me to sit up straighter.

"I should have guarded you, I should never have let you be taken,"

"This is not your fault Legolas, it is nobodies fault but that of the people who took me," I say gently resting my hand on his forearm.

"But…" he seems to be struggling for words and I am once again stunned into silence, never had I seen the great warrior elf, my friend so… so upset.

"Legolas, Henriq was my maid we all trusted her you weren't to know," I say and he bows his head but before he can speak the door crashes open and Aragorn flies in looking around wildly.

"Oh thank the Valar, I thought…" he trails off as he takes in Legolas and I and makes a visible attempt to calm himself.

"I'm sorry," I whisper feeling my face flush, "it was just a dream," I explain and he is on the bed beside me in a second.

"I shouldn't have left," he mutters and I shake my head tensing as Legolas moves to leave.

"Please, don't leave Legolas, I need… I need you all here right now," I stutter and he nods slightly and moves to sit back in the chair by the bed.

"What happened little one?" Aragorn asks after a moments pause and I shake my head unable to face dealing with those thoughts, unable to deal with even the nightmare.

"What happened to Henriq and the man?" I ask instead and Aragorn sighs but does not push the matter.

"He is dead Peyson, she…" Legolas pauses and exchanges a look with Aragorn before continuing, "Henriq is being held in the dungeons here until she stands trial," I nod at this news unable to suppress the shudder that rolls through me.

"I do not know if I am strong enough to do this," I whisper and I can feel their worried gazes fall on me as a wave of guilt for the anxiety I have caused them washes over me.


	37. Chapter 37

**Authors note: Just a super short update as an apology for being so completely rubbish with the updates recently, I have clearly been suffering with some kind of block but am hoping that at some point soon I can finally get this story finished and then work on finishing the others before starting anything new! As always I love to see your reviews and if you ever have any suggestions or ideas or requests just let me know :)**

It is a full week later and I am still unable to sleep through the night. I am constantly exhausted and have not yet made it out of bed unaided and even then it is just to bathe with the help of Aragorn, Marrianna and Treya. I know they are worried and I am too but it is like I have been drained of everything.

"Peyson my love, how are you feeling?" Aragorn whispers as he lays down on the bed beside me his fingers reaching for my own and I smile at him.

"I am so sorry," I murmur after a short silence and he looks at me in both worry and shock.

"What do you have to be sorry for little one?" he asks his lips brushing against my forehead as his fingers brush my hair away.

"All I seem to do is bring pain to your life," I whisper tears already gathering in my eyes even as I try to blink them away.

"You have brought joy and love to my life little one and never underestimate just how much that means," he says almost sternly and I choke on a sob as he gathers me into his arms.

"I'm scared," I manage at last cringing at the whimper in my voice.

"Of what my love?" he murmurs back into my hairline,

"I can't see her anymore," I say brokenly and he pulls away from me slightly to hold my face in his hands and stare at me.

"See who Peyson?" he asks and I can hear the confusion and worry in his voice as he does so and I bring my own hands up to grip his wrists as if trying to anchor myself to him.

"Our child," I say at last, "I used to see her when I closed my eyes, she gave me hope that everything would be okay in the end, I used to dream of her after that first vision but now there are just nightmares," I pause again taking a shuddering breath before asking the question that had been plaguing me more than anything else since they rescued me. "What if… what if what they did means that I will never… and that's why I no longer see her?" for a second neither of us seem to breath before he lets out a noise somewhere between a groan and a sob as he pulls me to him tighter still, burying his head in crook of my neck.

"Oh Peyson, my love, it cannot be the case, I will not believe it," he repeats it over and over before finally calming and pulling back to once again hold my face in his strong hands. "We shall sort this now," he says, determination lacing his words.

"How?" I ask in complete confusion,

"Marrianna, she can examine you, she can tell if there is any damage," he says standing but I grab at his hand.

"And what if the damage is invisible?" I ask and he frowns a tiny amount before his face clears again.

"After Marrianna has examined you then Gandalf will come and you will work with him to communicate with Lady Galadriel she will know the truth," he says and I nod offering him a small smile to try and appease him no matter my own doubts.

So strong is my desire to rid myself of these nightmares and memories of what they had done to me that I make no complaint, no noise, barely a reaction as Aragorn helps Marrianna to bathe me and then sits beside me as she examines me and says that she see's no damage. He smiles at that and I do too, although mine at least is false. I feel no better because I know that the damage may still be there and I am haunted by the thought of having lost a second child. I am not sure I could survive it.

"Child look at me," Gandalf's voice is loud and stern and I spin my head to face him and wonder for a second how long he had been there.

"Sorry, I was…" I trail off as I realise that there is no point lying to him.

"You fear you have lost the ability to bear a child," he states more quietly and I nod unable to hold his gaze as I opt instead to gaze at my hands, gasping a little as one of his suddenly grips mine his other resting on my forehead.

"What are you doing?" I ask

"Concentrate Peyson, close your eyes and concentrate, your fear has led you to stop trying and it is holding you back, it is holding your healing back," he murmurs the reprimand almost as if he is speaking to himself but I do as he says and close my eyes.

Opening them again I feel slightly dizzy as I sit up to see I am no longer in my bed but in a familiar clearing.

"Welcome child,"

"Galadriel?" I say in wonder as I struggle to my feet only to fall back to my knees again and let out a frustrated grunt.

"You have been wounded my friend," she states as she comes closer and I look up nodding,

"You saw?" I ask but even as I do I see the truth in her eyes and know that she had seen it all and that she would give me at least some of my answers and that knowledge led me to take what I felt was the first true breath I had taken since being rescued.

"You are still weak because you do not allow yourself to use your gifts to recover," she says as if answering a question I don't remember asking.

"I don't understand," I say quietly and she smiles down at me before offering me her hand and this time when I stand I am able to do so without falling straight to the ground in exhaustion.

"I should rephrase you are using your powers only in the wrong way,"

"But…" I interrupt her until she holds a delicate hand up to me and I stop immediately feeling a slight blush creep over my cheeks.

"You were so afraid that your powers have been used to try and block out nightmares only now that you are safe and because of your lack of practise they are merely blocking out true visions, you are unable to see your child because you are blocking it through fear, it is also what is keeping you so weak," she explains and I feel my knees tremble in relief at the idea that I would be able to see her, to have her, to live my life as I had once planned.

"How do I…?" I ask now unable to articulate exactly what I was asking and finding myself once again incredibly grateful for her great knowledge and intelligence.

"You must sleep, Peyson, truly sleep and let yourself dream and when you awaken you will be much as you were before any of this happened," she whispers and as she steps in front of me I can already feel my eyes beginning to droop slightly as exhaustion seems to wash over me.

When I wake again I feel… lighter. It is the strangest feeling and the only thing that I can come close to comparing it to is that moment when I first bathed at Edoras after so long traveling. Like being a new person, as if all the grime and fear and worry had been washed away and as I open my eyes I no longer feel exhausted and weak but strong and full of life. Turning my head slightly I see Aragorn asleep beside me still and I smile as I turn my body towards him and snuggle closer to him causing him to shift and wake a little. A by product of being a ranger and part of the fellowship meant that he was an incredibly light sleeper, always ready for danger I guess.

"Good morning," I whisper to him as I watch his eyes open and focus on me.

"Good morning my love, how do you feel?" he asks, his voice husky and rough with sleep and I shudder a little as it washes over me.

"Like I have found my way back to being myself at last," I say before yelping as I am suddenly pinned beneath him his smile lighting up his entire face and my breath catches in my throat as I stare into his handsome face.

"I have missed you so much," he whispers, his lips suddenly trailing wetly across my jaw and down my neck, where they pause to suck on my pulse point making me moan aloud and arch my back causing his growing hardness to gain some much needed friction and he breaks contact with my neck to groan himself.

Our love making that morning is slow and sensual, as if we were once again learning one another and by the time we deicide to get up for lunch I am feeling boneless with happiness.

"Lets go to see Eowyn and Faramir for lunch," I say as I watch him get dressed and he comes to sit beside me once more looking both happy and worried, as if the emotions were waring with one another.

"Are you sure you are ready to be out?" He asks gently and I laugh as I get up onto my knees.

"I should think that by now I have proved that I am recovered," I smirk and he smiles too as he stands before me wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him.

"Then I suggest that you put some clothes on before I am forced to forget all other things and keep you in this bed with me," he almost growls and I giggle as he holds me tighter and I squirm to get free which simply causes him to growl again pushing me backwards onto the bed and lowering himself once again on top of me.


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey guys, so first off I'm so sorry for taking so long in updating a bit of writers block hit and I am currently working on dislodging it. So anyway here is a super short, steamy and fluffy chapter to keep you guys going for now. As usual any comments, suggestions, requests etc. are always welcome, I love hearing from you guys. :)**

"Oh Peyson my friend I am so pleased to see you," Eowyn cries as she engulfs me and I hear both men chuckle at her enthusiasm.

"And I you my friend how have you been, I am sorry it has taken me so long to see you," I reply when she finally lets me go and we are able to sit down.

"You look so much better Peyson I hope this means I shall soon have your help again with the army?" Faramir smiles and I beam at him in response,

"Why of course I have missed it a lot, I look forward to being the one in control again," I smile and they all laugh a bit at this.

"Well that is good to hear," Faramir laughs and before long we are sitting and talking and eating as though nothing had ever happened and I begin to think that finally life can begin to rebuild itself.

"Are you sure about returning to the guard?" Aragorn asks later as we return to our room to prepare for bed.

"I think I need to, for my own sanity more than anything," I say quietly let out a soft gasp as he appears behind me, his arms wrapping around me as he nuzzles against my neck.

"I love you," I whisper turning slowly in his arms to face him, my hand finding is cheek and stroking across his features.

"I love you little one," he murmurs back before capturing my lips in a searing kiss, I respond instantly moaning into his mouth as he picks me up and backs me into the wall, his hands fumbling under my skirts, searching for their mark as my breathing becomes more ragged.

"My King the council has requested your presence," a voice calls through the door as it is accompanied by a loud knocking and we both groan as Aragorn buries his face in my neck.

"I will be there in a moment," he calls before gently putting me back on my feet.

"Duty calls," I smile half heartedly and he grins a little as he leans down to kiss me once more,

"I shall call for Annabeth to prepare you a bath and then you must rest a while, I'll be back as soon as I can," he says gently and I smile and offer him a nod as I watch him fix his clothing and leave the room.

The next months drift by in a happy daze. I finally feel safe and at home, I have returned to working with the guard, although there is little to do since peace seems to have settled. Patrols are still frequent but the reports of orc uprisings and attacks are becoming less and less frequent, it is like peace has finally found us and I can breath for the first time. Aragorn is still kept busy with royal duties and I do feel sometimes as if I barely see him anymore but I suppose that is to be expected in some ways.

"Little one," the voice breaks through my daydreaming and I turn away from the window in which I am sitting in our rooms to face him. Instantly alert when I see the worried frown that is marring his features.

"What is it? What is wrong?" I ask moving to stand in front of him, my hands automatically reaching for his face, my fingers trying to ease the lines of tension in his forehead, smooth them away.

"There are reports of an uprising close to Imaldris," he murmurs and my fingers still in their movements.

"I should get ready to ride out," I say quietly but am stopped from making any movement as his hands grip my arms firmly.

"No Peyson, you are to stay," he says and I shake my head automatically,

"Aragorn…" I begin but he interrupts me before I can say any more, his face set into a determined frown now.

"I need you here Peyson, I must ride out in the morning with Faramir and I need to trust you to be here," he says and I stare at him for a while before anger begins to build in me for the first time in a really long time.

"You do not need to ride out, it is my job to ride out, that is why I am captain, you must stop this worrying," I say hearing the edge in my own voice as I do so and almost backing away as I hear his answering growl.

"You seem surprised that I would worry," he says lowly and if I had been in any state of normalcy I would have heard the warning in his voice but I didn't I just ploughed straight on.

"You seem to forget that I am a warrior, that I have fought and survived in a great number of battles, some before I even knew you," I shout now and he virtually snarls this time, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides as he looms over me.

"And you seem to forget that I love you, that I have seen you so close to death that I have feared I would not get you back," he yells, breathing heavily as he finishes speaking and I am frightened for the first time of him. I do back away this time as shame fills me and tears well in my eyes,

"I'm sorry," I stutter after several moments of silence and he is inches from me in seconds my face held firmly in his strong, calloused hands.

"Forgive me, my love, it is I who should be sorry," he sighs, resting his forehead against mine and letting our breath mingle. An action that is undeniably intimate, so much so that it causes a slight shudder to roll through me.

"You were right," I whisper after another moment of silence passes between us, "I will stay, I will protect the city until you return, but you had better do it quickly," I say with a tiny smile and he returns it before leaning down to close the gap between us and kiss me, taking my breath from me as he does so. It never ceases to amaze me how even though I kiss him everyday, as much as I can really, his touch, his lips, he still takes my breath away.

Electricity sparks across my skin as he begins to fumble with my robe before pulling it from me, his fingers finding bare skin and setting fiery trails in their wake everywhere that he touches me, leaving me gasping and pleading with him as he smirks down at me, leading me towards the bed.

"You are wearing entirely too many clothes," I manage, in what I hope is a seductive voice. I am just glad that he is already married to me and cannot escape me now because seduction is not a skill I am blessed in.

"Patience little one, we have all night," he murmurs, his lips and tongue and teeth now following the paths his fingers had taken resulting in me panting and writhing around on the bed begging for him to touch me the one place I needed it most, the one place he seemed adamant to avoid.

"Stop teasing," I gasp out eventually and he chuckles almost darkly but I can see his own restraint wavering, see the desperation for me in his eyes and it makes me grin as I reach down to grasp him and relish the groan he releases as his head drops to my shoulder.

"Okay, enough teasing," he growls and I cry out as he thrusts into me. Our love making lasts for hours that night and I am thoroughly exhausted and sated by the time we settle down to sleep, a smile on each of our faces.

The sunlight is warm as it caresses my skin the next morning and I moan a little as it is joined by the caresses of fingers I knew only too well.

"Wake up my little one, I must leave soon and I will not do it without first saying goodbye," he whispers, his voice washing over me as I snuggle further into the covers.

"In that case I won't wake up and say goodbye, so you can't leave," I say with a smile and I hear his chuckle before I gasp as he pulls me up and into his arms.

"I love you," he mutters into he skin of my neck as he nestles his head there for a moment and I suddenly grip him to me tightly.

"Please don't speak like that, it makes it sound as if you will not return," I say and he moves his head so that he can look me in the eye.

"I will always find my way back to you, of that you can be certain," he says earnestly and I smile, swallowing the tears that want to well at the thought of him being gone.

"I should get dressed," I say instead and he nods, helping me to stand and dress before leaving the room hand in hand.

It is less than an hour later that I find myself standing at the top of the city watching the company of men, led by Aragorn and Faramir, ride out into the distance. I sigh a little as they disappear over the horizon some time later, fear already making my stomach roil around. I had never been very good at waiting, at being the one left behind and the thought of not knowing what was going on, well that is something I was not looking forward to in the least.

"Come my friend, let us go and eat something," Eowyn says from beside me and I turn to offer her a sad smile, she at least understood what I was going through, after all, her husband was out there too.

"Yes, I suppose we should," I sigh taking the arm she offers me as we turn to head inside.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Hey guys just wanted to say thanks for all the comments and reviews and sorry it has been so long so here is just a little chapter to keep you going and move the story on let me know what you think and any suggestions you may have! :)**

Two months have passed and things have… developed, shall we say! A week after Aragorn left I fell ill, for the first few days I hid it from everyone, believing it to be worry for Aragorn and not wanting to appear weak in front of them but as the days went on I did not seem to be getting any better and eventually Annabeth convinced me to call for Marrianna to check me over. I really didn't want to as I had given her some time off, I think she deserved to spend some time with her family and with Eowyn too, seeing as she had cared for Boromir and Faramir when they were young it seemed right that she would care for Faramir and Eowyn now.

When she finally was called and came she examined me and told me in no uncertain terms that I was pregnant. I think I spent at least a week in shock, I was excited, I was pleased but mostly I was terrified. What if I made a mistake again and lost her? What if I had an accident? What if Aragorn… no I couldn't even think about it. Eventually, I confided in Eowyn who was over the moon and proceeded to spend the next few weeks successfully keeping my mind off of Aragorn, during the day at least, with various preparations. The only problem is that as soon as I am alone I am left with my guilt. I should have ridden out and I agreed far too easily to stay behind and be safe, I cannot even claim that it is because I knew I was with child again, I was just afraid and it terrified me that despite everything, despite how long it had been and how well I pretended to be, I wasn't okay. Not even a little bit really, I was still too scared of everything, I was plagued by nightmares even now and the thought of going out to battle again no longer filled me with excitement and adrenaline it made me sick because all I could think about was being taken away again. Of being trapped and helpless of being tortured for a gift I had no control over and most of all of losing another child. I think the worst thing right now though was that I was glad I had stayed because I really am with child and that makes me feel guilty because it meant Aragorn was out there instead and the thought of anything happening to him made sickness wash through me so strongly my legs nearly buckle.

By the time the five month has passed by I am growing despondent and Marriana and Eowyn are becoming increasingly worried for my health. I know he is alive, I can feel it somehow and that gives me a tiny amount of comfort but I can't work out why he has not returned and it feels me with conflicting emotions. I am very obviously pregnant now and gifts are regularly left for me by well wishers and people of Gondor and I have been doing my best to rule the city in Aragorn's stead but the strain is showing. The baby is healthy but my heart is hurting. That sounds ridiculous I know but the pain in my chest is constant and aching, the pain that I feel whenever I am separated from him, I am beginning to lose weight far too rapidly and often feel faint and dizzy.

"My friend you must rest," Eowyn says quietly from beside me as I stand gazing out at the horizon, waiting vainly for him to return.

"I feel as if I am torn in two being parted from him," I reply listlessly barely having the energy to turn, stumbling as my legs wobble slightly, dizziness overwhelming me.

"Annabeth, wuickly fetch Marriana," I hear Eowyn say as she supports me firmly and leads me back to my rooms.

"What is going on?" I ask weakly as she bustles around the room,

"You are ill Peyson, you are weak and I am concerned for your child," she replies and fear washes over me.

"I cannot lose her Eowyn, I cannot," I whimper and her fingers find mine quickly,

"I shall help you my friend, you shall not lose her, not if I can help it," she says sincerely and I try to nod although everything is so hazy still.

Opening my eyes I am aware of the fact that I am in bed, that today is like any other day except the weakness is still there, the pain in my chest is still there and it is getting harder to fight it.

"Peyson, child look at me," I turn my head as I hear the voice and smile weakly as I see Gandalf there,

"Hello Gandalf what are you doing here?" I ask and he smiles although it is tight and strained a little and there is pity in his eyes, "what is wrong? What has happened?" I ask as watch him, thoughts of Aragorn lying dead somewhere suddenly flying unbidden into my head and I scream out at the pain that pulses through me.

"Stop in Peyson, breathe, he is well, it is you I am concerned for, you and the little one," he says seriously and I gaze at him in confusion once more.

"I don't understand," I say eventually and he sighs heavily even as I feel Mariana and Eowyn settling down close beside me.

"Your sight Peyson," he begins and I tense slightly, "you have been told before that it has made your connection to Aragorn stronger I had not realised until now how strong it was," Eowyn's fingers are tight around mine and I squeeze hers back not really comprehended what is being said to me.

"I still… what are you saying?" I ask and his eyes grow even more sorrowful which terrifies me.

"You are dying Peyson," me virtually whispers and I whimper audibly, sickness washing through me.

"But I've been doing everything right, I've been eating and sleeping and looking after myself to keep her safe and well," I cry, tears pouring down my cheeks at the thought of leaving him of taking another child from him.

"I know, calm yourself child, it is the bond, your sight has created such a bond that being away from him is causing you physical harm, it is the reason for the pain you feel, for the weight loss for the nightmares," he continues and whilst I can see Eowyn trying to hold my hands and Mariana fretting about my blankets I cannot feel it, I feel completely numb.

"What do I do?" I ask eventually and his expression completely terrifies me,

"There is nothing you can do child," he replies in a heavy voice, "I have sent out the guard to look for him, I believe that the troubles have been resolved but the King was forced to stay on to mediate between races, hopefully they will return with him in time," he doesn't say anymore, there isn't any more he can say and soon after he leaves to prepare a potion of some kind to try and keep the baby safe from the effects of the bond.

"Peyson," Eowyn's voice is timid and I see that her own eyes are red rimmed as she gazes down at me.

"I always ruin everything," I murmur after a while and she lets out a sob as she buries her head in my side and cries.

"All will be well my friend, I will not let anything happen to you, Aragorn will be home," she says vehemently and I smile weakly at her. I have not the heart to tell her that I think it may already be too late.

Hours later I can no longer keep my eyes open and I feel myself drift away into the darkness that pressed in upon me.

"Hello my friend," the voice is familiar and yet strange to and it takes a while for me to work out who it is or where I am but when I do I let out an immediate sob and fall to my knees. "Why do you weep so?" the figure asks as it kneels before me and gently peels my hands from their place over my face.

"Because if I am here then I have failed and I surely dead," I hiccough my body convulsing with the strength of my sobs and his arms quickly wrap themselves around me and hold me tightly.

"Oh my friend, do not grieve so, you are not dead,"

"But then how am I here?" I ask, my breathing stuttering slightly as I stare up at him.

"Oh my friend," he sighs as he takes in my face and pulls me up slightly to sit beside him on a stone bench that seems to have appeared.

"Boromir…" I trail off not knowing what to say, not knowing what to ask really. I don't understand any of this and it is more than a little frustrating.

"What is on your mind?" he asks after a moment and I let out an annoyed sigh,

"I'm angry," I say suddenly and he raises an eyebrow at me, "I'm angry at Aragorn, all my life I have been taught to fend for myself, to be a fighter to be a warrior and ever since I met him I have become this pathetic damsel in distress," I say and he grins a little at me.

"So maybe it would be for the best if you stayed," he says quietly and I gasp out loud feeling suddenly sick.

"No!" I yell jumping to my feet, "I could not leave him," I finish slightly more quietly as my fight leaves me.

"Calm down Peyson, I will help you get back to your husband but we have some time yet to catch up and talk," he says calmly tugging me back down to sit beside him and with a sigh I do.


	40. Chapter 40

**Third Person POV**

It had been five months since they had left the white city and Aragorn was desperate to get home, something akin to uneasiness had been growing in his mind these past weeks and he had just last night announced to Faramir that they would be leaving for Gondor within the week.

"My lord," Aragorn looks up from sharpening his sword as one of the scouts approaches him immediately alert.

"What news?" he asks wincing internally at the tightness in his own voice as he does so,

"Messengers from Gondor are approaching," the scout replies and Aragorn feels his entire body tense as thoughts of Peyson race through his mind. He is on his feet and moving towards the messengers before they have even reached the camp and by the time they dismount and hand him the letter they have he is almost frantic. He retreats to his tent on shaky legs and once alone sinks heavily onto the ground and with shaking fingers opens the letter, his heart stuttering as he reads the words.

 _Aragorn,_

 _You must return home immediately. We have spoken at length of the bond you share with your wife but it is only now coming to light just how strong and dangerous this bond is. I believe that being apart from you is killing her and she has this morning fallen into a deep sleep that she cannot be awoken from._

 _She is fading Aragorn, I fear that the only hope we have for her survival is in you returning as quickly as possible._

He lets out a choked sob as he re-reads the words and Faramir who had been waiting outside the tent rushes in immediately, fear for his own wife and city plastered across his face.

"My King… Aragorn, what has happened?" he asks desperately and Aragorn looks up passing the other man the letter and flinching at the intake of breath from the younger soldier. "We leave now, the others can follow behind us, we can be home in less than a week if we ride hard," Faramir says and Aragorn nods trying to gain control of his emotions as Faramir leaves to tell the army and prepare the horses.

"I'm coming my love, hold on," he whispers into the silence of the tent before standing and strapping his weapons to him leaves the confines of the tent and moves quickly towards Faramir and the horses.

By the time the two warriors arrive at Minis Tirith they are both exhausted and Aragorn is frantic with worry, his entire body humming with fear as they ride through the levels of the city, barely registering the cheers of those who see that their king has returned.

"Faramir," they both swing round and jump down from their saddles as they hear the cry and in a blur of movement Eowyn throws herself into Faramir's arms, his own closing tightly around her causing Aragorn's heart to constrict painfully.

"I have missed you my love," he whispers to her and she tightens her grip even as tears of joy pour down her cheeks they are mingled with those of worry and grief.

"Peyson… she…" her voice is faltering and quiet but Aragorn and Farmair both stiffen immediately,

"Where is she? Where is my wife?" Aragorn almost shouts, aware that he is being far too harsh in his speech and he sees this as both of them flinch in front of him but he cannot bring himself to regret it such is his panic.

"She is in your rooms, we cannot wake her," she says before having to run to keep up with him as he sprints towards his rooms and his love.

Crashing through the door he feels the air knocked completely from his lungs as he tries to take everything in. She is lying motionless on their bed, pale and thin save for the noticeable bump. His legs fail him then as he sinks to his knees beside her, his hands trembling violently as he reaches out to her.

"She is…" he chokes out as he senses someone in the doorway,

"The baby is healthy as far as I can tell, she has sacrificed her health to keep it safe," Marriana replies as she approaches him and rests a hand on her forehead.

"Why did no-one… why did she say nothing in her letters?" he asks hoarsely, unaware of the tears making steady tracks down his face.

"She knew you would return and that your duty was too important and I believe that she felt guilty," the woman sighs and he looks up then in confusion.

"What could she have to feel guilty about?" he asks and she smiles sadly even as she now begins to wipe the queens brow with a damp cloth.

"She let you go too easily, she felt that it was her duty to go and fight not yours but she allowed you to go and didn't really understand why until her pregnancy was revealed, something in her already new and she protected the child even subconsciously. I think that she believes that she sacrificed you for the child and the guilt has been eating her up," and he chokes on another sob at these words as Mariana graciously leaves them and he crawls onto the bed beside her, pulling her gently into his arms and burying his head in the crook of her neck as he weeps.

"Oh my brave and stupid little one," he cries holding her more tightly, "please do not leave me, you must wake up and come back to me, I promise you that we shall never be apart again, that we shall stay beside one another for ever if you wake up," he whispers the words over and over again in both Westron and Sindarin as he continues to cry and eventually he drifts into an exhausted sleep with her held tightly in his arms.

 **Peyson's POV**

"You have been here too long my friend it is time you returned home," Boromir sighs and I look up at him with a smile.

"I am not sure I know how," I say quietly and it is his turn to smile as he rests a hand on my forearm,

"You simply need to close your eyes and listen," he replies and so with a sigh I do, I close my eyes and concentrate on listening. For a while I hear nothing other than Boromir breathing beside me and my own heartbeat but then suddenly I hear whispering and so I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter and concentrate harder.

"I hear him, I hear Aragorn," I announce excitedly, my entire body relaxing as I hear his voice as if for the first time in forever.

"Good, now concentrate and go to him, and tell Faramir that I greatly approve of his choice in a wife, she is a strong and beautiful woman, tell him, tell them all that I am watching and I am proud," he says and I feel his lips on the top of my head even as my body begins to grow lighter as if it is being pulled into the air and drifting away in the breeze.

"Okay, I will, goodbye Boromir," I mutter and then my body is heavier again and I can feel aches I had forgotten about, hunger deep in my bones and movement in my stomach as well as strong arms around me but before I can work any of it out darkness takes me and I fall into what feels like the first real sleep I have had since before Aragorn left.

When consciousness finally begins to seep back into me I can feel someone shifting on the bed beside me and then movement and finally I hear voices too. I am too tired and weak still to open my eyes just yet but take some solace in the fact that I can at least feel and hear things properly again.

"She is breathing more evenly again and her heartbeat is stronger," thats Gandalf's voice speaking,

"Will she be okay?" the voice that replies sends shock and joy rocketing through me so quickly that I let out a little whimper. Aragorn, he is home, he is with me again. "I am here my love, it's okay, I'm right beside you," his voice soft and his breath warm against my ear.

"Aragorn," I manage to whisper, my fingers gripping his, where they held mine, weakly.

"Yes little one, I'm here," he repeats and I can hear the emotion in his voice.

"Boromir… he… I'm back," I manage, my words a whisper and I am aware they make hardly any sense but I do feel him tense as I mention our fallen friend and it is a long moment before anyone says anything.

"Rest melamin and sleep, I am not going anywhere, I will be here when you are ready to wake," he whispers.

"Do not leave her," I hear Gandalf say, "she grows stronger having you here but you must not leave her, I will have food and drinks brought here, you need rest also, I think she will be well but we must give it time," he finishes and I hear the door close quietly before the bed moves again.

"I am right beside you little one, forever, sleep now and regain your strength," he murmurs and I wince a little as I hear the exhaustion in his voice before finally relaxing into his embrace and letting sleep wash over me once more.


	41. Chapter 41

**Authors Note: Okay firstly, I would like to apologise for the massive delay on updating. Things have been crazy busy and unfortunately it is my writing which has suffered the most but I am working on fixing that and updating more often or at least wherever possible. So, with that being said, this is just a super short sweet and sappy chapter to wet your appetites as I remind myself of these characters too. I feel like this story is coming to its natural close now so there should only be a few chapters left.**

 **As usual guys let me know what you think and give me your ideas on sequels and other stories or one shots you would like to see. I will do my best to accommodate.**

The next time I wake I feel stronger than I had in a long time and opening my eyes I see Aragorn sleeping soundly beside me. I smile even as I feel tears welling in my eyes at the sight of him, home, at last.

"Aragorn," I whisper hearing the reverence in my own voice as I gaze at him and manage to move my hand to trace the features on his face, watching as his eyes flutter open and meet mine.

"Little one?" he asks almost as if he doesn't quite believe I am here and we are together again, "oh how I have missed you my love," he whispers before crushing me to him gently and burying his face in the crock of my neck.

"I love you so much," I say to him, over and over again and I can feel his tears against my neck, feel my own tears slipping down my cheeks.

"Please, never do this to me again, I am not sure I can survive it another time," he says half smirking, half deadly serious and I smile at him.

"Promise to never leave me again?" I reply, posing it as a question as I struggle to sit up and he helps me,

"Never my love, I will never leave your side again," he says earnestly, "I will never leave either of you," he ads his hand hovering over my swollen belly for a moment before stroking across it gently.

"I wanted so badly to tell you," I whisper and he smiles up at me,

"You are pale my love, here you must eat," he says jumping off the bed and putting a plate of fruits together bringing them to me along with some water for me to drink.

The following days are the happiest I can remember, I am with Aragorn all the time and whilst I know that at some point he would have to leave our rooms and get back to ruling Gondor but I was enjoying the time I had with him. I was regaining my strength although Aragorn barely let me walk two steps, he was so worried I would fall or pass out and so I spent most of the time in bed or sitting at the window being forced to eat and drink constantly. Gandalf and Marriana had been in a few times to check on me and seemed pleased at my rapid recovery although I knew they were still worried about the bond I shared with Aragorn.

"Aragorn I shall get too fat if you never allow me to move around but continue to force me to eat," I complain and he laughs as he sits beside me and pulls me into his lap.

"You are eating for two my love, and you have much to catch up on, you have become emaciated in your illness," he murmurs as he feathers kisses across my shoulder blades.

"I'll remind you of that when I have had our child and remain hugely fat," I smile at him and laughs again holding me tighter to him.

"It would make no difference to my love for you little one, there is nothing that could make my love for you falter or diminish," he whispers now and I stare at him for a while, my fingers stroking across his cheekbones as I smile at him.

"I sometimes wonder how I was lucky enough to find you, how I was lucky enough to earn your love, and I shall be forever grateful that our child shall have such a wonderful father, for there is truly no one better in this world," I say and I giggle as I see him blushing slightly before yelping slightly as I feel the baby kick me.

"What is it?" he asks in a panic which makes me laugh more before picking up his hand and resting it on my belly, placing my own hand on top of his and revelling in the shock and pure joy on his face as he feels it kick too.

"Our baby is eager to meet you," I laugh and his answering laugh makes my entire body hum with joy so long has it been since I heard him laugh properly and I make a resolution to make him laugh more so that I could hear that laugh as much as possible.

As we lay in bed that night, my head resting against his arm his fingers gently stroking across my skin.

"You have to go back to ruling the country tomorrow don't you?" I ask quietly and he sighs in response.

"I wish I did not have to leave your side," he answers and I smile at him,

"You are not exactly going far, you are not even leaving the city," I giggle and he merely grunts and rolls over slightly to press a kiss to my shoulder.

"I would still be away from you and any distance feels like it is too much, especially now," he mutters into my skin.

"Then I shall make you a deal," I reply turning my face to him, "it has been a long time since I have been seen in the city and I think it is about time that the Queen made an appearance and confirmed the rumours of an heir, it would do good for the people, I shall join you in the afternoon where we shall take a short walk before eating together, then we can address the people next week," I say and sits up on one elbow to stare at me.

"Are you sure you are strong enough little one, I would hate you to be weakened or put at risk," he says earnestly and I sigh a little.

"Aragorn, my love, I know I have worried you, continuously it seems, but I am not going to break, besides I have you by my side, nothing will go wrong," I reply with a smile and after a pause he smiles too and leans down to kiss me soundly.

"Well in that case we should rest, you must look your best for your public appearance tomorrow my queen," he smirks as we settle down once more and eventually drift into a peaceful sleep.


	42. Chapter 42

I stand before the mirror the next afternoon and stare at my self apprehension fills me slightly. I looked good, I think. My hair is shining and healthy again and I seem to have a healthier look to my skin again rather than the hollow, haunted look they had before but more than anything my eyes are drawn to the swollen belly that lay beneath my hands and my heart jumps a little as I realise that in less than a month I would be holding my child in my arms.

"Are you ready my friend?" a voice says quietly from behind me and I turn to see Eowyn standing behind me a gentle smile on her face as she takes my appearance in.

"I look… like a swollen old woman," I smile and she laughs as I do before stepping forward and grasping my hand in hers.

"You look like the queen you are my friend and you look like a wonderful mother already," tears prickle at my eyes slightly as she says this and I move away from her to stand by the window as I try to regain control of my emotions, pregnancy apparently makes me incredibly emotional all the time.

"I am scared Ewoyn," I admit quietly after a while and I hear her make a noise of concern as she steps towards me.

"What do you fear?" she questions and I sigh, throwing a glance at her over my shoulder before returning my gaze to the city wide view we have from our windows.

"My parents are gone Eowyn, as are Aragorn's, we have lived through… we both know how to fight, we know how to survive but I am unsure of my ability to be a parent, I am scared I will be found wanting," my voice falters slightly and trails off as I finish speaking and for a moment there is silence before I feel her hand on my arm pulling me around to face her and her smiling face.

"Peyson, my dear friend, both you and Aragorn are the epitome of survival and bravery and kindness and those are the skills I believe you need more than any other to be a good parent. You will love this child," she breaks off and places her hand gently over my stomach, both of us giggling when it moves beneath her palm, "you will be truly fantastic parents and after all, you won't be alone, you have us, your friends, your family around you," she finishes and I pull her into a hug before I break down and sob like a baby again.

"Right come on then," I say when I have regained control of my emotions, "time to see my people," the sentence makes me chuckle slightly at how ridiculous it still sounds. I had been Queen of Gondor for over a year now and yet the idea of having 'people' or 'subjects' still made me laugh with incredulity, I still couldn't really get used to having servants to be honest.

The hallways are fairly empty this afternoon as Eowyn and I make our way to my favourite bench by the white tree, which was now once again full of flower and fully alive, something that made my heart sing every time I thought of it or saw it.

"My Queen you are well," the voice is full of hope and reverence and I glance up to see Annabeth standing in the hallway before me and my face breaks into a smile as I nod at her.

"I am very well thank you Annabeth, I was actually meaning to come and find you, will you come to my rooms this evening when you have finished your work?" I ask and she nods her head, a small frown of confusion and worry marring her features for a second. "It is nothing to worry about I assure you, how are your little siblings?" I ask and she smiles before rolling her eyes slightly and shrugging her shoulders in a good natured way.

"They are well, although they give me the constant run around as children are apt to do," she smiles and both Eowyn and I laugh a little before she bids us a nervous farewell and rushes on her way whilst we carry on our walk.

"I don't know that I will ever get used to being treated that way by people I see as being the same as me," I sigh and she laughs,

"It is part of what makes you such a great Queen my friend," she replies and I glance at her feeling a blush rising on my cheeks even as she says it.

"And the other part?" I ask to try and make a joke of the situation and she merely laughs at me again and points towards the distance and I look up to see we have rounded a corner and before us are some of the soldiers training and my heart lurches as I see them.

"Oh how I miss this," I murmur as we walk forward and my fingers brush over the swords in the rack.

"My Queen, it is so good to see you," I look up again to see that the men had all stopped training and were kneeling before me.

"Will you stop that kneeling, you know that when I am here I am just a soldier like the rest of you," I hiss and Faramir steps forward chuckling and signals the rest of the men to stand.

"I think, my friend, that we have some time before you will be a soldier again," he smiles as he gestures at my stomach.

"Not too long I shall be training as soon as I can or I shall forget everything," I scowl and then blush as I hear some of the men laughing a little.

"Well we all miss you greatly and are glad to see you looking so well," Faramir says quietly as he moves to stand beside his wife and squeeze her fingers slightly.

"I think perhaps I should find some women to hold my place while I am away," I muse and I see him frown slightly but I interrupt him before he can speak. "Surely by now I have proven to you my friend that a woman can be just as strong and useful in battle as any man and I don't see why we can't train some willing women to fight," I add an idea forming in my head.

"But, my Queen…" one of the men says in frightened concern and I hold up a hand to halt him,

"The danger is over but we can not assume that there will never be more and we need to be as protected and ready as possible. I am not saying that we should train all women to fight but for those that, like me, have a passion for it we should not deny them the chance to be ready should we?" I finish speaking and can feel the flush of heat on my face and can see the doubt in their faces.

"Maybe a talk for another time," a voice says behind me and I feel myself relax as I hear it and, moments later, feel his body warm next to mine.

Wrapping his arm around my waist he steers me gently away from the training grounds and towards a secluded garden that how become one of our favourite places to sit and talk quietly since being here.

"How do you feel?" he asks the second we are sitting down and I am shifting to try and get comfortable.

"I am well my love, even if our child is determined to dance across my bladder," I smile and he laughs a little before making me hitch a gasp as he drops to his knees, his resting on my stomach as he leans forward to kiss it before beginning to speak.

"Hey, you be good for your mama, she has fought hard to keep you safe and well and we are both so eager to meet you. I do need you to make me a deal though, you keep your mum safe, she seems determined to worry me and every available opportunity, she always has done and one day I shall tell you all about how we met but you're going to have to be on my side in this," he murmurs kissing my stomach again before looking up at me. His face blurry through my tears, stupid emotions getting the better of me again.

"I love you so much," I say after a moment and he smiles as he moves to sit beside me again his fingers stroking against my cheeks.

"I love you more my little one," he responds and I laugh at that before moving to stand up.

"Well little one I am definitely not anymore and whilst I love to sit here beside you our child is still dancing in a most uncomfortable place so if you would be so kind could you escort me back to our rooms," he laughs as he gets up and helps me back along the corridors.


End file.
